Scouts Parade v family life

[ParadiseCity]

My 11 yo is in scouts and tomorrow there is a St Georges parade through town. His leader told them all 'it's compulsory and you can't be excused unless you are dead or dying'. However, DS is reluctant and I just don't have the inclination to jolly him into it. I'm glad he does scouts but at that age I was a guide and remember how embarrassing the public parades were. I'm normally ultra supportive of all their activities and think that when you have committed to something you stick with it etc. But he committed to Tuesday evenings down the road not a Sunday afternoon in town. I work full time, juggle a lot of stuff (as we all do), and just for once I CANNOT BE ARSED. AIBU and should I woman up and make him go?

My son is is Cubs now, having not long moved up from beavers. My other son has just started at beavers. At no point have any of the leaders given the impression that the St George's Day parade is obligatory or - that it is the one commitment that we make above all others. I appreciate the different groups may place differing amounts of emphasis on it. It's just very bizarre reading this thread and finding it so militantly endorsed ie do it or leave scouting isn't for you. In fact, I had no idea that St George was the patron saint of scouting until I went along for DS2's first session the other day. So it's not Bear Gryls then...

Anyway, we participate fully, we volunteer etc etc and don't only attend the fun things. If the leaders had told us it was mandory to attend a church based activities I think that would have given us pause for thought but they haven't. It's always been optional and with the demographic that our group covers I doubt they would stipulate it as mandatory.

I'm certainly going to show our scout leaders this thread. It'll go sone way to explain why, despite repeated requests, nobody ever helps put the dinghies and kayaks away every Friday night from April to September....

? I don't think anyone has said that they are unwilling to help out at scout activities on this thread have they?

I'm perfectly happy to help out with dingies and kayaks - though why you are doing that every week for 5 months I'm not sure - is this for the sea scouts? I'm just not keen on pointless parading about for a saint when I'm an atheist.

If it was my child & a regular Tuesday commitment clashed with a regular Sunday commitment the original regular commitment on the Sunday would take priority over the Tuesday one

I'm a cub leader, parades aren't compulsory in our scout group, and I totally get that some children have previous commitments. And that's fine.

BUT, do you also prioritise those other commitments over the 'fun' Sunday activities? Our pack has a few weekend activities during the year -weekend camp, cub activity fun day, water activity day, swimming gala, football tournament etc. it's amazing how many who have previous commitments for twice yearly church parade don't have the same commitments when these activities are available,

I went to Brownies and then Scouts and our leaders would have been disappointed if nwe hadn't attended those two events. Of course it isn't compulsory but I do judge people who don't send their children to them and only to the fun bits! Think about what you're showing you child by allowing them to skip it.

One year I remember really wanting to miss it. It was raining and I didnt want my nom-Scouting friends to see me on parade. No way my parents would have allowed that though.

It's a little sad that some people who send their children to Scouts understand so little about it. It is a youth club with uniforms but a youth club that can have an enormous beneficial effect on its members that'll set them in good stead for the rest of their lives. Things like a sense of duty and an appreciation of others are learnt by doing things like this parade. Not every aspect of Scouts was fun. I still remember skinning rabbits on camp, car washes, litter picks and the 15 mile night hike where it rained from dusk to dawn, but it all taught me valuable lessons.

The most interesting part of your post was assuming all Scouts are Tories and treating that as an insult. Do tell me more.

That's a pretty unpleasant response to someone clearly distressed funniest.

I tend to agree with Brokengirl's sentiments tbh.

Hope that you're okay Broken and so sorry that this happened to you.

Very glad my children aren't involved in this shit tbh.

rosebud

"Very glad my children aren't involved in this shit tbh."

What's this "shit" you speak of?

"So fuck the tiny minded TOry fucktward twunts, they treat tiny children like shit"

Is this the sentiment you agree with?

The type of shit described by broken and others on this thread where Brown Owl can accuse a child for example of stealing a mini chocolate egg and use this as a basis to expel a whole family.

I also can't abide the narrow minded nationalism, which is why I don't and won't get involved with it all.

Or, to offer an alternative experience; a scout troupe that gave my son, who was so desperately unhappy at school that he was saying he wanted to kill himself, friendship, support and his confidence back.

Explain the narrow minded nationalism you speak of? If you're referring to St George's day parading then that is neither nationalistic nor narrow minded; St G. is the patron saint of Scouting world wide.

I don't think broken1girl's rant sounds especially credible.

Brokengirl sounds very distressed.

Sounds perfectly credible to me.

There are enough examples of narrow minded nationalism on the thread without me needing to reference them all.

Op, your reasons for not going are valid. You're busy, overtired, have other commitments and want a break from running round like a blue arsed fly.

I don't think you'll be damaging your child's life outcomes if you take him to his other commitment then take him home for lunch.

Scouting is not a political organisation but it does have an ethos, I believe in its ethos, if you do not agree with it then do not sign up for it. Specific incidents involving scouts and guides that do not fit in with its ethos incidents show issues with an individual pack not the movement.

Scouting and guiding is over 100 years old when children are enrolled or invested it is clear what they are agreeing to. I think that when you find whole families that are involved generation upon generation it says a lot about how highly the organisation is regarded.

I am not a Tory and am also agnostic (probably aethiast actually). My kids do Scouts/Brownies. I did hesitate about sending them (my lefty aethiast parents wouldn't let me do Brownies) but then realised it's not about that at all and the kids get a huge amount from it. We make the effort to get to the Remembrance and St George's, the other parades not so much. We actually missed St George's last year as it clashed with big birthday lunch for my mum (who would've been very unimpressed!) involving extended family so would've been too much of a faff to fit around parade. They do have to accept that people have busy lives and commitments so can't always make parades. Cba is not an adequate excuse though so I think you should make the effort!

What happens if you don't attend? Would your son get thrown out? I'd say generally two thirds of our groups attend the big two parades, far less for the other ones (THREE scouts attended mother's day service). Nothing is ever said. However, the leaders give up their time for free so you should support them when you can....

My ds has recently moved up to Cubs from Beavers, when we received the letter relating to the parade we had to return the slip to confirm attendance, so not compulsory. That said there is only one boy who is not attending due to a family party.

I do however think it's important for children to understand the important of commitment when joined up to clubs/activities, whatever they may be. This enables them to take on the responsibility for themselves rather than you having to impose your will.

My dc decide which clubs/activities they want to do and I will to my best to facilitate this. They can stop any of them (with the exception of swimming) if they feel they want to but I do expect them to commit fully.

Oh Broken

We're not going. If they really wanted to make it an inclusive event they should have:

1. Not charged a fee.

1. Held it in an easily accessible location that people could reach by public transport by 9am on a Sunday (no way to do this at all).

I do usually support events, and help out with some, but whoever organised this one was a fool.

My point earlier was not that the kids shouldn't parade, show up, be responsible ... But that Scouts leaders saying it is a three-line whip, compulsory, required etc. are being totally disrespectful to other groups that also run on the same day (which may also be run by just-as-dedicated adult volunteers).

Saying that kids should leave Scouts if they have conflicting responsibilities is just petty, and I assume Scouts HQ would not want to be represented that way.

Misnomer Bear Grylls is the Chief Scout not the patron Saint of Scouting.

Broken I hope you are ok and have some help irl.

Budgie - yes I would.

I've lost count over the years of how many fun activities my children (especially dd) has missed in order not to miss something they committed to.

We even missed a family wedding as it clashed with a compulsory rehearsal week for a theatre show she had committed to months before the invitation came.