To be concerned about my intelligent child at school

[Moomoomango]

This is not a boasting post before I get accused! I am struggling with his intelligence not basking in parental glory!

My son is 4 and due to start school in September. He started talking at 8 months, and has never stopped. He is intelligent and head strong, the last 2 days he started to ask about house numbers - within about 10 minutes he had learnt how to recognise numbers up to 100. I've never tried to teach him more than 10 but I was amazed how quickly he absorbed the information. He is really into science and loves discussing ideas such as gravity, electricity, marine life (a particular passion). He loves doing experiments and will quite often talk about gasses such as carbon dioxide. He loves to dissect fish (one of his fave things to do is buy a fish at fish counter) or garden insects to inspect their insides etc. He will quite confidently explain the anatomy of a fish. I am by no means a pushy parent I just answer his questions and follow his lead.

He is thoroughly bored at pre school, the activities as much more directed at younger children, I feel. I went in today and he was just sat twiddling an abacus. He tells me it's boring and he hates it. Pre school say hes withdrawn and not engaged.

I was speaking to a ta friend of mine who said foundation is basically an extension of pre school, lots of play etc. I'm really worried he will become withdrawn from school if it's not stimulating him. I want him to enjoy school and feel happy and confident. Aibu to be concerned? Is foundation very basic in terms of learning? Or will they support very intelligent children? I'm purposefully holding him back from learning to read so that school can inspire him in that way but to be honest he's so close it's painful!

I just want my child to be supported to be who he is.

Squizi and you have missed my point too.

Parents of a bright child are who they are. My parents weren't sporty type at all and never ever encouraged me to practice any sport at all. No one ever talked about sports at home. But they both like more 'academic' pursuits (think concert and museums and talking about ethics and politics and philosophy). As a result, of course, I have become much more comfortable in academic areas not because I have been hot housed (I didn't need to. Somehow the system I was in provided me with enough interesting things to do and challenges that they didn't need to. I was bright too). What they did was sharing what was their interest. What they didn't do is sharing thinsg they didn't care about or didn't know about. :ike any other parent really.

What you are talking about is different. It's what would a parent do who knows little about being bright, don't have the curiosity to learn more about it (see the link between curiosity and being bright too). They have no experience, can't relate to the child, can't stand to their scrutiny and haven't learnt what could be the 'best' way to deal with it. So they tend to fuck it up out of lack of knowledge. That's harsh, I fully agree with you.

cory yep, intervention is key.
The problem is whether it is possible yo get any intervention at all.

I've had the 'luck' to experience what happens in schools around me both with a child who struggled (and struggles) socially, and communication wise (and language wise) and the experience with a bright child.
I am yet to see any intervention of any sort of either of them.

I haven't seen any intervention for children with social issues with any of my friends either (not even the two who have dcs who are officially diagnosed on the autistic spectrum)

gruffalo I agree it's hard.

Get help now!
I have had the same problems with my son and now at 16 he is totally dis-interested with school. The problem with our education system it is one size fits all i.e. equally unsuitable for everyone.
My DS was never very sociable and wanted to learn but had to do what everyone else was doing. He has very few friends because he is on a completely different wave length to his peers. Gifted and Talented - does not exist!!! The last time I went to his secondary school was told as long he's getting above a C grade there is nothing we can do we must concentrate on those not performing!!!
I tried many different things, visited school, visited GP and got no-where. I wish I had sent him to private school but at the start of his secondary school we could not afford to.

I'm just hoping he can get through his GCSEs and then we see what he wants to do next year.

I have a gifted child about to receive an ed psych assessment at 12.
At present they aren't ruling anything out and we have an older grown up ds with Aspergers.

She has always had friends and they were very supportive of her talent. They were never mean and encouraged her. She's never had a best friend but happy to float between all groups and is popular, was voted person to rep her year at school.

however, I'll never forget her first phone calls that were full of positive comments about how she didn't feel weird or a freak anymore and if she was a freak that was ok because her friends are too. People who were into the same thing, how easy it was to make friends and how they loved working together.
Being with like minded people is absolutely essential if you are able to find this.

I know it's much harder if they are gifted academically and think it's a shame there aren't more schools in all areas for them to attend.
However, as somebody who made the move to a specialist school there are no regrets.

What you are talking about is different. It's what would a parent do who knows little about being bright, don't have the curiosity to learn more about it (see the link between curiosity and being bright too). They have no experience, can't relate to the child, can't stand to their scrutiny and haven't learnt what could be the 'best' way to deal with it.

Or they have a lot of experience with what society expects for a very bright child. They are very intelligent, but themselves went through 'grade factories' so see only the currency of grades and 'middle class' stuff in relation to ability.

Actually an unintelligent parent might deal with it better than one on the fringes of the 'G&T' end of things who did very happily out of the academic route.

I didn't say my parent wasn't bright or curious - just not unusually talented in some areas as I was.
They wanted to do precisely what society has conditioned people to think is what one does with intelligence: go to grammar/private school, get straight As, go to university (preferably STEM), work in medicine/law/civil service/the city.

...actually that's unfair.
The parent in question was extremely bright in terms of something deemed useless in that sphere - music.

The last time I went to his secondary school was told as long he's getting above a C grade there is nothing we can do we must concentrate on those not performing!!

That is not the case. Progress 8 is in place now: this measures progress from Y7 entry to GCSE regardless of ability - we have a LOT of kids (tutored for KS2 tests, or just lucky aged 11) who now have targets that terrify them as a result. If he came in on a 4B or higher a C grade would absolutely not be deemed suitable by the local authority, league tables or OFSTED.

I would go higher than his class teacher with that comment if I were you. It's a dangerous error.