To be shocked at Dd's friend's tampon experience

[EdithBouvierBeale]

DD is ten and her class just had the period chat at school. One little girl, whose mum is a GP, was shown how to insert a tampon. Her mother demonstrated on herself by lying on her bed while her 10 year old DD watched.

Trunk

I will do, but at the moment she is ewww about using them anyway.
I'm not going to leave it too much later.
Any suggestions how I tell her without scaring her to death?
I like to think that there's plenty of time and thought I'd covered all eventualities,
ie I'd tell her on a need to know basis, but you are right, I might not be aware enough for taking the time to post, it was way back in the thread.

I agree Ledkr

Ledkr I had the same thought. I said upthread that I think it's great to be able to talk openly about things, but I don't think a demonstration would be much help. I just went by the instructions the first time, as far as I remember, there was a leaflet in the box.

And once again, I will say that it is very important to respect boundaries. So a parent might be perfectly comfortable with nakedness etc, but to someone just reaching puberty, they may not be, and are entitled to have their own boundaries.

Disgusting!!!!!! My daughter has started her periods (she's 10)......towels are perfectly acceptable at that age.......tampons are NOT necessary

Any suggestions how I tell her without scaring her to death?

I'd probably start by asking if she's read the info leaflet in the box - pretty sure they mention TSS these days, at least Tampax ones. See what her level of awareness is and take it from there and maybe emphasise that it's rare if you follow good practice and change no more than 4 hours.

(I'm in my 40s - I dream of being able to go as long as 4 hours... Actually, I think I'd have been more terrified to hear about perimenopausal blood baths than TSS when I was younger.)

Lorraine 46, tampons probably are necessary for girls involved in things like competitive swimming, dance, gymnastics and similar sports involving close-fitting lycra and/or water. If you're at a competitive level, you can't just not train when you've got your period.

Why on earth would she be scared to death by being told that if you don't use something according to the instructions there's a very tiny risk of something horrible happening? Hasn't she been absorbing messages like that all her life?

"
Disgusting!!!!!! My daughter has started her periods (she's 10)......towels are perfectly acceptable at that age.......tampons are NOT necessary"

Why not? Does your daughter not swim or do ballet or gym? Why are thy not necessary when at 10?

tampons are NOT necessary

No but they may be preferable to towels. What's wrong with that?

Sanitary towels aren't really necessary - you could always use a handful of moss...........

Nothing is necessary but thankfully we have the choice.

disgusting

Lorraine joined specifically to post that little gem

Just to play Devils advocate my dd dances at a fairly high level takes class four times a week and does competitions and has done several professional shows. She can't get on with tampons at the moment but is fine with thin pads and close fitting knickers.
Tampons are much better but life doesn't need to stop just when you have a period.

Don't talk out of your arse Lorraine. What's the point of saying tampons are disgusting, when my dd was 11 she used them because she swims a lot and you can't have a soggy sanitary towel hanging out of your cossie at the County Championships.

If Lorraine's dd plays sport/goes swimming/does ballet/cycles (especially racing), I feel sorry for her. She'll now have a few days every month when she can't participate If she's not active in that way, I suppose sanitary towels would be ok.

However, it's already been explained multiple times why sanitary towels are not always suitable. Thankfully my mother was a bit more sympathetic and practical - even back in the early 70s - so I was able to continue to dance through my period.

I thought we'd moved on from such prudishness.

Lorraine 46, tampons probably are necessary for girls involved in things like competitive swimming, dance, gymnastics and similar sports involving close-fitting lycra and/or water. If you're at a competitive level, you can't just not train when you've got your period

I would always prefer cups.

As things are, I only use pads myself, because I just know I would forget to remove a cup or tampon, but since cups are much less risky, I would always prefer them to tampons.

Also, some tampons are more risky than others. I'd stick to those made of natural materials.
(I was very shocked to learn that there is no medical testing required for tampons. WTF?)

As for the initial post ... it is rather easy, if the girl wanted a demonstration, then it's okay, if she didn't want, then it is not. (I am not comfortable with the level of nudity my parents are comfortable with, so that is possible.)

I still don't get what part of a demonstration is necessary

1)They ask what position they should be in - you verbally tell them, or demonstrate with clothes on. A demonstration may not be useful as each woman has a different anatomy and preference - and adult women are very different from pubescent girl

2)They ask which hole it goes in - you show them a picture, describe where it is, get them to have a feel of their own anatomy. They don't need to look at your vulva

3)They ask you how far to push it up - you show them the instructions and describe what it feels like. They can't see what's going on internally, so what use is it to show them?

None of those questions is addressed by a demonstration by an adult woman.

And that's exactly what the mother might have done Narp.

Dame

Yes, I realise that. And I suspect you might be right.

But some people on this thread are saying they see nothing wrong with a demonstration that involved clothes off

They accepted the story at face value and thought it was OK

Oh dear

Oh dear what toffee crisp?

In defence of Lorraine not all 10 yr olds are comfortable with touching themselves and trying to use tampons.
I'm not sure of the medical facts but I would assume that some young girls, even though they have periods ( talking 9 -10 yr olds) may not have matured enough ( vaginally) to use a tampon. Even when I first used them around 14, I found them a tight fit and rather tricky to use at first.

In defence ofLorrainenot all 10 yr olds are comfortable with touching themselves and trying to use tampons.

That's true, but you managed to discuss it calmly without starting off with an expression of shock, so it doesn't come over as judgemental in the same way.