Scouts Parade v family life

[ParadiseCity]

My 11 yo is in scouts and tomorrow there is a St Georges parade through town. His leader told them all 'it's compulsory and you can't be excused unless you are dead or dying'. However, DS is reluctant and I just don't have the inclination to jolly him into it. I'm glad he does scouts but at that age I was a guide and remember how embarrassing the public parades were. I'm normally ultra supportive of all their activities and think that when you have committed to something you stick with it etc. But he committed to Tuesday evenings down the road not a Sunday afternoon in town. I work full time, juggle a lot of stuff (as we all do), and just for once I CANNOT BE ARSED. AIBU and should I woman up and make him go?

I am a Guide leader and I don't quite get St George's Day parades so the closest analogies I understand are Remembrance and Church Parades. Our group doesn't do the latter but have been invited to and made an effort to go to the former. I actually do so to the detriment of my own family life because our DCs are too small for my DH to manage them both at church (and one has to go to Sunday School with a parent while the other is too young for Sunday School) meaning that he more or less has to stay home with them.

I would completely and utterly respect the right of any parent who had a prior commitment or a religious objection not to send their child to the Remembrance service or anything with a religious element. Religious services are not part of the Guiding programme and we are invited, not obliged to attend.

Scouting is also a non-denominational movement and if our DS joins Beavers and the parade clashes with church or is of a religious nature that we disagree with (this includes having something of a solely Christian nature that makes non-Christians feel uncomfortable - our Remembrance is mainly but not only Christian and isn't in a church, so our Muslim and atheist girls have coped OK).

Likewise unless the parade services are in our church he won't be going, because we go to our church on a Sunday morning. I won't have parade regularly with our Guides for the same reason as I'm only borderline happy with Remembrance - if it's excluding any of my girls, it's not a suitable activity for Guides.

We've had big celebratory events for Guiding and if the parade is like this (awards, fun music, performances) great stuff. If it's a semi-military walk round town in the cold followed by a completely Christian service in a church, what is the point? Both Guides and Scouts are youth movements and this kind of event should celebrate the young people, which means they should be accessible to them.

Lynda maybe something like a martial art would suit him better? I'm not sure if he has a physical disability or general clumsiness or whatever, but I'm sure there would be one to suit. That's a good thing for self esteem but isn't team based and still has the rewards system (belts) that kept my DS interested. He's not a team sport type either.

"he PP who moaned about someone saying they didnt have room in their car for a tent. Well maybe they had another journey to take afterwards. Maybe they were were doing a favor for the school orcbestra and were on Tuba duty that week. Maybe they were paying it Sideways?"

Wouldn't most people have have said "Really sorry', I need very inch of space for the tubas iI'm picking up in 10 minutes?"

Like the woman who explained to our troop leader that she couldn't help with bringing the boats in because she came straight from work and wasn't wearing the right clothes. Perfectly fine. There will be lots of good reasons. But not everyone will have an excellent reason for not lending a hand occasionally.

Santa my brownie unit is mainly subs but the yearly census paid direct to HQ in London is often paid by one of my leader's workplace donation to her volunteering. We need to set up gift aid as we have our own charity number as all Scottish units do.

Tawny Owl does the accounts, I as leader in charge do all the admin, so that is register, keeping all up to date info for all brownies, consent forms for outings, home contact sheets for said outings in case of an emergency, risk assessments, organising trips, going to the bank to pay cheques in, ordering all the stuff we need.

Last week I took a 90 minute walk round our area to do a photo hunt, then made it in to a work sheet, did the risk assessment. Printed out the work sheet. Popped to our local trust to pick up maps of the area going back to the 1700's. Printed a google map of the local area, then laminated it all!

I'm trying to delegate to the other leaders who have little responsibility now.

Dd has been going to guides for s couple of years, the newsletters come out with dates and activities on. There's been no mention of values being instilled. Marches are optional its all very laid back, almost, in fact I'd go so far as to say the same, as a youth club

It may seem laid back, but if it's anything like Scouts/Cubs (and I'm sure it is) there will be a huge amount of effort going on in the background to ensure the programme they follow is more than about just entertainment. For Cubs we have to plan our meetings and activities to help the cubs achieve their badges and awards.. The badges and awards have been designed to ensure that a wide range of skills and activities are covered, including some such as investigating environmental issues, global issues, knowledge of the local area, first aid, computer skills, faiths etc as well as the more traditional things like camping, knots and crafts! We also regularly talk to our cubs about the idea of friendship, kindness, trying their best, respect etc.

We try to ensure, and we hope, that our cubs are learning about these values through the activities they are doing, both in meetings and at weekend events, including twice yearly church parades. Its a shame that parents don't always realise this, perhaps we should make this more clear (although the website does talk about this), but it's going on, even if its not particularly apparent.

Santa - in my brownie unit all the money comes from the subs.

The girls pay £75 a year. Out of that £10 goes to rent, and and approx £25 to national organisation for insurance etc etc.

That leaves me £40 a year to play with.

Badges cost 50p - £1.50 each.

All craft materials have to be bought etc etc.

There would be no money to pay staff. Especially if you had to pay for hours worked, rather than the actual duration of brownies.

Just to add to the general milieu. I am an atheist, I categorically do not believe in God. I come from a Jewish background. I several times a year commit to going to church when the brownies are invited to give them the opportunity. Last time of my 30 girls I had 6 emails to say they couldnt make it, were at another church etc etc. Fine. What I really object to is the 24 who just didnt turn up, leaving me there on my own. I have plenty of better things to do on a Sunday morning

It may seem laid back, but if it's anything like Scouts/Cubs (and I'm sure it is) there will be a huge amount of effort going on in the background to ensure the programme they follow is more than about just entertainment.

For the majority of groups this is the case. There is the odd group that is much more of a youth club, often run by an inexperienced, unsupported leader.

Girls also bring home or are asked to buy materials either made by leaders/themselves or published by GirlGuiding which mention the values. Again, the odd badly-run group will not do this sort of activity or use GG materials.

Guide law and promise

Scout law and promise

They make these promises when they are 'invested' - it is given to them in the little booklet. Both with a clear steer on values and loyalty etc.

Obviously different groups interpret the values and promise in different ways but I have never come across a general Youth Club that asks members to make a public promise on joining!

Brownies and Rainbows are given a booklet with the promise in but the Guide file has been OOP for quite some time now (highly irritating), but we'd be teaching/talking about it in Guides too.

It's called "making your promise" in Guiding and you are a member whether you've made it or not BUT one of important features of Guiding is "Commitment to a common standard".

Or Blu as ds calls it 'being infested'

Better than being infected I suppose!

I didn't really...I was dropping my son off and getting off to work...convo went like this:
Walk in the door...
DM: "Did H (dh) tell you?"
Me: "Tell me what?"
DM: "What, you mean he didn't tell you?"
Me: "I don't know what you're talking about?"
DM: Sadly "oh I just thought he'd tell you I'd been to the hospital because I hurt my foot, dad told him when we saw him."
Me: "Erm, I don't know, he was busy with the kids etc etc"
DM: "I just thought he might be a bit concerned or something, but apparently not as he didn't even mention it to you."
Dad: "Hmph, eyebrow raise, head shake, exasperated look"
Me: "I'm sure he was concerned, but he bumped into a lot of people, was chasing the kids around the supermarket and probably just assumed I already knew."
Me: "So what happened, I know you hurt it last week, is it ok etc etc"
DM: "No this is different, I did it on XYZ, they x rayed and said it is fine."
Lots of sighs and sad smiles.

If you made it through that turgid screenplay well done!

Sorry, wrong thread!