Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That this is the teacher's fault

171 replies

TrixieBlue2016 · 20/04/2016 10:55

On Monday DSS brought home a letter asking permission for him to have his hair chalked as they are doing a project. DSS has shoulder length light blonde hair. We were asked to provide chalk that can be washed out.

So yesterday I sent him in with a stick of green hair chalk. I picked DSS up from after school and the bottom 4 inches of his hair was green. I took him home and got him to go wash his hair. The green didn't come out.

I asked DSS had he done it himself or did the teacher colour his hair. He said the teacher spray painted his hair. I checked his bag and the stick of chalk was unused.

Long story short the green still hasn't completely come out. I sent a note explaining that his hair was washed half a dozen times but it's still green and also the chalk provided wasn't used.

I have just had a call from the HM about DSS hair, it is unacceptable apparently. HM agrees the teacher did it and used a colour spray not the chalk provided however DSS is still at fault and has broken the rules. HM says DSS agreed to have the teacher use the spray. DSS will lose golden time on Friday and will be on report until it washes out. This means no afternoon playtime.

I have asked to speak to the teacher when I collect DSS from school today. HM is going to speak to his teacher.

It is clear to me that the teacher is at fault not DSS. Aibu? DSS is 10.

OP posts:
GormlessNormTheGardenGnome · 20/04/2016 11:16

He can't be the only one who still has green hair. Whether they used spray or chalk, that stuff stains blonde hair. I chalked my DD's hair for Halloween a couple of years ago. Six months later she still had a pink stripe at the front. Damn you, Pinterest! If the HM insists the green hair is unacceptable, tell them you expect the school to pay for a hair cut.

HateTablets · 20/04/2016 11:17

Oh my word!!!
The teacher is at fault no issue with that. Who the heck uses paint like this on a child hair wo being TOTALLY sure it washes out????

The HT isn't much going better TBH. My first reaction would be to have a word with him again but somehow I'm thinking it's not going to have that much effect.
As for your dss 'agreeing to it anyway' I'm speechless.

If your dss is missing golden time on Friday, I would be tempted to take him out of school for the Friday pm and tell the teacher and HT why.

HateTablets · 20/04/2016 11:19

Gorm I suspect that the green colour won't be that obvious on children who have darker coloured hair.
Dc2 has white blood hair. Anything like this would be obvious on him. Even a slight shade of green.
I have a dark ish brown hair. It wouldn't show.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/04/2016 11:20

Yanbu.

totally teachers fault.

amd why give a shit anyway is he suddenly an asbo pupil cos some of his hair is green?

Wtf how's he supposed to know.it wouldn't wash out

centigrade451 · 20/04/2016 11:21

You need to talk to the HT again and tell him he is being unreasonable. If he doesn't back down, then state you think his judgement is impaired and you feel compelled to write a letter to the governers/board. Then take you child out of school on Friday and tell them why.

FluffyBunny123 · 20/04/2016 11:23

What on earth?? Most yanbu ever

mummytime · 20/04/2016 11:23

One thing to add - do make sure your complaint is in writing stating all the facts.

Stillunexpected · 20/04/2016 11:25

This is a bit off the point but who the heck has hair chalk in their home to be sent into school at a moment's notice?! If I received a letter on Monday asking or hair chalk, it would probably have taken me several days to even track down the blooming stuff or order from Amazon.

SilverBirchWithout · 20/04/2016 11:26

How bizarre. What was the project?

Maybe it was about the way various societies controls and implements rules that individuals cannot influence and control, however unfair they might be Grin

TimeOfGlass · 20/04/2016 11:27

YANBU.

It would be very unfair if your DSS lost his golden time because his teacher used spray paint instead of the chalk provided.

It's ridiculous of the HT to blame a child for following their teachers instructions too. Does the HT really want children to ignore or disobey teachers.

Agree you should complain to the teacher and the HT about firstly, the hairspray, and secondly, your DSS getting into any trouble because of the hairspray the teacher applied.

JerryFerry · 20/04/2016 11:29

Oh fgs., I've read some shit on here but this takes the cake. What a waste of everyone's time. Fussing about hair when a. dss could be, gee I dunno, engaged in meaningful learning, b. the HM could do something useful and c. you could worry about something other than hair chalk, shampooing and phoning the school.

Because of course having leftover colour in your hair automatically turns you into a bad person. Even if a grown up did it to you.

You are doing everything right and the HM is a massive twat.

diddl · 20/04/2016 11:36

Don't get his hair cut-unless you want to!

I might wonder why the boy didn't mention that he had chalk, but other than that, it was sll the teacher's decision.

To not ask him where his chalk was, to not use chalk provided by another child.

Did the teacher use spray on everyone?

Who can you complain to about the HT?

AllisonWonderland · 20/04/2016 11:37

Ridiculous! I'd make a massive fuss about this and make it clear that if they continue with their position and deny your son his playtime, then you will be compelled to pursue a complaint with the school about the teacher spraying your son's hair without permission (they obviously considered parental permission to be important since they asked for permission to use chalks). I'm speechless that the headteacher would suggest a 10 year old is at fault for complying with his teacher - do you think the HT has an issue with boys having longer hair or something? I mean what exactly are they suggesting you/your son do about it?!

GF01 · 20/04/2016 11:45

I'd ask for a meeting. And at the meeting I'd establish in what way it's your son's fault. And ask what should he have done in the circumstances.

The HM has said that your son must disobey his teacher at times, and I'd ask that, as that's pretty unusual, could they put in writing the parameters of when and when not is your son supposed to disobey.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 20/04/2016 11:46

Your poor dss, it's not like he had a choice- I'm sure he was aware that he could have been punished for 'wilful disobedience' had he said no to the spray.

I would let dss know that you have his back, then do as advised above re confronting teacher/head and making sure his golden time isn't revoked.

Are they trying to turn your dss into a school refuser? Blatant hypocrisy and unfairness is one way to turn a child off school quickly. Punished if you don't, punished if you do... Plonkers!

Yanbu

Cagliostro · 20/04/2016 11:47

YANBU!!!

Cagliostro · 20/04/2016 11:48

In fact DD just looked over my shoulder and said "what does yan-boo mean?" :o

ArcheryAnnie · 20/04/2016 11:50

Agreeing with everyone else here that the teacher is at fault. I'd go further and say the HM is the one who is most at fault here for their Kafkaesque interpretation of the rules.

I don't blame the teacher too much, because they are usually overtired and underpaid and bullied by school leaderships almost as much as the kids are, and accidents (such as not realising a spray-in hair colour wouldn't wash out in one go) do happen.

The issue here is the HM's complete lack of any notion of what is either sensible or fair.

nonicknameseemsavailable · 20/04/2016 11:50

I would be marching in saying he has a family wedding this weekend and can't go with green hair that THEY caused so what are they going to do about it.

nonicknameseemsavailable · 20/04/2016 11:50

not sure if i have missed it but WHY were they having green hair for class anyway?

spiderlight · 20/04/2016 11:53

Head is being utterly ridiculous! Of course your DS shouldn't be punished for this by losing golden time.

VenusRising · 20/04/2016 11:55

Ask for a meeting.
Write emails after every phone call and meeting stating what was said and by whom. "Just to confirm, you said X" type emails.

Ask that the board of management will be involved and also that spraying hair is a health and safety issue for all students as there may be allergy or reaction to aerosol... IE asthma attacks etc.

Actually thinking about it using a spray in someone's hair is assault. So remind them that the teacher has actually assaulted your child.

Isolating your child and exposing them to humiliation and ridicule is against the education board rules, and can lead to a suspension of the teacher and the HT as well when any investigation is taking place.

If you 're not getting any joy at all theaten them with legal action and criminal and education board investigations.

Do not let them get away with it. They sound insane.

TheHobbitMum · 20/04/2016 11:55

What the actual f@ck!! Unbelievable, I'd be making official complaints over this, your poor kid! Speechless

Original poster
TrixieBlue2016 · 20/04/2016 12:07

I couldn't go to speak to the teacher this morning as I had a early meeting. DH is away with work this week so he couldn't go in either. DSS came home with dark sage green hair and now has mint green ends to his hair. He wears his hair in a bun for school so it's not dead noticeable.

I have emailed the HM saying DSS must get playtime today and I want to know why teacher used the spray when she asked for chalk and which one did she use.

DSS is one of the few kids with blonde hair in his class so he probably stands out.

They are studying carnival.

OP posts:
AnnPerkins · 20/04/2016 12:07

YANBU

VenusRising has very good advice.

Good luck.

Swipe left for the next trending thread