To be annoyed DH knows nothing about female anatomy

[Sproutieboolaa]

DH, to whom I've been married for 15 years, and with whom I've had 3 children, was astonished yesterday when I pointed out that a vulva includes 2 holes. I had to show him a diagram.

Aibu to find this really annoying? I mean I had noticed I did all the childbearing work but he clearly didn't bother to look at a single book or website about pregnancy or even pay attention in all those birth classes. I am still cross.

I know for sure what it's about, having started it myself.

Neither my ex or my DH knew that women didn't pee out of their vagina until I informed them.

This thread reminds me of the time I argued with DH for about 10 minutes that during my period, I do actually bleed for more or less the whole time. He insisted that it stops and starts, because otherwise I'd bleed to death really quickly. He still doesn't believe me.

I'm convinced he thinks that everyone has about a cupful of blood inside, though, as he seems convinced he's bleeding to death every time he cuts himself at all.

Sexy time can increase the risks of UTI if you are particularly prone. Cos the holes are all so close together, bacteria can get stuck on the penis and pushed where it's not wanted. Urinating flushes out the bacteria when you're finished the squishy, fun part. For some people (me) any sex is enough to start off an infection, to the point where sex is now followed by peeing, a shower and a prophylactic antibiotic. Kinda takes the fun out of it.

It's worrying when a man can't find a clitoris. And just rubs wildly in a desperate attempt to locate it.

And not every mum to be attends antenatal classes either. Let alone dad's.

Savagebeauty

I have never met a man who can't locate a clitoris. I have had a fair number of sexual partners and every one was keen to be intimate friends with my clitoris.

I have pearlylum
Naturally I didn't know them for long.

In ye old ancient days of O levels human biology for girls didn't go into much detail so I can see how the confusion could arise. Boys had 'that' lesson separately. I hope things have changed but I wouldn't be surprised if they hadn't.

My DH didn't know either until a conversation down at the pub with a mate where I was told to give him a biology lesson.

I'm not sure he is one hundred percent certain now as I have to sometimes guide him away from the urethra and back to my clit.

I also had to teach him what a cervix was very recently before an antenatal class.

I would definitely say it is a lack of knowledge thing than a lack of feminist thinking thing. On the other hand, I would say that repairing fistulas on women whose vaginas have been I injured during childbirth is very much a feminist concern.

The opening of my urethra is very close to my vagina - almost inside.

I don't think it's that stupid. Birds only have one hole for everything. Men have one for semen and urine. Although at my age (33) I'm fairly sure it was taught in GCSE science.

My dc1's father didn't know about the three holes until I told him. He was educated and intelligent and not of an older generation.

But some men just dont care.

Women should care. It's bloody important to understand how your body works.

Other similar ignorance that has astounded me-

-Not knowing that the placenta has to be birthed after the baby

-Never having felt inside their own vagina

-Not knowing the difference between the vulva and vagina

-Not realising that not everyone has a hymen/bleeds when first having sex

-That cervical cancer/hpv is sexually transmitted

-That there is no such thing as 'the pill' there are 30+ types, including 3 'generations' and the difference between the combined pill (oestrogen & progesterone) and the 'mini pill' (progesterone only) ie in how they work, when to take them and how effective they are.

The above reminds me of the professional woman who didn't know about the 12 hour rule.

-not knowing about the different types of abortion eg medical, vacuum, d&c and late stage.

-the worst of all though is the number of women I've spoken to who think they are obliged to 'provide' sex in a relationship

"For example I never went into the toilet with my mother and yet it seems quite common, judging by posts on here!"

You must have done when you were very, very small Livia. If you were out in public, your mother wouldn't have left a toddler on her own while she went to the toilet.

I know there are 3 holes. Learnt this in high school.

But I absolutely CANNOT feel the difference between, for example, where my tampon goes and where my urine comes out. Zero difference.

My mind is blown at people saying 'but how can you not feel the difference!!'

Can I add the size of the clitoris to your list Lightbulbon? I like to equate it to an iceberg, where it's common to know about the glans, but beneath the surface there's a whole lot of shaft/body/crus see: mosex.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/img_0927.jpg?w=300

I think the first diagram I saw of a clitoris going all the way around a vagina blew my mind.

I think Soup has a point, that childbirth and gestation is not relevant to whether a man knows about 3 holes. It was never mentioned in either hospital antenatal classes, any of my midwife appointments (dh attended most of them with my first), NCT classes etc. It's just not something which comes up when you're talking about the million and one things associated with producing a healthy baby and having a good delivery/ breastfeeding/ taking care of a baby. I knew because I knew before, not as a result of having a baby.

OP, whilst you may have started the thread based around this, it isn't really relevant.

If he's a good Dad, I wouldn't care if he knew or not. My dh is a great Dad and I have no idea if he knows or not.

I think it's perfectly understandable to not know this even as a woman.

I can't feel the difference whatsoever. It feels like one hole. When you menstruate and you pee, blood flushes out into the toilet with the pee. Then when you wipe it's exactly the same area. To
me it looks and feels the same.

I must be one of those where the holes are close together.

It's not understandable to me at all. Even if there is no space between them, would you not wonder why your pee comes out in a fine stream which you can control (unless you are incontinent) whereas the menstrual flow comes out in an uncontrolable gush that has to be caught in a towel or a absorbed by a tampon. I trust you don't try to insert even the tiniest tampon into your urethtra.

Yep, I've often sat on the loo having a wee and thought to myself 'it's amazing I can feel I am not urinating from my vagina'

Or possibly I haven't.

*though I am aware there's three holes down there. Since very young.

...whereas the menstrual flow comes out in an uncontrolable gush that has to be caught in a towel or a absorbed by a tampon.

My period doesn't come out in an uncontrollable gush. It usually only comes out when I urinate. I barely need tampons/pads, I generally only use one on Day 1 for peace of mind.

Different people are different. Amazing.

To the people who are shocked, many have said they just cant feel a difference, just becayse you can, why all the shock? Surely you must know everyone is different.

And no not every woman uses tampons, i never have and never will so no i would never feel that my menstral blood is coming from a different place than my wee.

It literally all feels the same period and non period.

Yes ive had kids and yes ive never felt a difference, yes i wipe and yes ive never felt a difference.

If you don't use tampons, do you use sanitary towels, flirty? I have never met a woman that never needed either, so think stoic might be quite unusual in that respect.

I can understand that women may not have been taught that they have three holes at home, or paid attention in science class as teenagers. But were you not taught about periods etc in primary school, did it not come up then? I definitely was, more than once, in primary school in Ireland in the 90s. Is this a generational thing? I'd like to think everyone under 40 (at least) was taught this in primary school? After all, puberty is usually well progressed before secondary school.