Scouts Parade v family life

[ParadiseCity]

My 11 yo is in scouts and tomorrow there is a St Georges parade through town. His leader told them all 'it's compulsory and you can't be excused unless you are dead or dying'. However, DS is reluctant and I just don't have the inclination to jolly him into it. I'm glad he does scouts but at that age I was a guide and remember how embarrassing the public parades were. I'm normally ultra supportive of all their activities and think that when you have committed to something you stick with it etc. But he committed to Tuesday evenings down the road not a Sunday afternoon in town. I work full time, juggle a lot of stuff (as we all do), and just for once I CANNOT BE ARSED. AIBU and should I woman up and make him go?

"Saying that kids should leave Scouts if they have conflicting responsibilities is just petty"

I thought people were saying that you shouldn't get involved in Scouts in the first place if you can't be arsed to show a bit of commitment, not that you should be thrown out if you have a clash of responsibilities...........

OneMagnum. Yes, Sea Scouts. And no, despite many requests, we practically never get any parents helping. They sit in their cars studiously avoiding catching anyone's eye and zoom off the minute their kids are dismissed, leaving the leaders with another hours work.........

Who charged a fee to attend/take part in a St Georges Day parade?

*Budgie - yes I would.

I've lost count over the years of how many fun activities my children (especially dd) has missed in order not to miss something they committed to*

That's good, but I assure you there are plenty who would not! I know from experience.

Saying that kids should leave Scouts if they have conflicting responsibilities is just petty

I don't think many would say this. And our Scout Group would never ask a child to leave because they missed a parade.

But if there are limited spaces on an activity, we do sometimes offer first refusal to those who attended the previous church parade. Only seems fair.

No Bertrand, PP were definitely saying 'quit'.

Doingthebestican - I know he isn't the patron saint, it was a joke. Although I genuinely didn't know that there was a specific connection between scouting and St George.

Anyway, as I said before, it's clearly not mandory across all groups so saying that people should either turn up or scouting is not for them is unwarranted.

DS1 would have loved sea scouts. Couldnt you just make it part of sign up that parents commit to an occasional week of clear up and issue a rota? Seeing them sitting in the car would hack me off. Or id just say that no-one gets dismissed until its all done so either the kids get less activity time or parents chip in.

Haven't read the whole thread, just skimmed - as I'm off to walk the dog before we go off on our parade.

My docs can be very selfish little brats sometimes.
My dd is in Cubs. My dd in Scouts. They're both going. No, they're not bowled over with excitement, but this year so far they have done nighttime treasure hunts, made rockets, had talents shows - coming up we have Dragon boat racing, outdoor cinema, fencing, climbing, camping to name a few. Our Cubs and Scours are a massive part of our community and we need to respect it and be a part of it.

The only parades I absolutely insist on are St Georges and Remembrance Day. When ds was a Beaver, we turned up and he got to hold the flag. The look of pride on his face was priceless.

We're atheists. We will sit in the church today and listen. We still won't believe but it's all about respect for us.

I think that if you or your dc already have a prior commitment then fair enough, but I would encourage attendance otherwise. DD will be parading today. She's not overly ecstatic about it but given that she'd only be slobbing about the house otherwise, she has to go. I'm not religious or ever been into scouting myself, I just think that she should take on the whole thing if she's going to do it at a
To be honest if anything stops her guiding it will be that godawful new uniform rather than the thought of parading.

I agree harryhausen

(I'm also an atheist)

But he committed to Tuesday evenings down the road not a Sunday afternoon in town. I work full time, juggle a lot of stuff (as we all do), and just for once I CANNOT BE ARSED. AIBU and should I woman up and make him go?

OP, you need to ask yourself, would you make the effort for a fun activity, or would you still feel that Scouts is for Tuesday nights only? That'll give you the answer is to what you should do!

I'm busy too. I have other things going on today. I have three kids, who have to be in three different places. But I'm a cub leader, so I've managed to arrange the day so I can go, whether I can be arsed or not. I would hope that the parents of our cubs would get their children to parade if they possibly can (I appreciated sometimes they just can't).

It's a small sacrifice to make. Your son will probably enjoy seeing his friends on a Sunday, and it will make the leaders feel valued and listened to.

I'm sure parents will be invited to stop to watch, so it could count as part of 'family life'.

Another republican atheist agreeing.

Mind you, the sense of relief at not doing a St George's Day parade for the first time in 14 years is wonderful

Hang in there- the first 14 years is the worst!

I love it when people who volunteer moan about other people not volunteering. One of my favorite bits of mumsnet.
Also, its quite clear that there is no overiding ethos to modern day scouting/guides whatever as so many here say their groups do not run on this 'signing up to a commitment' BS. Pretending there is only suits those who believe their commitment makes them better people/scouts than those who take it as good, cheap local FUN.

OH, and if my kids ever sign up to scouts/beavers and their group leader refared to them as 'Their Boys' id find it a bit creepy and correct them that our boys are part of a group, and if they belong to anything thay belong to the group not the leader if the group. Weird.

It is volunteers who make it cheap.

Don't these things run on a 'pay it back' or 'pay it forward' understanding? Of course it is OK not to do any volunteering, or to defer your contribution to another time on your life, but it does seem fair enough to me to give some respect to those who provide good cheap local fun by contributing where possible - whether that be by baking stuff for a sale, helping put dinghies away or supporting the parades if no ethical objections, and available.

So, so many people on MN comment (moan, or rage...) that their teens are selfish, thoughtless and inconsiderate within the home. I honestly think that DS's 'muck in, see a problem and help out' team spirit at home comes partly from being in Scouts. He enjoys being an active part of the household, too.

How many posts before I am labelelled 'smug' and pompous' for that?

DoE award requires them to do volunteering.

I think the next post is usually "volunteers only do it to feed their egos" or something like that? "Little Hitlers" usually gets a mention. "Not having anything else to do with their time" appears sometimes. And there is also very occasionally a passing reference to pedophiles.

Have I forgotten anything?

Don't these things run on a 'pay it back' or 'pay it forward' understanding?

I dont know? Again, there is NO clear ethos or guidelines UK Wide?
I would imagine those who are aware of this Understanding know about it before hand and thats the kinda thing that floats their boat and makes them feel special.
Most other families, I imagine are happy to find an activity their kids are into. End of.

There could be a billion reasons why no one helps with kayake/parades. Who cares, they never signed up to volunteer and have no obligation to do so. If volunteers are continually annoyed by others not volunteering then they are in it for the wrong reason.

Well done Bertrand. How predictable some people are

Yep, you were, weren't you?

Our scout group is in a small village, it relies on parent volunteers to keep on running. We have a parent rota, parents are on the committee, parents bring their expertise to various sessions eg a paramedic running the first aid session and helping on camp. In fact we have a couple of camps this year which our group wouldn't be able to attend if parents weren't helping to run.

Our group is hosting this year's St George's Day District parade. We need to provide cakes for about 400 people. Do people expect the leaders to do that as well as organising the rest of the parade? If it wasn't for parents helping out there wouldn't be any cakes and some very disappointed children!

Nope,ineed, you're just doing it to make yourself feel special...........

Not everyone feels they are equipped to be a leader of a youth organisation so would never volunteer in that capacity but do support in other ways, such as helping with transport, setting up and clearing up etc. We've picked ours up from camp sometimes and they are exhausted and the last thing they want to do is help clear up, other children seem to be spirited away. I remind them that i am sure the leaders are equally exhausted and so we stay to help, It's really not that much of a time commitment when everyone pitches in, it only becomes a proper chore when there are few hands to do it. I'm also aware that all we are doing is clearing up and loading it on the trailer, it's the poor leader that has to sort it all at the other end. Although we often end up with a wet tent to dry :)

My boys have been praised for being the first to volunteer for everything, fun or otherwise but I would still not prioritise a parade or expect them to attend.

SantanaBinLorry*

One of my favourite bits of MN is when those that don't volunteer moan about those that do, especially when those that don't volunteer are complaining that there is an expectation of their kids behaving.