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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to put 3 year old with 5 year old in child-contract taxi to nursery as one off and...

257 replies

Bluejay100 · 21/04/2016 19:43

Was nursery right to report me to Health Visitor for doing this, without informing me? I know it was maybe not ideal but my ex husband declined to take them at last minute as he was annoyed I've claimed for child maintenance, and it's an hour commute to my work via that nursery. I also work in a vital healthcare role and need to be in at 8. So not ideal, but is it a child protection issue?? I'm fuming at them.

OP posts:
AlleyCatandRastaMouse · 21/04/2016 20:17

I am a little surprised at all the ire being directed towards the OP, the person actually doing all the graft with the chikdren and not the idle fuck wit who, though his selfish action, landed her right in it.

From context I am presuming she used some kind of vetted service, there is a similar service offered for our ASD child to go to a special school but I am non UK so I would need clarification on that. OP your ex is a fuck wit for doing what he did and I hope you can get sorted with the nursery. I think they had a right to express concern though if they were not informed of the changed circumstance.

AnyFucker · 21/04/2016 20:17

it's bad

really, it is

Whatamuckingfuddle · 21/04/2016 20:18

Erm, clearly not ideal but there is some massiv overreacting going on here. Particularly with the paedophile comment. The driver will be crb checked and most likely known to the family and the school, just hasn't taken 3 year old before. The op makes it clear she was desperate, her ex is to blame here

LittleNelle · 21/04/2016 20:19

TheSuspiciousMsWhicher - not where I am! The first thing SS ask is if you have discussed with parents and what their position is/how you've worked with them already. Unless talking to parents will put the child in immediate danger, you should always talk to them.

titchy · 21/04/2016 20:19

Why AF? If the driver is known, insured and takes the kid to the correct place they're only doing what a childminder, au pair or neighbour would do.

witsender · 21/04/2016 20:19

Errr, yeah...no.

SwearyKnickers · 21/04/2016 20:20

The OP didn't say it was an hour long journey form her house.. just from nursery to her work. Could be the other direction.
It's not ideal but if it's someone who normally takes children..surely it's no longer a safe guarding issue? If her husband put her in a position where she might lose her job she might have felt she didn't have much option.

AnyFucker · 21/04/2016 20:20

"desperate" would be if it was a life or death matter

having to get to work and shoehorning your kid into a taxi not designated for them does not qualify

bloodyteenagers · 21/04/2016 20:21

More info needed. It is not a clear cut safe guarding issue.
3 year olds can travel in taxis, not
All authorities deem this to be with chaperone.
The contracted companies will take a sibling if agreed beforehand.

Teddy1970 · 21/04/2016 20:21

oblada The OP said in her original post it was a one off..

chillycurtains · 21/04/2016 20:21

Children in terms of their safety come before work obligations. You should have taken them and commuted for the hour. Nothing else to it.

MsJamieFraser · 21/04/2016 20:21

CRB does not clarify that someone is not a paedophile, it only clears them of not being convicted.

I loathe the misconception that because someone has a clear CRB that they are then deemed "safe" They are NOT!

NeedACleverNN · 21/04/2016 20:22

No AF is right.
It is bad

Even if the OP paid for the 3 year old, they wouldn't have been covered by the insurance. Not properly. It would have ended up being the 5 year old is responsible for the 3 year old which of course is ridiculous

mygrandchildrenrock · 21/04/2016 20:22

As several other posters have pointed out, travelling unacompannied in a taxi is normal for many children in rural locations. Last year, we had 3 yr old and 4 yr old siblings brought to and from school in a taxi paid for by social services. There was no escort and not always the same taxi driver. Once the taxi driver knew which door to bring them to, we always made sure a member of staff was there to greet them and take them off him. In the evening, the taxi driver would go to the classroom door like any other parent/carer.
Social services and the Education Dept certainly didn't think this was an unacceptable arrangement. If either child was off sick, the other one came on their own in the taxi.

rightmywrongs · 21/04/2016 20:23

That's bonkers & they were right raising concerns.
I go out & about in the car regular with my 3 year old & her 5 year old cousin & even getting them in & out can be a rammy.
Can't comprehend EVER putting them in a taxi & waving them off.

SwearyKnickers · 21/04/2016 20:25

It is entirely up to the taxi driver if he or she wants to risk their insurance (if it's true that it would invalidate it). I doubt that was made known to the OP and I'd be surprised if it would invalidate it if they were happy to do it.

bloodyteenagers · 21/04/2016 20:26

Some of you are clearly lucky to never have to rely on child taxis to get children too and from school.
Children that use these companies are miles away from school.
Children, and yes as young as 2, are in special needs settings and need to get from home to place.

lalalalyra · 21/04/2016 20:27

I don't think anyone can truly judge without clarification of the taxi. If the same taxi driver and escort have taken the 5yo to school/nursery for an extended period and they are known to the family then it's a different matter to ringing a cab and sticking the two kids in it. If it is a contract taxi who agreed to help out as a one off I imagine they'll get in a whole heap of trouble as they are v.strictly regulated [DD2's taxi couldn't even pick her up at her Dad's house of a morning, when she stayed with him he had to bring her home in time for the taxi as they can't change pick up and they seriously discouraged non-use of the taxi].

The paedophile worries from some people slightly baffle me though. Statistically the kids would be safer stuck in a taxi with a random taxi driver than they would be with someone who knows the family.

SilverBirchWithout · 21/04/2016 20:27

I think we can assume that this 'child-contract' taxi is not the normal arrangement for either of these children, as the OP mentions that the arrangements to take them in went pear-shaped at the last minute.

So I am a bit at a loss where this 'specialist'' taxi service materialised from at the last minute.

I am not surprised the nursery felt the need to report, especially if the children were distressed or the taxi driver didn't follow normal procedures when they arrived.

I suspect we have not been given all the information about what happened.

AnyFucker · 21/04/2016 20:27

yes, in this case it was "normal" for the 5yo to have the taxi transport

caregivers at either end know the procedure

adding a random child to the mix invalidates insurance, voids the obligations of care givers and effectively means that the 3yo was in limbo for the duration of the journey (and possibly beyond as the people at the other end have no legal compunction to be responsible for ....although of course we know they would which is just as well, really)

I am glad you have been reported op. You have massively misused the system and put both your children and the professional reputation of the caregivers at risk

Elfieselfie · 21/04/2016 20:28

The nursery should have advised parents that they were reporting their concerns (although they should have contacted Childrens Services directly).

If the nursery was concerned that informing parents would place the children at further risk then they should have reported without informing parents.

In all of the local authorities i have worked in as a Social Worker, children have an escort when being transported via taxi until they reach senior school.

As has been pointed out, if the authority concerned has different arrangements then it is still unacceptable to send another child in the same taxi.

It is hard juggling competing responsibilities however the children's safety and welfare must be paramount.

oblada · 21/04/2016 20:30

Teddy1970 - she said it was a one off for the 3 yr old to joion in i think... faced with the same situation i may have done the same, vetted taxi, suitable car seats, risk losing job/pay otherwise, single mum... split decision, maybe not the best but not that bad!! but again for reporting its fair enough, they have to.

Buckinbronco · 21/04/2016 20:30

A child contract taxi is a normal (ish- above board at least) thing. Tagging on another drop off for a 3 YO is really not. OP I sympathise with you but this isn't the answer. I really feel for you because your ex sounds like a cunt

gobbymare · 21/04/2016 20:32

As a taxi driver who only does school runs this is common practice for me in my job.

I have also picked up toddlers with disabilities without an escort before now altho that's in an emergency situation.

We are CRB checked and go into reception where we show our school badge and taxi badge where they are photo copied.
The child is then brought to reception.
We don't just leave the children at the doors of their homes we have to make sure they go in or the parent/carer comes to the taxi.

So personally I see no harm in doing this.

bloodyteenagers · 21/04/2016 20:32

Again if agreed with the local authority things can be changed.
Location of pick up and drop off. A sibling.
There's a central place that handles these things who then contract out to their own employers and local companies.
The central place knows exactly what the insurance covers.

But again some. Not all. Some are so fucking anal it is unbelievable and require a huge amount of paperwork when a family has moved.

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