Why do people on here question EVERYTHING?

[JenniferYellowShat]

OP - I think I'm being stood up

Replies - You are needy and desperate.

OP - My tenants are constantly late with their rent

Replies - It's your fault for renting your place. Expect them to do this, put up and shut up.

OP - I saw a man on the ground being hit by several police officers last night. WWYD?

Replies - But how could you have seen? It was dark. How could you see how many times he was hit? YABU
[answer - because I have eyes]

whatsyourdamage those comments are still going on, that thread is ridiculous and I am surprised that the op has been able to remain dignified.

I think sometimes it's useful to have your perceptions challenged. I posted here a lot with a newborn when I had dreadful PND and got a lot of support and kindness, I would say MN genuinely helped me through a horrible time. I do also, however, find it quite helpful to read posts along the lines of "it's just a baby, it's not that much work" which wasn't my experience but did make me think maybe I was catastrophising things a bit.

The lack of consistency comes as a direct result of who gets in there first. A nice considered and sympathetic response will lead to more of the same. An unpleasant and attacking response will do the same.

It depends. Sometimes a group of pps piles up with one opinion, then the thread turns around with different opinions. This is one reason why I prefer to read first the OPs posts before any replies. But I'm quite happy to go against the majority when I think they're unfair.

JenniferYellowShat
OP - I think I'm being stood up

On this one in order to be stood up she would have had to actually have turned up herself.

There's definitely a trend for the first few replies to set the tone of the thread.

"Should I give my 8-year-old a cheese sandwich?"
"Yes, why not? Lots of calcium"
"Nothing wrong with cheese, good to have low-maintenance dinners after a day at work, don't buy into the mummy guilt!"
....then 100 more posts mostly like that.

But if it starts off with two or three people saying YABU, the next posts will just pile on that and get more and more extreme.

"Cheese is TERRIBLE, start giving your kids real food."
"I bet OP meant one of those Dairylea triangles rather than real cheese. She hasn't denied it. Where are you, OP? "
"This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever read in my entire life!!! Can't believe there are mum's like you out there. God get a life!!!"

It's as if tons of people Read threads thinking "oooh, I don't actually know what I'm supposed to think about that. What do other people think? Ok, I think the same as that but more!"

If a poster is reading a thread and thinks the OP is getting an unfair kicking then why not just say that on the thread?

Many do, actually. Even when they are wrong to think so.

But apparently not the OP on this.

Although sometimes most people do genuinely agree on a thread but the latest trend is to call 'sheeple'. Getting bored of that one already.

There are some topics which should just be hidden straight away. Why anyone gets embroiled in a P&C space AIBU I will never know. Same with reclining seats on a plane, and cat poo in gardens Those threads all end the same

Add to this any thread about paying to sit together on a flight.

I posted recently in 'decorating and Diy' about a wooden floor in my teenage DD's room. I mentioned in my OP that I was replacing a make up stained carpet . I got to mums letters post that I needed to solve the make up on the carpet problem first! And if they were old enough to use make up they were old enough not to get it on the carpet ! Quite antagonistic posts without knowing the history i.e. the carpet is 15 years old! Made me laugh though, obviously the parents of toddlers or young children :-)

Ooh not seen one of those Behooven is it a yes or a no to paying?

3 examples, 1 troll. Not all trolls are caught, so possibly 1 other, undetected one, too. People quizz a bit before telling the world of their own relationship/ landlord/ police brutality experiences. Rightly so, as OP's examples show.

Trolls often don't come back (how boring- why bother?) or contdadict themselves hopelessly. Sometimes, the story becomes grotesque. The other posters know their contributions would be wasted.

Ah, found the slum thread. There's a wide range of opinions. Including some that only noticed the comment about pjs. But quite a few telling the OP to report it.
Not sure what that demonstrates.

You do sometimes have to be quite brave to support a poster who's getting an unjustified kicking. I've had occasions when I've been accused of sock-puppeting for doing that when a very quick Advanced Search would make it very obvious that there is no way I could be the OP's sock puppet.

If I thought someone was getting a 'kicking' I would report the kicker.

It's the nature of an internet forum that information given in an OP is limited and people often need more information to give proper, constructive advice.

I find posters who just uniformly say 'No, you are so right, don't listen to anybody else' as a matter of course far more frustrating. Particularly as they often give rotten advice which will ultimately be unhelpful for the OP but think that as long as they're being 'nice'.

But MN don't generally do anything about posters getting kicked unless it involves personal abuse or it's getting mega-vitriolic. I do think if it's unjustified it's worth wading in, if only to let the poster know they're not on their own and in order to present the other side of the argument.