Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

close to death giving birth...

330 replies

ghostspirit · 05/05/2016 09:58

im coming up 38 weeks pregnant. me and bf was talking generally about the birth. im having home birth and was telling him how midwife was saying how if i have to be transfered to hospital it could take upto 30 mins for an ambulance... he said thats rubbish they would get it there within a few mins or so. Then he started going on about how when you give birth your very close to death. of course i know there is a risk when giving birth. i said you can say that about alot of things there are risks in everything. i was trying to tone it down a bit. but he kept going on. it pissed me of because its not something i really want to hear when im not far of giving birth. so was he being unreasonble to be saying them things or am i being over sensitive

OP posts:
Original poster
ghostspirit · 06/05/2016 17:30

when i was at the hospital they said i could go back tomorrow and get bloods done. but it could wait till tueday if i wanted to. i said i would wait till tuesday. im wondering if i can contact them and ask if i can go in tomorrow to do the bloods. then i will have results faster? tuesday kind of seems along way of when im coming uo 38 weeks and last baby was 10 days early

OP posts:
Offred · 06/05/2016 17:31

Yes, that would be a good idea I think.

Offred · 06/05/2016 17:33

HCP's will be more comfortable the more info they have I would say. If the bloods are much better it will be a weight off. They may be thinking the b12 deficiency is auto immune which might affect your care too.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 06/05/2016 17:36

whats auto immune?

OP posts:
Flumpsnlumpsnstuff · 06/05/2016 18:40

I would say he was closer to death.
Telling a heavily pregnant woman crap like that, he needs a body bag and cement

Just5minswithDacre · 06/05/2016 18:44

Flump Grin

ghost auto-immune disorders are things like Lupus, Rheumatism and Alopecia, where a condition is caused by the body mistakenly attacking its own cells.

Original poster
ghostspirit · 06/05/2016 19:33

Oh ok. Doc said she wanted to look into the b12 after I have had baby.

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 06/05/2016 20:01

Which doctor?

Original poster
ghostspirit · 06/05/2016 20:09

About the b12 that was my own gp. She said after I gave baby she wants to check it out

OP posts:
Offred · 06/05/2016 20:20

They will probably want to check if you have antibodies to intrinsic factor which would indicate the cause of the b12 deficiency is auto immune. I don't know how pernicious anaemia (which is what that's called) affects pregnancy but I have another auto immune disease (Hashimoto's thyroiditis) and they wanted to screen my baby's blood for antibodies that might have passed through the placenta.

Offred · 06/05/2016 20:21

Will help having up to date blood results though.

Offred · 06/05/2016 20:23

You will definitely need to follow up the anaemia after the baby is born, especially if you plan to breastfeed because being very deficient in b12 can cause possible problems for the baby as well as problems for you.

Offred · 06/05/2016 20:24

And is a good plan to give you the treatment now too btw. Not just ticking boxes to get the HB - is important for health!

bluecarpet · 06/05/2016 22:03

I wish you luck whatever you decide but be under no illusions that a midwife can manage a PPH at home. Syntometrine is just the start and I have seen a woman go from baby out to ITU in less than five minutes. She'd have died at home. She very nearly died even with prompt action and about 50 bags of blood.

minifingerz · 07/05/2016 09:41

"I wish you luck whatever you decide but be under no illusions that a midwife can manage a PPH at home."

Don't scare monger.

Quoting from a blog by a midwife:

"A famous review of quality studies of home birth (Olsen, 1997) looked at outcomes for over 24,000 women and found no maternal deaths. The National Birthday Trust Fund study looked at around 6,000 planned home births in the UK, and found no maternal deaths."

Midwives manage PPH's at homebirths successfully enough for there to have been no maternal deaths from this cause in out of hospital births for many, many years.

It's also the case that blood clots, one of the major risks, are much more common in women giving birth in hospital because of the very high excess of surgery that women labouring in these settings are exposed to (as well as increased risk of severe PPH).

bluecarpet · 07/05/2016 09:49

Do midwives carry bags of fluids and cross matched blood these days? Wow, things have changed.

I'll revise my post - be under no illusions that a midwife can manage a serious PPH at home.

Offred · 07/05/2016 10:16

Blue - one of the reasons is that very often midwives will plan the HB and then transfer to hospital if everything is not ABSOLUTELY textbook in a high risk labour at home. Things are rarely textbook.

IMO I think this is what will likely happen with the OP.

Mov1ngOn · 07/05/2016 10:18

Mine all happened straight after the birth. Womb wouldn't contract. It was scary. Woke up in intensive care and for the next few days it was still really scary for me as they wanted to see if when they took the balloon out it would carry on bleeding.

There must be a reason noones died at a homebirth though. Maybe my pph wouldn't have happened at home.... (I'd wanted a homebirth :()

Original poster
ghostspirit · 07/05/2016 10:32

I did not say yesterday because I was sort of busy. But around teatime I had a call from another midwife. The senior one that I had a home visit from a week or so ago. She is in agreement with the midwife that I spoke to after the consultant....I been getting quite a bit of pain hoping it's not today I'm really in can't be arsed mood

OP posts:
bluecarpet · 07/05/2016 10:36

But this is by definition a high risk labour so any midwife supporting it at home is already taking excessive risks

PortiaCastis · 07/05/2016 10:38

Good Luck ghosty hope pains are braxton hicks. If not hope Labour isn't too long.
Let us know when baby is born if you can

Offred · 07/05/2016 10:38

I feel like I keep repeating myself but whilst it's good that the midwives are saying they are comfortable with it it really isn't that important. You need to be comfortable with it and you need to be aware of what exactly 'it' is. This is your choice and you need to understand it. More than likely you and the baby will be fine but I would say it is more than likely that given the consultant you are under has said she would recommend a hospital delivery and you are anaemic and high risk you will deliver in hospital no matter where you plan to labour.

Finding out what may happen and why may be important for your analysis of the birth post delivery and for your feelings on it after especially if anything goes wrong, which is not all that likely BUT I do think it isn't good enough to say 'all the midwives are comfortable' without actually understanding the position you are in in this pregnancy or the choices you are making.

Alfieisnoisy · 07/05/2016 10:43

blue a midwife is required legally to attend a labouring mother. Nothing risk taking about it as she has no option but to be there.

The midwife is NOT "taking excessive risks" if she has ensured the mother understands what the risks are. The risk of bleeding post partum is higher than with a first baby but if there has been no history of the OP ever bleeding excessively post partum then the risks of her doing so this time are very small. Higher than for a first baby but not significantly so.

All the risks increase with a poor obstetric history and with interference in labour.

With a natural onset of labour and normal progression then the risks are small.

Offred · 07/05/2016 10:46

Blue - whether YOU like it or not the NHS is REQUIRED to support a mother's choice of place of birth.

This does not mean that midwives are taking the risk, the OP is which is why I think she needs to understand the issues. I agree she is high risk, I don't agree this means she shouldn't be able to choose a home birth or that she won't successfully manage a home birth or that the midwives are 'taking risks' by doing their jobs in providing support they are able to for the OP to achieve the kind of birth she wants.

IMO feeling comfortable with the place of birth has a positive effect on labour. That doesn't mean it is never risky but it simply cannot be said that HB is barred from women who are categorised as high risk or that their outcomes would necessarily be better in hospital.

The unpredictable nature of labour and birth means it is usually only possible to really reflect on that post delivery - which I know is what a lot of doctors worry about with HB. Feeling that things are more able to be controlled in hospital and not worrying that the controlling of things in hospital sometimes makes the actual labour and birth worse because 'what matters' is that mother and baby don't die.

I just think, and I think a lot of people think that other things like environment and lack of intervention also matter.

Buckinbronco · 07/05/2016 10:47

A midwife is absolutely not required to attend a birth. In fact that's the only get out you have - we are unable to provide midwives for your home birth at present. How on earth would rotas work if midwives were legally required to turn up wherever whenever