Scouts Parade v family life

[ParadiseCity]

My 11 yo is in scouts and tomorrow there is a St Georges parade through town. His leader told them all 'it's compulsory and you can't be excused unless you are dead or dying'. However, DS is reluctant and I just don't have the inclination to jolly him into it. I'm glad he does scouts but at that age I was a guide and remember how embarrassing the public parades were. I'm normally ultra supportive of all their activities and think that when you have committed to something you stick with it etc. But he committed to Tuesday evenings down the road not a Sunday afternoon in town. I work full time, juggle a lot of stuff (as we all do), and just for once I CANNOT BE ARSED. AIBU and should I woman up and make him go?

we went today. TBH I'd completely forgotten till this thread. We only joined recently and we went. Looking at this thread I'm so glad we did. My DD was the only Cub in her pack that went and got to carry the flag she was so proud.

If we hadnt have gone there would have been no cubs from her pack there. This is a city wide event march and ceremony of over 1,000 members and a number of packs.

It was great fun and she had a great time

We are not christian but have been warmly welcomed by the Arkela .

Well the update is that DS hasn't gone. DH got kept on at work last night and then his bosses moved his work location for today so he needed the car. So it was all a moot point in the end anyway.

DS had to carry the flag once at church and hated it. He does not like being centre of attention, on stage, on display in any way. I think part of the parading reluctance is fear of ending up the only one there and having to do the flag. He managed not to do the weekly flag thing all through cubs! So for every child beaming with pride I expect there is another one who hates the very thought of it.

Anyway the good news is that the sport went v well and he made a huge contribution to the team.

Now he is going to help small sibling with some homework. Very dutifully of course

I don't expect others to volunteer if its not their thing - I have a sister who it really wouldn't suit, whereas I have done it my whole life.

Although sometimes when you ask for a small amount of help due to unavoidable circumstances it does make you really think why do I bother when no one out of 30 odd parents will give a small amount of time.

We don't ask for weekend help at all I am talking an odd evening here and there.

Whilst I do appreciate parents have lots of other things to consider - asking for parents to help out for 7 weeks, only one needed per week, to enable me to have half a term off due to having a baby, you would have thought we could have found 7 parents to help but no.

Although I will say we currently have a fab set of parents who did step up when I had an emergency op recently - its amazing how 18 months can change things!

We are not christian but have been warmly welcomed by the Arkela

So I should think, Scouting isn't a Christian organisation, were you thinking of Girls/Boys Brigade?

It's not, as I understand it (as a non-scout leader) that volunteers are 'continually annoyed' by others not volunteering, but that people (other parents in this case) are surprised that volunteers who do provide find stuff for our kids are not thought worthy of any sort of helping support. Do people really send kids to Scouts etc without realising that it is run by volunteers?

It's fine, if you don't want to help, or contribute to anything, don't - but bear in mind that eventually everything will must dry up if everyone thinks like that.

I agree with Draylon. I went to Brownies, Guides, helped run a Brownie Pack as a teenager and then became a Brownie Leader for a while. If you sign up for the scouting or guiding movement, it's really not fair to cherry pick what are perceived to be the 'good' bits (and why are the parades bad, anyway?). I think it sends children a very bad message - we only do the fun bits. What does that teach them? When it comes to university/jobs/life in general - sometimes you have to do things that are less than fun.

Wouldn't the solution be to have the parades on the usual meeting evening then?

Not really Balletgirl, there will be Beaver/Cub/Scout/Rainbow/Brownie/Guide groups meeting every night of the week and on weekends. They all come together to participate in the parades.

Oh, and other groups such as cadets, Royal Legion etc. may also be involved in the parades. It isn't really about what is convenient for individual groups.

Balletgirl: the parades are public events, A Town Centre thing.

Ours didn't do St Georges, I think, just Remembrance, because our LA / council / Town Centre don't do a St George thing.

I was a Brownie & then a girl guide but I never participated in parades as it clashed with the remembrance services etc held st my own church where I would often for example be singing in the choir.

Ds's school had the compulsory dress rehearsal for his school show last Remembrance Sunday which took priority. This at a school which has its own army, Air Force & navy cadets as well as scout troop & where the wind band provide the music for the towns service at the cenotaph

Lots of people think we get paid for running Scouts/Guides. It seems to be the one of the biggest misunderstandings of parents I come across!

Sometimes we ask for help which doesn't even put the parent out hugely - ie can you put this tent in your car to take back and bring to the meeting next week (no drying required just no space in our cars left) We asked a parent who had a 4x4, was taking 1 child home, the response - we don't have space!

As I said luckily the minority of parents think like this.

I had 6 scouts in my kitchen cooking a 3 course meal and hosting an inter-patrol Come Dine With Me evening.

I claim my right to be well and truly smug over that, I can tell you!

We have done tent drying and repairs - but we are good with tents

onemagnum
I meant as we are Jewish and its held in a Salvation army hall, i was apprehensive about how christian it would be.

Today my DD marched with the Flag, Reaffirmed her pledge and sang the national anthem. All good all fun.

No. Is a full sentence. Unless the scouts ask for help :)

OneMagnum, it may not be a Christian organisation but it is linked to the Christian faith round here, with church parades, promise including God etc

I believe that happens in some places Trixie it's not the norm in Scotland as far as I understand and have experienced, but based on threads on here it seems more prevalent in England. Regardless, they are supposed to be open to those of any faith and none so should be welcoming to everyone. It's the boy and girls brigade that is linked to church here. Only one of the groups in our area even meets in the church hall (and that's just because the time clashes with something else being held in the school), the rest use Scouts own facilities or school halls.

Just got back from our St George's day event. Over 500 children and adults attended, which was brilliant. Ours had very little religious content as it was not held in a church. As part of our event a number of awards are presented. It is lovely seeing some of the children receive their Chief Scout Awards, which are the highest awards children can get in each section. What is also lovely to see is the excitement of the various packs if their leaders get presented with special awards.

It's not, as I understand it (as a non-scout leader) that volunteers are 'continually annoyed' by others not volunteering, but that people (other parents in this case) are surprised that volunteers who do provide find stuff for our kids are not thought worthy of any sort of helping support. Do people really send kids to Scouts etc without realising that it is run by volunteers?

This. That's hit the nail on the head. Its the fact that some (not all, of course) parents don't seem to be willing to help in any way. I went to pick up my DD from a scout camp recently, I went a bit early to help pack away. When the parents arrived to pick up their children, not one offered to help in any way. What would have been a 20 minute clear up if everyone helped turned into a 2 hours job for the leaders. Who were already shattered from camping for nights, looking after someones elses children.

Maybe it's a lack of understanding how much effort does go into all by the leaders. As I am a cub leader, I know how hard it is. It can be utterly exhausting.

When we've picked up after camp you can see the exhaustion on the leaders faces. Why wouldn't you help when you've woken up in a nice comfy bed at 8am ish and they've been awake since about half 4 dealing with 30 wide awake cubs who only went to sleep at half 1? They've spent their weekend entertaining, cooking for and caring for your children and giving them wonderful memories and skills to take them through life. Is it really too much to ask to spend 20 minutes helping to clear up? I don't think so.

I don't see why he should do just the fun bits. Not setting a great life example is it?

Is it really too much to ask to spend 20 minutes helping to clear up? I don't think so

You wouldn't think so, OneMagnumisneverenough, would you? But apparently it is too much to ask of most parents.

Our Group were told that it was compulsory, especially as we were hosting it this year, but it isn't enforced - those that go will get a bar of chocolate at the next group meeting, and those that didn't go won't get one. They all know this is how we do these things.

But I'll just copy what I also put on the other thread running - parades needn't be boring:

"Not a leader but on the Group Exec Committee with a remit as the GSL's Dogsbody.

Sounds to me like the service /take the good with the bad element needs to be pointed out occasionally. Parades were boring 35 years ago, but you went because the camps and other stuff were great. You have to "earn" the good stuff with boring stuff, parades, community projects etc.

However, our Group ran the District St Georges Day parade today, with a remit to "freshen it up and make it more relevant" for the kids.

We had no hymns. No prayers. A brief blessing from the vicar - we'd looked at a non-religious location, but the main church was actually the only place big enough for the whole District and it was still standing room only, even with half the parents adjourning to the pub having to wait outside.

Promises renewed. Various films and slideshows showing the range of activities done by Beavers, Cubs and Scouts up on a couple of big screens with modern upbeat songs as the background. Plus "Reach for the Stars" blush Various awards issued to kids and leaders. Compared by our Group Chair and DS.

Phone now in meltdown with GSL bouncing texts and emails from kids, parents and leaders from other Groups saying how great it was."

Last cub camp we had a rota for parents helping. As a result by the time we did our closing ceremony everything was packed up and ready to load into cars.
We didnt expect this to be the case, the parents were fab and made our packing up much shorter so we got home quicker.
Sometimes you just have to be direct and say we need this many adults, at this time, to do this....or we cant do the activity.

Hopefully what goes round comes round.

When there has been limited space for an activity my DSs have generally always got a space, when there has been a camp going over the full ages ranges of Scouts and there has been different pick up times say for Beavers and Cubs and I've had one in each, DS2 has been allowed to stay later with the cubs, A. because they know he could be trusted to help and not be a pain in the arse and B. because it means less mucking about for me at pick up. I haven't usually even needed to ask, they've just emailed me separately after the parent emails have come out and said to me that they are happy for DS2 to stay and join in etc.

Both are now explorers so that doesn't happen too much but they are young leaders with different age groups so it can mean a lot of running about still, especially as they are on different nights.

Poor DS2 has just done his DofE practice weekend, he can barely walk but has still committed to do a hill walk with the Beavers tomorrow night.