Parents who just won't leave their kid a bloody lone

[JackandDiane]

Please stop micro managing your teens life. Packing their bags. Interfering when they're with their pals. Fussing. Repeating yourself in boringly petty instructions.

breathe

Mishmash, if you make all his phone calls for him, then you are effecrively doing what you are criticising his parents for.

Get him to write bullet points before he makes calls, so he has a 'script'. Ask him to anticipate what questions a drs receptionist might ask if he is booking an appt. I know that strictly speaking ypu shouldn't have to do this but it will hrlp him and mean that you don't have to do this forever.

NNalreadyinuse, that's a fab idea! I'll need to use that. He's got a few telephone interviews for jobs coming up so hopefully they will at least be practice.

Oh be quiet, Squeak. Not every 18/19 year old wants or needs their parents to go with them to uni open days. It would've been daft for me to go with DD, for example. When they're 19, they're adults - I was running a household at that age (unusual I admit, but a fact nonetheless). At least they should be if you've brought them up in a loving, responsible way which has taught them to fend for themselves. That's kind of your job as a parent.Me and DD are exceptionally close, but we know when we need to give each other space. She doesn't 'need' me at a uni open day any more than she needs me at a dentist appointment.

Tbh, I'd be far more 'ashamed' if I'd raised a mollycoddled hobbledehoy than if I'd brought up a confident, loving but independent young woman.

'Hobbledehoy' is an underused word. On the basis of this (and because I am in accord with her position, but mostly the former) I agree with PennyDreadful

Very prescient - the pathetically babied ex I previously posted about dropped DC back yesterday with an apology because "my mum forgot to put her hat in, sorry"

your MUM??? You're FORTY FUCKING NINE for God's sake!!!!

As a lecturer I wonder if we are not guilty of some of the same things parents are accused of on this thread:

we write fool-proof handbooks for any minor aspect of the course

we explain the handbook in our lectures, just in case they haven't got round to reading it

then we explain it in seminars, just in case they weren't listening in the lecture

and then, when they email us in a 2 hours before the submission deadline we patiently answer their emails

(and yes, they will still write in the evaluation questionnaire that they would have liked more information about the course)

As far as I can see we do it for exactly the same reasons:

we are tired, overworked, pushed to do ever increasing hours and stepping in quickly is so much easier than guiding somebody through the lengthy process of doing it themselves

as above - and sorting out a short term problem seems so much easier than risking it developing into a long term problem which will take far more time that we haven't got

we live in a competitive unforgiving society where nobody is supposed to fail or even struggle, so we fear for our young people

Good point corythatwas and you can also take it back further, to school.

My exam classes are just about on study leave now and the last few weeks has been frantically trying to address issues with each child which have the potential to affect exam results - weaknesses identified, extra support given, tuition classes, after school clinics..... To benefit the students, yes, but also done as a massive ass covering exercise because if they don't meet expectations, MY department, MY job and MY pay rise are on the line.

In the event that they don't receive good marks, both the parents and my own management team will be enquiring as to what more I could have done to help them.... Of course the student wi the poor grades is gone - no comeback or reduced income for them!

Well to be fair, the massive come-back is for the student with the poor grade: if we are afraid of not getting a pay rise, they are the ones that are afraid of not getting a job in the first place. And I do hope that my main motivation is for the students whose lives I would like to see pan out.

To be fair I think train fares are a major aspect in parents attending open days.Thinking about DS2 who is going through Y13 now.The cost of train fares to go to evenl the unis he applied to would be about £500.
Some places you literally can not get there and back in a day, so then you are adding on accommodation costs and more meals.vParents driving their kids there is much much more affordable

I only went to two uni open days - for one my dad took me part of the way and his work colleague took me the rest, and then brought me back to a meeting point with my dad the next day (I stayed in uni accommodation overnight). Same happened at interview stage.

For the other one both my parents went with me but they went shopping/sightseeing while I was at the actual university.

There's a world of difference between driving your kid and going in with them.

My mum drove me to one of mine as she wanted to visit a friend in the city. She dropped me and picked me up later. I don't recall any discussion at all about her coming in to the uni with me.

Yes, but then again I can't see anything very dreadful about taking your parent rather than a friend- in the same spirit that I took my PILs house-hunting. It was a practical useful thing to do and a fun day out.