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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed DH knows nothing about female anatomy

396 replies

Sproutieboolaa · 01/05/2016 22:04

DH, to whom I've been married for 15 years, and with whom I've had 3 children, was astonished yesterday when I pointed out that a vulva includes 2 holes. I had to show him a diagram.

Aibu to find this really annoying? I mean I had noticed I did all the childbearing work but he clearly didn't bother to look at a single book or website about pregnancy or even pay attention in all those birth classes. I am still cross.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 03/05/2016 00:03

That was to Sproutie not you Sparkle

Original poster
Sproutieboolaa · 03/05/2016 00:08

You asked, Livia

OP posts:
Amy214 · 03/05/2016 00:14

Surely you all had sex education at school?

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 03/05/2016 00:47

Today I asked my 8 yr olds they didn't know so I told them. They found that quite entertaining.
I asked dp. He knew already. He was less forthcoming on the topic of variation though so I have no idea if mine is in a typical location.

I did also have a good look which I am now trying to forget. Having not looked much since the stitches what was already a bit unappetising to my eye is now a bit of a bombsite. Sad anyway although I knew roughly where it was it isn't exactly where I thought and I think a lot of the sensation must be to do with jow the labia lie....
So as a PP says if your labia fold one way it funnels wee back towards the vaginal opening whereas in my case it comes out pretty much where my clit is which gave me the impression that it and the urethra were much closer than they are on closer inspection.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 03/05/2016 00:48

And the ehole experience of having a closer look made me think of this

To be annoyed DH knows nothing about female anatomy
cleaty · 03/05/2016 00:49

I didn't know until I was 18 and a boyfriend told me.
Sex education used to be dire in this country. We were simply told what sex was, and to use a condom to prevent HIV.

SmallLegsOrSmallEggs · 03/05/2016 00:53

And also of this

To be annoyed DH knows nothing about female anatomy
FLhahaha · 03/05/2016 07:18

I just have boys so I genuinely don't know the answer to this but - isn't it obvious (about 3 holes) when you change a girls nappy? Or does the vulva just stay closed?

Startingover2016 · 03/05/2016 07:24

I can't see the pee hole on myself and never seen it on dc either.

pearlylum · 03/05/2016 07:29

I thought self exploration with a mirror was a right of passage, We were also taught in biology about basic human anatomy, so of course I wanted to find out for myself. I saw my pee hole when I was around 14.

For the others who are not body curious are you equally ignorant about other areas? Moles you need to keep an eye on? Patches of dry skin that you have to you moisturise well, bikini line you keep in trim, toenails than have to be cut sensibly to avoid ingrowth- that pesky nipple hair that you like to pluck?

To me it's all part of the same thing?

Twinkie1 · 03/05/2016 07:31

I used to work with a degree educated woman who wouldn't use a tampax as she couldn't be bothered to take it out each time she needed a wee!! Confused

AtSea1979 · 03/05/2016 07:33

I was with you until you said nipple hair Confused

pearlylum · 03/05/2016 07:39

atsea- not sure what you mean- if this site is anything to go by many women have rogue nipple hairs. I think it's quite common.

Flufflepuff · 03/05/2016 07:55

My shock is in no way faux. I feel I have entered a parallel universe.

Me too - it's such an alien notion. I've never really given it conscious thought but have honestly assumed that we're all equally, er, spaced apart and sensitive down there. The sensations are so vividly apart for me that even if I hadn't had a misspent youth exploring, I would have "known".

That's not quite the same as saying "You are stupid for not knowing". It's more "how do we have such vastly different experiences of something I assumed was universal?" - which is an odd experience.

So don't get so cross at people for being surprised! You learn something new every day and all!

MattDillonsPants · 03/05/2016 08:04

This is very valuable discussion. Fluffle I can't even imagine there being two distinct sensations!

When I need a wee, the sensation is in my bladder...and when I do one, any sensation is a general one...felt in the whole genitalia! Well..not in my clitoris but you know what I mean.

Pearly I DID self examine with a mirror! I still saw no pee hole.

gonetoseeamanaboutadog · 03/05/2016 08:08

I can't wee around a Tampax sometimes, not at all around the tampons that expand width ways. Obviously I know they are different passages but they must be right next to each other.

I also have nipple hair...

MrsKoala · 03/05/2016 08:09

But mole changes are indications of cancer, i don't do a routine mole check but i can feel one if it feels different (i've had 3 removed). Patches of dry skin irritate so they remind me they need moisturisation. Pubes i trim when it gets itchy - so again it reminds me to do it and i wouldn't remember if it wasn't uncomfortable, same with nipple hair or if i am naked and i see it and i have tweezers in view - not something i go looking for - I get most hair waxed once a month for swimming.

I can't compare these to looking at my nethers with a mirror. I know what is there as i can feel it, if it felt different or strange then yes i'd take a closer look. But just looking at it seems unnecessary to me. I don't look at other areas of my body i can't see normally either. I feel completely connected to it all. I don't need to look at it as if it's a foreign place.

GipsyDanger · 03/05/2016 08:24

Lol I loved that bit in orange is the new black when Sophia gives an anatomy lesson.

Twinkie1 · 03/05/2016 09:21

I've lumead my rogue nipple hair! Blush

MetalMidget · 03/05/2016 10:34

How do people not know this? I learnt about it in primary school, and it was reinforced throughout secondary school biology!

That said, I had an ex who didn't know, and he had a degree in biology and was a lab technician. :|

Worcswoman · 03/05/2016 10:51

Perhaps as he had a penis he assumed he already knew everything?

Lancelottie · 03/05/2016 11:06

How do people not know this? MatelMidget, I think there are quite a lot of us on this thread who know perfectly well in theory that there are multiple holes, but because of variations in sensation or anatomy, would never have guessed it left to our own devices.

Lancelottie · 03/05/2016 11:07

Metal, even. Clearly am unable to distinguish between keys as well as holes.

mrskim123 · 03/05/2016 11:21

I think you'll find that many men find women in general a bit of a mystery!

exaltedwombat · 03/05/2016 11:25

Diagrams are one thing. This man was lucky enough to know a woman who, when she discovered I wasn't completely clear what came out of where, said "Come on, I'll show you". And she did.