To be annoyed DH knows nothing about female anatomy

[Sproutieboolaa]

DH, to whom I've been married for 15 years, and with whom I've had 3 children, was astonished yesterday when I pointed out that a vulva includes 2 holes. I had to show him a diagram.

Aibu to find this really annoying? I mean I had noticed I did all the childbearing work but he clearly didn't bother to look at a single book or website about pregnancy or even pay attention in all those birth classes. I am still cross.

What this has shown me is that it's INCREDIBLY hard to find real life images of female genitalia unless it's porn.

I want to see vaginas! And I want to see them in all states....not just front on! There's no shortage of dick pics out there!

Matt Me too! I have seen enough dick pics in my life but I feel like I need educating!

Be careful though, just discovered photos at bottom of page ]

I only learned about fistulas in the last few years. The work of the Addis Ababa Fistula Hospital is amazing.
en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Addis_Ababa_Fistula_Hospital

matt there is a site with loads of pictures of real vaginas- not porn but pics to inform women. I think it's to show that there is every kind of normal. I can't google it now though because I'm at work.

Kind of wishing I'd see your link first Silver! There's a lot of big words there, and it's very late, but I think I'm normal

Ah that would be the 'additional images' section

Perspicacia I read up a lot about this after reading and enjoying "Cutting for Stone", set in Ethiopia.

Thanks Livia

I wonder whether 1.45am is too late to phone DS for additional info about vaginas and genitalia

It'll have to wait until tomorrow evening or he will have his suspicions that his DM is totally batty confirmed.

My sister is forty and still doesn't believe women have three holes. The worrying thing about this is that she has worked in nursing homes and claims to have catheterised people on many occasions.

But on the bright side I've been doing long-neglected pelvic floor exercises while reading this thread and can feel the different muscles around the different bits post DC

So, now my turn to ask the obvious

After having the fallopian tubes cut/tied/whatever, then how come you still have periods? Because doesn't your body somehow know that you won't be having a fertilized egg implant again? If not, what triggers menopause? I thought the body detected the lack/end of eggs, and released certain hormones?

I'm always stunned by how much my body 'knows' and responds to. Like when I had DD by c-section, and immediately my body knew and started returning to non-pregnant state. Or when I had appendicitis but no pain, and my body still did all the clever fighting off a virus type stuff (which left me v. confused as I felt ill but had nothing wrong with me).

Not a doc, but it's the hormonal changes that cause the build up and breakdown of tissue in the uterus, not the fact of the egg arriving. The periods would stop if your ovaries were removed.

If you still ovulate your womb lining will build up and then fall away as menstrual blood. No need for open tubes.

I think it's easy not to know. I do know but it feels like exactly the same hole to me.

With regards to ovulation and tied Fallopian tubes, the Fallopian tubes end in a sort of fringe, and when the follicle on the ovary ruptures, the egg is caught by the fringe and guided into the tube. If the tube has been "tied" (clipped/cauterised) the egg is cannot travel down the tube and is reabsorbed into the peritoneal cavity. Meanwhile hormones (controlled by your brain) have been telling your uterus to lay down that nice cushy lining in preparation for a fertilised egg. No egg arrives because it cannot travel down the tube to meet a sperm, which means no chemical message is sent to your brain announcing "we're pregnant", so your brain adjusts the hormones to levels that tell your body to shed the lining - and you have a period. Things generally will continue that way until the menopause, when the hormones will no longer be sending the messages telling your ovaries to release eggs and the womb to shed. Before then the brain has no idea that the path of the egg has been blocked off so will just keep on merrily preparing for conception.

This is not the first thread on Mumsnet I've seen where women didn't know their vsgina and urethra were separate, which is sad reflection on the education system and one that I hope has now been rectified (any biology teachers about to reassure us that this is covered?), but I won't be leaving it to chance with my own DC and will make sure they know - I think it's important to know how your own bits work on a basic level at least (and what bits you've got).

I must say the sensations of weeing and vaginal loss are very different for me and clearly felt from different places so it's been enlightening for me to read that others don't find this.

I do wonder though if those that thought there were only two holes have ever had cystitis or a catheter passed? As someone who has had both I was acutely and painfully aware of just where my wee hole was each time!

Geez the condescension in some parts of this thread is what's shocking!

I'm an ex hcp and have done loads of catheterizations, vaginal swabs etc

Not everyone's nerve sensations are the same

Some women's urethra opening is very close to their vaginal opening which adds to the nerve sensations getting confused

In addition there's cultural/generational issues

My mother (catholic) didn't know when she got married how babies were made. She also thought tampons were sinful and removed your virginity! She certainly wouldn't have explored or looked at herself! She's only late 60's

I'm only early 40's and when I was at school boys and girls were given sex ed separately and only given the basic info relating to their sex. And it was still legal for parents to withdraw children from sex ed on religious/moral grounds.

My ex is same age as me and went to an all boys school he had no clue beyond basic baby making how women's bodies worked. I had to teach him about 3 holes, clitoris, periods (he knew women bled and that it was something to do with reproduction, he didn't know it was monthly, how hormones worked, that there was more than one hormone involved, that it hurt! That it was used to date pregnancy, let alone how that worked!), he'd no clue on bf either re hormones etc, knew nothing about pregnancy beyond it lasted 9 months and the widely discussed symptoms (morning sickness, bigger boobs), didn't know why periods stopped when pregnant, didn't know about the many other pregnancy symptoms (heartburn, piles etc).

But then he'd no clue about his own body either! Not just sex stuff, he took a bad bout of constipation once after a lads weekend, didn't have a clue if was because he'd been drinking loads, eating crap and no fibre for 4 days. He didn't know about vitamins effect on bodies etc etc

And for my generation he's not that unusual in my experience.

I've met pregnant women who don't know that's why they've had no period for 2 months. Many adults who don't understand nutrition or basic healthy living.

I'm shocked at our poor education in this country but not shocked there are people who don't know this stuff.

Urinating wouldn't be covered in antenatal classes, it's got nothing to do with reproduction!! It's a different bodily system altogether!

Just to respond to this from last night. I know! which is why it was bloody stupid for someone to query whether another poster had children. Which is what I said.

My antenatal classes certainly covered the detail of the vaginal canal, cervix and uterus. It would have been clear, if not actually discussed, that the vagina wasn't connected to the bladder. Childbirth is clearly relevant to this discussion as its a time you focus on all that tubing!

Science teacher here - ALWAYS start the anatomy of female bits chat with the 3 holes intro , and you can tell that it is news to lots of the boys- but then as they do have a multipurpose hole I can see why they might presume we do.

Childbirth is clearly relevant to this discussion

No, it clearly isn't. You only have to read the thread to see that!

You have same plumbing whether you have children or not and the urethra was not mentioned at all in any of my three pregnancies/births. Non-mothers have exactly the same opportunity to discover their anatomy as mothers.

Wow I saw this debate on Orange is the New Black and thought it was far fetched. I don't understand how you don't know where you pee from if you're a woman. Can you not feel it? It's the same with the hand mirror to look at your bits. I always thought it seemed totally overdone that women would be so squicked to have a look. But maybe it's true and it's just me who's not part of the norm?? I can't remember ever not knowing this or not havibg seen my bits.

Sounds like my mother she is so ignorant of her sexual organs- and sge has given birth twice.

I remember as a 15 year old asking her what a smear test was.

She told me that the nurse puts something like an umbrella into your womb, opens it, and scrapes the inside.

Thanks Mum.

There was a woman on here a few months ago who posted that she thought the same thing. She'd always just assumed that her wee came out of the same hole as her menstrual blood and her children, so I don't think we can be particularly amazed that some men think that too. I think we all assume that as children until someone tells us otherwise. Even with a mirror and some rummaging it's not that obvious.

Actually Soupdragon the thread is about whether fathers should or shouldn't have learned about female anatomy, taking an interest in the gestation and delivery of their children being an opportunity to acquire such information.