To be shocked at Dd's friend's tampon experience

[EdithBouvierBeale]

DD is ten and her class just had the period chat at school. One little girl, whose mum is a GP, was shown how to insert a tampon. Her mother demonstrated on herself by lying on her bed while her 10 year old DD watched.

Well I'm of an age when most mums only told you about it when they had to. My mum said I couldnt use tampax until I was married - in other words they were unsuitable for virgins!

Can't get worked up about this

Lorraine46 Sat 30-Apr-16 13:37:57
Disgusting!!!!!! My daughter has started her periods (she's 10)......towels are perfectly acceptable at that age.......tampons are NOT necessary

I hope you're not pushing the idea that tampons are disgusting onto your DD. She should be free to try all sorts of products so she can decide which ones suit her.

That does mean products that she is happy with, not ones that you are happy with.

I agree Raspberry BUT tampons are not great in that they leave behind loads of bleached fibres behind them. Tampons have multiple chemicals within them and personally I don't use them because of that.

I feel quite strongly that girls need to be shown alternatives such as the Mooncup.

Reeducating teens about these things can only be a good thing.

You can get unbleached organic tampons.

www.natracare.com/

^I will do, but at the moment she is ewww about using them anyway.
I'm not going to leave it too much later.Any suggestions how I tell her without scaring her to death?^

NewLife4Me I think she can go from eww to willing to try it fairly quickly if the need arose or she got caught out at a friend's house. Also, it's possibly she feels awkward talking about with you, because it goes inside?

If she's higher risk for TSS i'd probably just go ahead and be totally honest, if she feels it too much a risk and scares her that's fair enough. As long as she can judge it herself or at least know what to look for if she does use them. What about a mooncup, I think there is less risk of TSS with mooncups?

MattDillonsPants I agree tampons leave fibres, which is why I prefer a mooncup. I'm only using tampons for the moment as the mooncup is a little uncomfortable while I do a programme of pelvic floor exercises to reverse a potential prolapse.

But what I was trying to get at is that poster's DD should be making her own choices based on what suits her.

"People who put tampons/STs in in front of their kids also shouldn't be doing this"

Really?! Why on earth not?? My DD has grown up with me being totally open about bodily functions. She is 9 and totally relaxed about starting her periods which IMO is really important.

And - if she asks me to show her how to use a tampon by showing on myself - I will

To those who think an instruction booklet is enough -- I've heard some real horror stories about girls trying desperately to use tampons! So if some daughter has a mother willing to be open and demonstrate, then hopefully she won't have to got through some of that self-discovery trauma.

To the poster who mentioned sex (I didn't have a demonstration, but I can do it really well! ). Well, whoopee for you but the issue is that many people (boys especially) do get intensive 'how to do sex' training (i.e. pornography). Frankly, I'd rather have women talking to girls about what people actually do, rather than leaving it to porn!

The point about us old-fart second wavers and the whole speculum and mirror thing was many women had no idea about what their own vagina looked like -- it was for husbands and doctors, if anybody. Nowadays, the comparison seems to be with porn, if anything, hence the shockingly high interest in labiaplasty amongst relatively young women and girls.

Although we have the help of vagina cupcakes (despite the anatomical inaccuracy of the name) -- although some might find the incidence of piercings a little high. And since you can add tampon strings as well...............

There is also the Great Wall of Vagina (even though they're vulvas) and I think that C4 programme ... the name will come to me... had a picture gallery of the range of normal genitals.

Embarrassing Bodies.

See, I knew it would come to me the moment after I pressed post.

My mum said if I used tampons it meant I was no longer a virgin. I think if have preferred her to be more open about it all, she was actually quite awful tbh. I started at primary school and I was absolutely petrified to tell her as she hadn't even had the chat with me. She went about it all wrong really, but she hasn't been an awful mother :)

I have to deal with all my daughter's personal care (well and her dad does) because of her disability, including her periods. I think it's daft to be icky about it. It happens and it's normal.

If she's old enough to have periods she can. Ask questions and look st the diagrams. That's what I did with my 11 year old dds.

Totally pointless demonstrating on herself as it needs to be felt In the right place.

It's not like she can really insert it wrong is it?

If she feels it inside its not In far enough.

Me and my dds are very very close but sorry this is gross to me. Unnecessary.

Depends what you mean by 'wrong.' You can certainly insert it and it be uncomfortable. You need to get the angle right.

Yes of course but how the hell would demonstrating that on herself really help? You have to feel it to be right. If it's uncomfortable it needs a wiggle or in deeper. Even for 11 year olds it's not rocket science.

Dunno, I couldn't get it right for a couple of years of trying every sodding month but you're right a practical demonstration would not have helped. I doubt the mum did that though tbh.

It is funny how different we all are. My DM and DDad are certainly very proper and traditional in many ways, and are also now in their 70s, but I still see them naked regularly, when I go and visit. I often sit on their bed and chat, while they have showers and get dressed in the morning. My Ds, who is 11, sees me naked and I do not try to hide things. I do not parade around the house, but he knows that if he comes into our room or bathroom, then it is possible that I will be coming out of the shower and getting dressed, and he may see me or DH undressed. In DH's family, seeing each other naked would be terrible and would never happen

DS keeps his door closed when he showers or gets dressed, and we absolutely allow him that privacy. But I am trying to ensure he grows up without shame of his body. I am also doing my best to talk to him about sex and periods, etc... as I am the only woman in the house and I do not want him to be ignorant of these things. His Dad cannot talk about sex, they would both die, which I find so funny.

I started using tampons at 11 - I was a swimmer and I needed to get into the pool 3-5 times a week. I also remember a vacation in Tuscany, where I was not prepared to miss out on the swimming fun! I do remember me and another friend helping a third with putting her first tampon in. It was in the toilets at school and she could not figure it out. So while this situation is unusual, I do not find it that weird. And by the way, 10 year old girls are very prone to exaggeration! I know my friends and I certainly were!