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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not make an appointment to view a house where there was a murder

125 replies

bewilderedfish · 27/04/2016 21:25

We've been looking to buy a house in a particular area for a while and today a lovely house has come up for sale on right move within our budget (it does seem cheap for what it is so I was very excited).
The interior pics look beautiful, it's been refurbished inside and ticks all the boxes for us. DH and I were excited to call the estate agent tomorrow to book a viewing and I idly did a Google search of the address just for fun.
My stomach sank when It became obvious it's the house where a woman was murdered in a horrible arson attack 10 years ago. I remembered it clearly when I read the news reports.
The woman died on the stairs after being disturbed by the fire. The house was badly damaged as petrol had been put through the letterbox and lit. It's obviously been completely remodelled but Its put me right off.
I immediately said no, I wouldn't be going to see it. I could never live there. Not for any price.
I wouldn't sleep at night for reliving that woman's last moments and I'd never feel happy there. DH thinks I'm being ridiculous and he's really disappointed.
Am I being stupid?

OP posts:
FoundNeverland · 27/04/2016 21:27

No. I wouldn't look at it either. There are other houses. Good luck with the search!

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 27/04/2016 21:28

I've seen these threads before, and personally I don't understand it, but that's my personal response.

A home has to be somewhere you're going to feel happy and comfortable, and if you won't, well then you won't :)

I do think it's a bit ghoulish to place so much emphasis on the last moments of the woman's life, but many others seem to agree with you so I am guessing I'm probably unusually clinical.

Notstayingup · 27/04/2016 21:29

It wouldn't stop me going to look and see how I feel about it when I am there, I always get a feeling one way or the other when I look at houses. Everyone is different though

Princesspeach1980 · 27/04/2016 21:29

I absolutely couldnt consider it. It would give me nightmares.

ChicRock · 27/04/2016 21:30

My initial thought was you are being ridiculous. But having thought about it some more, I don't think I could live there peacefully, no.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 27/04/2016 21:31

Personally I probably wouldn't have an issue. However, if you are having doubts now about it then no you're not being stupid. You would never be fully comfortable.

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/04/2016 21:31

It's cheap for a reason; the pool of prospective buyers is smaller. You aren't the only one.

AlpacaLypse · 27/04/2016 21:31

You can't unsee what you've seen, and clearly it's hit you like a ton of bricks. yanbu.

Hopefully a family will move in who will create happy memories to replace the sad ones.

Andrewofgg · 27/04/2016 21:31

When DW and I were house-hunting she would not look at a place where her cousin had been living when her son died (at home) at 22 months. I had not known the boy but of course I accepted the position; DW's family would never have visited us and she could never have been happy there.

But a stranger murdered there? That would not bother us.

EatsShitAndLeaves · 27/04/2016 21:32

Wouldn't bother me tbh.

Logically, given the number of people who have died you probably walk over a "grave" every day without knowing.

Or if you are a former king, you get parked on...

VocationalGoat · 27/04/2016 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TiggerPiggerPoohBumWee · 27/04/2016 21:32

I agree with him. It is ridiculous. People die anywhere and everywhere, what difference does it make a decade later?

Cass168 · 27/04/2016 21:32

If it helps, from a purely practical point of view, my mum nearly bought a house last year which had had a full refurb after a fire. Although it looked lovely, her surveyor said that houses which have suffered fire damage are prone to damp and other problems further down the line if they haven't been dried out / treated properly before redecoration.

CaptainCrunch · 27/04/2016 21:34

I think you're being melodramatic and a bit ridiculous and have started a ghoulish, attention seeking thread.

acasualobserver · 27/04/2016 21:34

No, I couldn't consider it either. Your husband is entitled to his view too and, rationally, I get where he's coming from. But both people need to be happy with a house, don't they?

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 27/04/2016 21:34

My friend at university lived on Cromwell Street, in Gloucester which was of course where Fred and Rose West murdered and buried many young girls' bodies.

I think it may have had a knock on effect on house prices!

Fourarmsv2 · 27/04/2016 21:36

We lived in a house once where someone had been murdered by their son. It was a council house that no-one else wanted. My mum had to redecorate before we could move in. I really admire her for doing that to get us a home.

Original poster
bewilderedfish · 27/04/2016 21:36

You selling the house Captain Crunch? Hmm

Well, the possible damp argument is enough for me anyway, so glad I'm not the only one who feels like this.

OP posts:
acasualobserver · 27/04/2016 21:38

The Wests' house was, of course, demolished.

TwentyCupsOfTea · 27/04/2016 21:41

I sort of see what you mean but I agree with your husband. It's not a rational way of thinking. Who knows what awful things may have halpened in any house! When you think about it, nearly every house/site of house will have been witness to an act of violence or murder over thousands of years! If it looks great at least go see it!

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 27/04/2016 21:43

Bewildered, although I wouldn't have put it as bluntly as CaptainCrunch did, I must confess I do struggle to understand these threads. The house I grew up in was built in 1701 and, as you'd expect from a house that age had an interesting and varied history.

The truth is that in nearly every home barring I suppose very new builds there will be sadness and evil and domestic violence and suicide and murder and death, but there will also be birth and happiness and joy and love. The evil doesn't come from the four walls that witnessed it but from the people responsible.

When you refuse to go near that, it completely misses the point that the house is not responsible and that does make it ghoulish, a bit like when people specially go to see murder scenes and - turns it into a bit of a twisted fairytale rather than accepting it for what it is which is something sad and strange but also part of the world we live in.

I posted earlier today about my own mums death. She died in our lounge but honestly - she lived in the house from 1978 to 1998 and the two months or so she was bedridden downstairs and very ill are very unimportant in the context of everything else :)

A person is so much more than how or where they died.

Palomb · 27/04/2016 21:43

It wouldn't bother me but we are all different and if it bothers you then don't buy the house :)

katemiddletonsnudeheels · 27/04/2016 21:44

It was acasualobserver, yes.

My friend walked me through where it was when I went to stay! So romantic! Grin

BlueFolly · 27/04/2016 21:44

I don't think walls or any inanimate objects have some kind of 'emotion memory' over and above what we place on them. However we all have out own personal preferences when it comes to property and If you don't fancy living there then don't. It seems odd to me that you're questioning yourself over this.

edwinbear · 27/04/2016 21:48

I think I would want to view it and see how I felt in situ. My grandad died in our family home and the house never 'felt' any different afterwards, but he died peacefully surrounded by family, which is a world away from the circumstances you've described.

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