Getting my boobs out

[wannabehippyandcrazycatlover]

I thought it was all a hoax about people making judgey comments about breastfeeding in public and that no one in their right mind would actually say anything...

Today I was unfortunately proved wrong, I was told by a gentleman that it was highly inappropriate for me to get my boob out and feed my baby in a cafe. I thought I was being quite discreet but obviously not in his opinion.

I was so shocked I couldn't say anything, I didn't think that this actually happened . Has anyone else experienced this? I'm quite upset about it (although won't stop me doing it in future) and can see why some women stop BF if they get comments like that on a regular basis.

I did have both boobs out to feed - but I did have twins and no, I couldn't always feed one and then the other. Which one would you leave screaming for 20mins? That said, I only did it when absolutely and utterly necessary.

I have no time whatsoever for women who champ at the bit waiting for protesters at their breastfeeding? What is that all about? Get on with it and stop waiting for an audience who really couldn't give a shit what you're doing. Are you waiting for applause as well as an argument? Grow UP!

If there are GENUINE cases of women being asked to stop, leave the premises or being made to feel in any way uncomfortable then these are the women deserving of sympathy and back-up - and I do, on both counts when I'm aware of it.

For the people who love to watch breastfeeding and 'congratulate' the mothers on doing so. One day you will run into a woman who doesn't want you to do that. She wants to get on with the job at hand without your patronising observance and banal 'supportive' comments. I found this very unsettling when I was breastfeeding. I didn't want anybody approaching me and I would have thought that another woman with a whit of common-sense would give another feeding mother a wide berth but no. Presumably because of the attention-seeking-look-at-me=the-wrong-way-and-I'll-have-you crew, this natural and unremarkable act drew attention. Please stop or at least check that the woman welcomes this unsolicited attention because I didn't.

I rather like the sight of a woman breastfeeding, because of the closeness of the bond between them at such times. And yes, bottlefeeding can be the same. I wouldn't go and comment on it, just because I'm generally a bit allergic about offering comments to strangers; but I probably do smile involuntarily at them, and I might even offer to fetch a drink if the mother seemed to be stuck.

But I think it's pretty aggressive to take offence just because someone says something nice to you, whether you're breastfeeding or carrying out any other activity with your child. It wouldn't have bothered me in the least if someone came and spoke to me in that way when I was feeding.

As a man the only thing that makes me feel uncomfortable having noticed a lady breast feeding is whether I managed to look away quick enough so the lady in question didn't think you were being voyeuristic.

Augusta... my experience has been of 'gawpers'. I'm never aggressive to anybody but really didn't enjoy being so observed. It's quite hard to be discreet sometimes and yes, I know I don't have to be but I like to be 'under the radar' and I'm self-conscious about the size of my breasts.

I wouldn't have a problem with somebody smiling, sorry to have been aggressive in my post, it's something that I feel quite strongly about.

I remember from one of the many threads here one poster said that her husband goes into some kind of trance when he sees a woman breastfeeding. She was quick to say how supportive he was. I felt utterly repulsed at the post and by her acceptance of his behaviour. I remember the poster but won't out her because she received quite a few negative responses to her post and may have regretted it.

It's weird because no one cares about people wearing low cut tops that show way more flesh. It's the idea that the breasts are being used to feed a baby - I can't really get my head around why some people are repulsed by that.

It is just cultural. There are places in the world where breastfeeding is so normal that no one bats an eyelid and people can feed babies anywhere and everywhere. Maybe they haven't over-sexualised breasts there

I breastfed my children unapologetically for a respectable 9 months each. Not as long as some people, however, it is long enough that my mother (who only breastfed for 1 day with my sister and I) comments that she thought "I thought they would be going to school still breastfeeding". I have to bite back telling her that I am sure some of the reason is jealousy because she only managed a day.

It depends where you live I guess. Where I live most people are breastfeeders. One mile down the road and it is bottle feeding city.

In some ways I think even these threads can be quite damaging (and comments sections on newspapers and radio discussions on BF. Many pregnant women come on here or other similar talk shops and then know it is not their imagination that some people have a problem with breastfeeding and this feeds into their discomfort if it is there and lowers the likelihood of them BF. BF is still a bit taboo and often shamed even on occasion on here. It is mad.

I breastfed twins and when out had one on the boob and one on the bottle all I ever got was lovely comments. Never offered water though, probably realised I didn't have enough hands as it was. A friend was asked to leave John Lewis cafe but the lady did point out that they had feeding rooms on each floor. Went to a mother care feeding room once, it wasn't nice but smelly and dirty I would rather sit on a bench somewhere.

I BF 3 DC's with only one adverse comment, from a young male waiter in Pizza Hut. he asked me to BF in the toilet so that I didn't offend anyone.

serin- in Scotland that is a criminal offence.
Both the waiter and his employer could be prosecuted.

Philosothy did you walk around shopping centres like that or did you do a transition coupled with boob flash. Don't get me wrong I have been as baby brained as the next but letting it all hang out is pretty challenging.

I don't think I have ever wandered around with both boobs out although I have fed whilst waking around a store plenty of times. I have been sat in a cafe and forgotten to put one boob away before starting on the next. I also sometimes forget to put my bra away if using a breastfeeding too with flaps. I suspect I have wandered around with my bra on show

For me, one of the worst thing about breastfeeding in public was all the women who wanted to sidled up to me and justify why they didn't breastfeed.

I didn't bf in public to shame people but just to feed my babies but it felt like it sometimes.

I have wandered around a supermarket with a breast out. I thought baby was attached and feeding, but she had popped off and fallen asleep without me noticing, leaving me baring my breast around the produce aisles.

Sometimes for many reasons breastfeeding is not "discreet". Thankfully it not a legal requirement to be discreet.

I have found breastfeeding to be a hugely empowering experience and at risk of sounding a bit mad , bonding with other women. I have had so many chats about shared memories and experiences. I have probably had my last child and find it sad to think that my breastfeeding journey will soon be over

have wandered around a supermarket with a breast out. I thought baby was attached and feeding, but she had popped off and fallen asleep without me noticing, leaving me baring my breast around the produce aisles.

Now I think about it I have done that in IKEA and probably elsewhere!

Sure it is probably the done thing in IKEA. That doesn't count at all

There is breast feeding and there is breast feeding. I doubt anyone would have a problem with women breast feeding in public if it is done discreetly. When it's done discreetly, it's much more classy then whacking your boob out - just because you can!

I've been in company with women who have been breastfeeding their baby with a beautiful throw over their shoulder for some privacy and then I've also been on a bus where a woman, obviously, wanted to prove she could breast feed, sitting at the front of the bus, on a side seat (when there were plenty other available) so that she could display her "rights" to public breastfeeding. It was tacky in the extreme and the whole of the bus felt great discomfort because of her performance. I wonder what kind of virtues that woman is going to pass on to her child.

This thread however proves that a lot of women, sadly, want to prove something. They are allowed "by law" (yawn) to breast feed and by God they are going to; classy or not.

I fear for the next generation of women who feel they have to prove themselves even more. What next is to come?

Free the nipple.

"There is breast feeding and there is breast feeding."

No there is only one type of breastfeeding.

Not all breastfeeding is "discreet"- there may be many reasons that breasts are on show. Some women may choose to use a shawl, some women may want to use a baby feeding room.
This is the varied face of breastfeeding.

"I fear for the next generation of women who feel they have to prove themselves even more. What next is to come?"

Who knows, maybe they will allow women to vote.

FrikkaDilla You know what? I was on the tube about a year ago and some woman literally pulled up her top up just below her collarbone, unhooked her bra from the middle, picked up the baby from the pram topless and got on with it. She slightly pulled down the other end of her top but it didn't make much difference. I was bored and found it to be a yawn moment but I completely understood the discomfort of everyone else. It did seem like a performance. Theres nothing sexual about "public breast feeding" (I resent the term. It's just breastfeeding. There's no such term as public eating etc) and I encourage women to do it however lets not pretend extra boobage and a lack of discretion may make others feel uncomfortable. They should zip it though.

There's nothing in the law that says breastfeeding is allowed only because it's discreet. And I absolutely don't believe that the woman you saw, FrikkaDilla, was doing anything other than simply feeding her child. People can sit where they like on buses, and they sit in the side seats for all sorts of reasons, e.g. to look out of the windows on the other side. Or do you think that people who sit ostentatiously in the side seats reading are doing so in order to demonstrate their right to read? There is nothing tacky about a child feeding, ever.

And how exactly do you know how "the whole of the bus" felt? Did you ask every passenger, plus the driver?

*may not

I actually thought these types of idiots only expressed their disgust when on the internet. What a horrible prick