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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed DH knows nothing about female anatomy

396 replies

Sproutieboolaa · 01/05/2016 22:04

DH, to whom I've been married for 15 years, and with whom I've had 3 children, was astonished yesterday when I pointed out that a vulva includes 2 holes. I had to show him a diagram.

Aibu to find this really annoying? I mean I had noticed I did all the childbearing work but he clearly didn't bother to look at a single book or website about pregnancy or even pay attention in all those birth classes. I am still cross.

OP posts:
MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 00:48

Oh just seen it! Well....I just assumed that wee was thinner and could "pass".

Ridiculous in HINDSIGHT but hey...there's no blame here...as I said before, nobody taught me about the female anatomy, I had no access to the internet then...no books with illustrations. How would I know?

LovelyLungtch · 02/05/2016 00:49

I was wondering how people thought tampons worked to stop blood flow, whilst still being able to wee out of the vagina.

Original poster
Sproutieboolaa · 02/05/2016 00:50

smalllegs there are lots of folds bits, I don't think the urethra opening would leap out at you. I'll get him to have a proper look later Wink

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 02/05/2016 00:51

Bodily functions were never discussed in our house.

There's just no need for the faux shock horror that some people didn't know this.

^^ THIS

Original poster
Sproutieboolaa · 02/05/2016 00:51

lovely maybe they change the tampon every time they wee. Some people don't wee that often. Or maybe they thought they had to. Tbh it seems there are lots of people who never thought about it. Some people aren't very curious about stuff.

OP posts:
arandomname · 02/05/2016 00:52

I think last time we had this conversation on mumsnet we found out that some women can have the entrance to their urethra further back than most so it does kinda seem like it's part of the vagina to them.

Or maybe I imagined that! I'm not sure I want to google it - anyone else up for it?

PerspicaciaTick · 02/05/2016 00:53

I think it is shameful that as a society we can fail to educate women, either in the home or at school, about how their bodies work.
It shouldn't be possible to get to the age of 18 without knowing you don't wee out of your vagina.

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 00:53

Sprout now you say that I DID change it when I wee'd. That's because of weeing on the string!

I hated the thought of a pissy string.

I don't use them now. Haven't for years.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 02/05/2016 00:55

I have already answered the tampon question. I can't use them so never really considered the mechanics.

I knew I had a vagina and an ass hole. I have never looked at/up my own vagina

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 00:55

Perspic Yes it's terrible. What's also bad though is some people on this thread with their disbelief...and their blaming.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/05/2016 00:56

soviet. I don't remember being taught about wee hole, baby hole, poo hole at all as a child. I was toilet trained by 17 months - day & night and I guess just accepted your poo comes out of your bottom and your wee comes out at the front. I knew babies came out of your vagina. I never had any cause to give it a second thought about where your wee comes out exactly until I had a lightbulb moment when weeing when I had a tampon in and thinking 'Hey - Hang On A Minute?!....' I knew the vagina & urethra were separate but I guess if pushed I'd say I thought the urethra filtered into the very end of your vaginal opening and frankly, mine pretty much does.

LovelyLungtch · 02/05/2016 00:57

Ah yes got it Matt. I suppose I'm confused as to how women don't know, as the two areas feel completely different to me. As in, when I need a wee, or do a wee, it's totally different to when something is happening in my vagina.

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 00:59

Lovely It's more of a general feeling to me...I can't tell the difference. What I mean by that is that my urethra doesn't have it's own feelings. Obviously I can feel sensation in my vaginal area but my urethra...when I need a pee, it's a feeling in my bladder...not in my genitalia.

PerspicaciaTick · 02/05/2016 01:00

I'm going to check with my DCs tomorrow, make sure they both know.

SilverBirchWithout · 02/05/2016 01:02

arabdomname I have not heard this before, but now I'm wondering whether that is the case as it just seems so obvious to me with my own anatomy.

My DS is a junior doctor and is often called on to insert catheters, so I'm going to check with him about differences in the position of women's urethras.

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 01:02

Perspicacia I made a point of ensuring both my DDs knew about it. They're 11 and 8 and I talk about anatomy to them openly.

DD asked a question and I told her to go and look in the mirror at it...Grin she was outraged I'd suggest such a thing!

Parents who suffered due to overly conservative parents and bad education compensate a lot and cause embarrassment!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 02/05/2016 01:03

Agree with Matt

Same here Extra re toilet training

Lovely Is it really such a stretch to believe that some people don't feel things in the same way as others?

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 01:03

Silver oh yes do! And come back and tell us! I can't imagine them being in different places.

Mine is forward of my vagina...not close to it really.

IcyTeaAndScoopyScoopyDogDog · 02/05/2016 01:04

Well I didn't know till I read in on MN so shove that up your pee hole, where ever it is...

Never used tampons, never had a sex talk, never had periods explained to me. Not taught to us in biology, not covered in the single sex class we had. Not advised when I had 2 kids- both sections. My periods are a flooding nightmare- I'm surprised it's not coming out my arse.

Not everyone had parents that taught them biology.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 02/05/2016 01:04

I am now measuring the distance between my urethra and my vagina and thinking maybe my bits are reeeeallly spread out.

Will ask dp at an opportune moment.

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 01:05

Icy your anatomy education sounds like mine! Grin

MattDillonsPants · 02/05/2016 01:05

Small my urethra is really hard to find!

There's a sentence I never thought I'd say!

LovelyLungtch · 02/05/2016 01:06

Aah. Right well it's beginning to make more sense to me now, and I'm really not being facetious Livia. When I need a pee, the sensation is definitely in my bladder and in my urethra too, which in turn is different to the feeling in my vag. So perhaps I'm a bit more sort of sensitive down there. Would make sense actually as I have Fibromyalgia and related health conditions.

I must say this isn't how expected to be spending my Sunday night, but it's bloody fascinating all the same. I sort of assumed we all felt roughly the same sensations down there.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 02/05/2016 01:06

Sproutie I have a fully loaded iPad & I'm not afraid of using it. I will send photos! There are thngs you cannot 'unsee' Be warned 😁

My wee does NOT come out 'much higher up' My urethra looks as if it's part of my vaginal entrance.

honest to god, the things we share on here

mummyto2monkeys · 02/05/2016 01:06

Lol my husband thought the exact same thing, my two children at six and eight overheard and ds (8) said (Even I know that Daddy). But then sex education was always taught in segregated classes (boys were taught about male anatomy and we girls got female anatomy, the class only joined together to learn about sex). So my poor Dh was pretty oblivious, despite being present at both births and up close to my anatomy for the past thirteen years. My husband is not thick/ stupid, he just was never taught female anatomy. I had to show him the book I used with my kids before he would believe me. He is the more prudish wrt sex ed, so he wasn't even in the room when I taught our kids. I get all the questions, and will always do because even my kids have noticed that their Daddy gets embarrassed.

I think YABU to be angry at your dh OP, I would be angry about the poor education he and a lot of other men have received.