That this is the teacher's fault

[TrixieBlue2016]

On Monday DSS brought home a letter asking permission for him to have his hair chalked as they are doing a project. DSS has shoulder length light blonde hair. We were asked to provide chalk that can be washed out.

So yesterday I sent him in with a stick of green hair chalk. I picked DSS up from after school and the bottom 4 inches of his hair was green. I took him home and got him to go wash his hair. The green didn't come out.

I asked DSS had he done it himself or did the teacher colour his hair. He said the teacher spray painted his hair. I checked his bag and the stick of chalk was unused.

Long story short the green still hasn't completely come out. I sent a note explaining that his hair was washed half a dozen times but it's still green and also the chalk provided wasn't used.

I have just had a call from the HM about DSS hair, it is unacceptable apparently. HM agrees the teacher did it and used a colour spray not the chalk provided however DSS is still at fault and has broken the rules. HM says DSS agreed to have the teacher use the spray. DSS will lose golden time on Friday and will be on report until it washes out. This means no afternoon playtime.

I have asked to speak to the teacher when I collect DSS from school today. HM is going to speak to his teacher.

It is clear to me that the teacher is at fault not DSS. Aibu? DSS is 10.

Yes, As a teacher I have to have written permission to help a student apply the sun-cream they bring in from home and am absolutely banned from using any of my own products even if parents have written to say I may. Colleagues have been formally disciplined for doing this. It IS considered assault (although I'm sure it would not actually make it court - but it could!) so spraying hair without permission should be of similar, if not greater severity.
Write your complaint to the chair of governors for this assault - which has been compounded by punishing the victim.

Very bizarre! You hear so much about teachers being snowed under by regulations and rules and red tape and how they just want to be allowed to get on with actually educating the kids. But this HM has managed to manufacture a huge, time consuming row with this family over nothing much at all. Personally, if my DD came home with indelible green hair I would be livid, I think this OP is reacting very calmly and reasonably to that aspect of the affair! As far the child then being punished, I would be incandescent about that!!

Afraid I'm another who thinks HM's 'concerns' probably had more to do with the length of his hair than the green. What a twerp.

Just want to make clear I don't blame the teacher either - . she made a simple mistake whilst trying to give her class some fun along with their learning. I'm sure she'll have learned and won't do it again! It's the head that's escalated this.
Well done OP to stay so calm and handling this so professionally (unlike the head).

Grrrr another lying head, this has to be the most ridiculous thing I have heard. It seems that the heads piss poor management of a ridiculous situation may now land the pair of them in a much worse situation. Unfortunately even when you go higher up the authority it is still the same. Not sure about Scotland but here LEA' s Children and Young Peoples Dept are all integrated which translates as we have each others backs and will lie through our teeth to cover it. I put a formal complaint in about my ds HM and she announced her retirement 2 days later. I have experienced lies right through from teacher to Director of Education and Chair of Governors. It seems to be a new management style around here.
I am sorry this has happened to your dss and yourself but you must report to higher than the head or you will (like me) be that mum.

What sort of ridicuous rules does your son's school have? Thought I was living in the Twiight Zone when reading your original post. FFS, no way should your son be blamed, Jeez. Good luck OP xx

Bloody hell, there's some overreaction on this thread!

By all means OP should be meeting the head to refuse an unjust punishment. But safeguarding concerns? Assault? Going to the papers?

Oh, and I can only speak for myself, but I certainly wouldn't be buying five different kinds of special shampoo or slapping condiments on the poor kids hair! The green'll wash out eventually with normal washing, and unless he's particularly upset by it, green tips are cool. Spray from Claire's you say?

Do you think they are trying to get you to cut off his shoulder length hair?

I would go apeshit - not about the colouring, it's a stupid mistake but I'm assuming the teacher learned a valuable lesson - but definitely at the HT. I would be writing a letter to inform them that as DSS was being unfairly punished I was keeping him off school until normal privileges were resumed. Then I'd take him somewhere nice for the day. Fucking morons, as if the education profession hasn't hot enough in without twats like this

Is this a private school? I have never heard of a state school in Scotland have any kind of issue with the colour of a child's hair... and I've worked in quite a few. We can't legally enforce a uniform, never mind the colour of a child's hair. I currently have a pupil who has about 4 different neon colours though her hair. Doesn't seem to affect her learning and senior management don't give a shit about the colour of her, or anybody else's hair - staff included.

As others have already suggested, for me it would be a stiff letter to school governors and take your boy out of school on Friday... Outrageous behaviour from school HT

If this happened at a state school in Scotland, you should complain formally to the Director of Education of your local Council (or whatever the title of the Director responsible for schools is). Or you could just get hold of the Council's complaints policy (and complaints form if required) and take it from there. It probably won't get you anywhere but at least it will be on the record.

What a shame your school has been landed with this numpty of a HM. But he will doubtless be transferred to another (unsuspecting) school or promoted within a couple of years...

Oh you are the awkward parent with the long haired son aren't you? (I am one myself). The head has obviously decided to get your boy toeing the line with a nice short back and sides.

THIS. THIS. and so much THIS I can't go into detail as LAC but basically long haired and tricked and conned into a "gender appropriate" haircut that the school wanted as they disliked the one he had

I can understand your annoyance. So he misses a playtime,? It's hardly the punishment of the century. Sometimes life isn't fair, no one says it has to be ..... but I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Sounds like a bit of miscommunication in the school, easily sortable but not if you go down there huffing and puffing like a steam train.

Achingallover, really? The school is trying to punish OP's son for a teacher's fuck up and she should let it happen? She has the full right to kick up a stink. Not because of the hair or playtime but because of the principle.

Why does the school have any interest in what colour a child's hair is? Seems v odd.

Hmmmm, "just had a call from HM" not a letter. No a letter would prove their stupidity.
My ds HM was a lying bully who never implicated herself in writng. I follow every call with email "just to clarify your call today" = no more ridiculous calls. Infact now = no more lying bully head.
However, stay professional, I didn't and it cost.

Clandestino ..... It sounds like a misunderstanding of communication in the school to me, easily sorted. I truly can't believe, they would punish the child for something they did. No reasonable people would. There must be more to this ...... rather than them being nutters and bastards. Otherwise it doesn't make sense. Schools are notorious for non communication between teachers and heads they are totally at fault. But we aren't talking about an exclusion here, just a missed playtime.

But Aching, ime this is just so totally off the radar in Scottish schools. I could dip-dye my DCs hair over the weekend and maybe their teachers would mention not wanting to start a trend but ultimately it's got nothing to do with them and they have no authority to enforce a punishment.

Aching, you need to read all the OP's posts. The Head persisted in trying to lie about this and justify it when he met OP and undoubtedly had had plenty of time to establish the facts.

Heads have a way of passing the buck, they are like bloody Teflon, nothing sticks as they are in charge of appraisal and performance management of teachers and yes they are quite capable of lying. I hope this doesn't wreck this teachers career, because the head will defo pass the buck.