It's a wedding invite one...

[gininteacupsandleavesonthelawn]

In an effort to avoid a few posts in here about me later in the year- I need some guidance on how to ensure maximum reasonableness.

So, wedding next year, were about to book venue. Number 1 choice is somewhere we love, it's a bit luxury and a very special place for us. We're having a medium sized wedding c.70 guests. There's nowhere else that compares for us. Now the problem, they have a rule that all guests must be residents in the hotel- everyone must stay. It's expensive. Most guests don't live locally, so realistically would need a hotel room anyway. We don't have the budget to pay for the rooms for everyone. Some of our guest wouldn't bat an eyelid at the cost, some wouldn't be able to afford it. We could probably pay 50% of total room bill in our budget. So subsidise all rooms until they cost £50-75 per person ish? How would we even begin to word it on an invite?

How do we avoid being unreasonable? Should we give up and look elsewhere?

Thanks

A year won't make a difference we've got lots of other things to do, we're in the middle of a renovation project, it's less about afford and what we can budget for a wedding. Due to baby plans, age etc we're getting married next year one way or another

I just want somewhere pretty or with a view... I spend a lot of time in standard hotel meeting rooms, I've no desire to get married in one.

Cameron House is meant to be lush, also I think there are some cheaper options to stay nearby so guests can stay there if not at the venue.

As a wedding guest my main priorities are:

1. being able to stay somewhere that isn't ludicrously expensive
2. not having to travel far between locations for wedding and celebration
3. Being fed at semi regular intervals, particularly if photos are taking a long time
4. Being provided with some alcohol - but do not need a free bar, few glasses of plonk do me fine

If its a nice venue then great, but really I'm there to see my friends getting hitched and provided my basic needs above are being serviced then I'm happy and I'd like to think that most folks are like that.

Lots of fabulous hotels just outside Glasgow if you're thinking of the Uni Chapel for your ceremony...
Mar Hall

I can't believe I'm even considering it as it means everyone travelling... The uni bit makes it tempting though what I'd save in rooms I'd make up in 30extra guests 🙈

If you haven't got exclusive use of the venue check whether they do more than one wedding on a day last thing you want is to bump into another bride!

Pictures from when I was going for my walk around the Gleneagles grounds last year. No barriers anywhere, either for cars or pedestrians.

With the size of the hotel grounds and the three 18 hole golf courses, plus the 9 hole course, combined with the Scottish "right to roam", they'd be hard pushed to wall in all of that.

It is a beautiful venue and I agree - the Old Course Hotel is not a patch on it (have stayed there too plus went to Uni there so went to a couple of functions there). Great service and location but a bit soulless.

But unless all your wedding guests can genuinely afford it, I think it would put a dampener on the day.

665 - all the restaurants are open to the public, so it is not a case of having limited catering facilities. It is an enormous hotel and can cope with major conferences. I think this "rule" is just a case of "because they can"

A wee aside for anyone who does ever go to stay there. Don't go down to breakfast. Order room service and instead of an anonymous (and frankly disappointing) semi-self service breakfast in a large room, you get breakfast delivered on individual trolleyes, with big silver domes keeping the food hotel Much more special and doesn't cost any more. :)

OP, have you considered Dunblane Hydro?

So go back to your original list of requirements, and add in the suggestions that others have made on here....

Stunning venue
Lovely views
Accommodation for guests who want to stay in venue
Affordable accommodation options nearby
Wonderful food
Easy travel from Edinburgh airport and surrounding area
etc. etc.
Decide what is essential and what is optional e.g. spa, on-site golf, or work out other ways to achieve them.
And then see which venues might meet your requirements. For the moment put Gleneagles out of your mind, then once you've got an alternative short-list see how they match up with Gleneagles. It is so difficult once you've set your heart on something, and you've done the right thing to ask for opinions here before you go ahead.

Have you considered city centre options e.g. The Glasshouse - lovely roof garden which makes it a bit different from your standard city hotel wedding.

Dunblane is no where near gleneagles standard, just your average Hilton. Conference food is never great either. I have added the Andy Murray hotel to my list

How about pay for a bit more? If the price was £30 a head inc breakfast, children free, I think most would pay it. Your family could pay the full price to even it out. People will probably give you money for a wedding present if you don't ask for specific gifts, this would probably cover a lot of it anyway...

Just googled Cameron House and it does look lovely - is it suitably grand indoors if it's pissing it down in October so you're stuck inside?

If 90% of your guests would stay over, that's fine if it's their choice, particularly if there's cheaper hotels nearby so it's a proper choice. (Taxi issues with other venues, can you not pre-book 2/3 for midnight/1am or suggest your guests do prebook?)

rookiemere you misunderstand me (though I don't think the OP did) wouldn't recommend doing the "clever" thing fish suggests and pay for some peoples rooms and let others pay the full whack.

I was not suggesting this. I was suggesting the op makes the bookings then keeps it an utter secret even from the people whose names are used for these bookings. The rooms would be empty which, like she says in the post of 17:09 would be a bit of a shame but no one gets to be a freeloader.

I agree with fishwithabicycle I said same a few pages back - and to be clear they are NOT giving anyone a free room. The b&b guarantee all rooms are paid for, irrespective of whether their guests choose to stay there. Their guests aren't told that b&g have to pay for unused rooms, b&g just have to suck it up and take the hit, but is the price they pay if they are desperate for Gleneagles and don't want to piss anyone off.

That sounds like a really odd contract to me. Is it somewhere that holds a lot of weddings? I simply can't see that many couples would be able to agree to that.

Personally, I think the only way you can book it is if you either pay for all of the rooms or are happy if people don't come because of the stipulation about where they must stay. I don't think you can expect everyone to stay there if they have to pay part of the cost.

You just can't. Everyone will say you're charging an entrance fee for the wedding. Find a suitable venue.

I said same a few pages back

sorry Bubbins I missed that. Great minds think alike eh?

If you are close to your family can't you just tell them about your dilemma and ask if they would pay for all their rooms instead of a wedding gift and then you can pay 100% of the other rooms. You could also look at what extras you could cut. If the venue is the main priority you could save ££££'s by not having a photographer, cars, make up done etc.

I think the venue sounds amazing and would happily go without the 'fluff'. I had a smaller wedding but we paid for every single thing ourselves. I had no extras at all. I didn't even have a new dress. It still felt like the classiest wedding ever. I might be biased Our guests didn't have to get their wallets out once.

The rooms are over £300 each. Even asking family "instead of a gift" is too much imo. I wouldn't spend that on a gift for anyone's wedding present.

Glad you like the look of Carberry it really was stunning and the food was lovely. The ceremony room was lovely, drinks and canapés were served in the garden because it was a beautiful day. Piped to a marquee for food then to a drawing room upstairs for coffee afterwards. There was a piano that a talented guest started playing. Then downstairs for the evening entertainment.
The whole place is stunning and the service was seamless.

The rooms are over £300 a night?

OP I'm glad you're looking at other options. As regards booking the rooms anyway, whilst that may be frustrating for you it probably a very different scenario in your guest's heads than being railroaded into a specific hotel at a specific rate.

FWIW last time we attended a family wedding we booked into a clean 4 star on a last minute deal of £80 a night including breakfast. The thinking on this was that we weren't really there to 'enjoy' a spa hotel iyswim - work and travel + wedding drinks meant we weren't spending enough quality time in a really good hotel to enjoy it. I imagine some others who are travelling to your wedding may take a similar view.

I would think that Gleneagles is really aimed at people who can pay the whole bill themselves without wincing (and I say that as someone who could manage the first, but not the latter part of this) and those who aspire to be those people. I equally imagine they get lots of people who are well off but not rich who manage to piss off their guests in the process.

Whatever you do, don't create tiered / bespoke rates if you do have to sell on rooms at your venue. Fine to gift the wedding party siblings, probably okay to sub a student relative, but multiple different rates across randoms will not end well if it gets out. I would be very pissed off to attend a wedding where people who had a similar degree of relationship paid less because they appeared to need more help (unless it was breathtakingly obvious that they did). Consider also that some people may be offended if you ask them if they need a subsidised room (implication, pride and all that).

DH and I had a night in a hotel where a wedding was being held. We felt very awkward walking past them all to the restaurant and the service was shit as they staff were focused on the wedding.

There was also an offensive painting on the wall in the room.

An offensive painting of what??

I think you want to do it OP so you should just do it.

As long as you're totally comfortable with people choosing not to come. We've just been to a destination wedding and had to stay at the expensive venue because it was miles from anywhere. It was completely our decision to go and we had a lovely time. Lots of people didn't go and the groom got a bit narky about it but he only has himself to blame!!