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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to put 3 year old with 5 year old in child-contract taxi to nursery as one off and...

257 replies

Bluejay100 · 21/04/2016 19:43

Was nursery right to report me to Health Visitor for doing this, without informing me? I know it was maybe not ideal but my ex husband declined to take them at last minute as he was annoyed I've claimed for child maintenance, and it's an hour commute to my work via that nursery. I also work in a vital healthcare role and need to be in at 8. So not ideal, but is it a child protection issue?? I'm fuming at them.

OP posts:
BaronessEllaSaturday · 21/04/2016 20:33

Child-contract taxis can be booked by anyone to do the school run, they are quite common in my area. I do not think that this is the 5 year olds normal method of travel as I suspect they are currently on school holidays (my area still is mostly) hence being taken to nursery not school. I do think 3 is a bit young and I do think the fact they would need signing in rather than just handing over does complicate things.

LunaLoveg00d · 21/04/2016 20:34

Is this one of those "I was actually the taxi driver" or "I was the Health Visitor" threads where the OP has twisted it round completely?

ManicPixieDream · 21/04/2016 20:34

Are you there OP? Can you clarify a few things?

Lifecanonlygetbetter · 21/04/2016 20:34

The nursery should have told the op before speaking to her HV. However the Op should have contacted the nursery and explained the situation. Even if a taxi driver has had a clear DBS check (formerly CRB) that was only accurate on the day it was issued. The taxi driver could have been arrested for any offence. As a social worker I would be very concerned, as you did not prioritise the children's safety and welfare. As a mum I would have phoned work to say that I have a family crisis and that I will be in late. No job is so 'vital' that you put your children at risk.

lalalalyra · 21/04/2016 20:35

But again some. Not all. Some are so fucking anal it is unbelievable and require a huge amount of paperwork when a family has moved.

This is exactly why some drivers & escorts end up doing odd favours for families without putting them through the official channel. Sometimes the official channels are ridiculously complicated.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 21/04/2016 20:35

I think if it is the driver that usually takes your 5 year old to school and you've paid him to drop your 3 year old at nursery privately straight after I think that's fine in an emergency. I guess I would have phoned the nursery and warned them if it isn't the usual arrangement.

Grouchymare · 21/04/2016 20:36

My daughter goes to school in a taxi every day since she was 4. It's provided by the council because she goes to a special school. Her driver has been vetted but there is no chaperone. She adores the driver and I trust him 100% going in the taxi is sometimes the highlight of her day. My younger daughter is super jealous and can't wait to start school so she can go in the taxi too. If I had been in your situation and the driver and my daughter had been ok with it I would have sent my 3 yr old in the taxi (I should add the taxi driver takes them into school and hands them over to playground supervisor) but I would have spoken to pre school about it once she was en-route.

I think a lot of people giving the OP a hard time don't really understand the scenario she is laying out.

I wouldn't worry too much about the report- I suspect your health visitor will have more to worry about ie genuine neglect cases and will be satisfied with a phone call. I don't think You are being unreasonable though - I think nursery should have discussed it with you first.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 21/04/2016 20:36

Over 100 posts and still no OP...

bloodyteenagers · 21/04/2016 20:38

so you are a social worker who knows little about child protection - a parent/carer is never informed prior to referral.
And you know nothing about how some children are transported
To school and respite.

SilverBirchWithout · 21/04/2016 20:38

I still cannot see in OP's post any conformation that this was the 'normal' procedure for the 5 year old. She stated that father was due to take 'them' so I don't think it was just a case of popping 3 year old in with an older child.

gobbymare · 21/04/2016 20:39

In the case of invalidating taxi insurance for the extra child....as long as you radio through and the office puts the extra childs name on the job screen then there's no issue with the insurance.
At least that's how it works with my office.
Private hire only tho not sure with Hackney cabs.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 21/04/2016 20:39

It's not really any different to if you'd asked a neighbour to drop them as a favour except the driver is vetted.

Owllady · 21/04/2016 20:40

It takes 3 weeks here to get a new transport arrangement but presumably this was private hire and they've done it as a one off. I really can't get excited about it. The OP knows the driver and escort anyway, they'll go to her house once or twice a day anyway and she already trusts them with a vulnerable child.

I'm too laid back to be on aibu. That's having a severely disabled child for you. Your special snowflake tendencies never develop

Technoremix · 21/04/2016 20:46

I can't really see the problem. It sounds like this is the 5yo's normal mode of transport, op knows the driver and asked for a favour as a one off to drop the younger at nursery?

I would not personally do this because I have lots of options, but she presumably didnt, hence describing it as a one off and emergency?

museumum · 21/04/2016 20:47

There are child taxis that drop off at our nursery. The driver is a woman who I assume acts as a semi-childminder in loco parentis. She has her website printed on her car.

Buckinbronco · 21/04/2016 20:48

The nursery haven't reported her for insurance. MN'er are a bit obsessed with insurance

AnyFucker · 21/04/2016 20:50

Some of you really, really don't know what you are talking about

Eustace2016 · 21/04/2016 20:50

Not sure it's too different from our daily nanny who always took the children to and from school at 3 and 5 year old. Or my 5 year old getting a school coach to Haberdashers school at age 5.

Buckinbronco · 21/04/2016 20:54

What do you mean any fucker? Or was it just a slightly dramatic passive aggressive comment designed so you could be asked? Wink

Owllady · 21/04/2016 20:54

That's quite clear anyfucker
But presumably you're child protection and we come under children with disabilities team. I would imagine your line is drawn much clearer and nearer, ours ironically, further away
Unless I've misunderstood the whole scenario and she's shoved them in an unmarked taxi to nursery, which is an entirely different thing.

PatriciaHolm · 21/04/2016 20:54

I don't think anyone here really knows what is being discussed given that OP lobbed this in over an hour ago and disappeared without further explanation knowing it would cause a fuss.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 21/04/2016 20:59

If it's a daily thing for the 5 year old, I can't get into a lather over the 3 yo going as well, IF the driver was happy to take them & hand them over to the nursery. If the driver is considered 'safe' for the 5 year old they're not suddenly going to start being 'a risk' because the other child is 3. Anyone saying they'd never put any child into a taxi might need to consider themselves fortunate that they or their child doesn't have the need of the service.

It is not the business of the nursery which adult hands the child to them unless they are clearly an unfit adult, it's their business who THEY hand the child over to.

I'd be livid if the nursery felt that this arrangement was somehow their business. If a competent adult hands a child over they have no right to decide they don't approve. They'd only have a point if the driver opened the door & left the child unattended.

NoMudNoLotus · 21/04/2016 21:10

Totally agree with AnyFucker.

For somebody who works in the health service I am amazed she thinks this is acceptable .

As part of my job I regularly have to sadly make safeguarding referrals - this would be one of them.

NoMudNoLotus · 21/04/2016 21:12

And to the PP who said it is no business of the nursery as to who hands the child over ....

It ABSOLUTELY is . Fact.

Safeguarding children is EVERYBODYS business.

flanjabelle · 21/04/2016 21:19

I think we really need the op to clarify the points raised really. Otherwise we may well be jumping to the wrong conclusions.