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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That this is the teacher's fault

171 replies

TrixieBlue2016 · 20/04/2016 10:55

On Monday DSS brought home a letter asking permission for him to have his hair chalked as they are doing a project. DSS has shoulder length light blonde hair. We were asked to provide chalk that can be washed out.

So yesterday I sent him in with a stick of green hair chalk. I picked DSS up from after school and the bottom 4 inches of his hair was green. I took him home and got him to go wash his hair. The green didn't come out.

I asked DSS had he done it himself or did the teacher colour his hair. He said the teacher spray painted his hair. I checked his bag and the stick of chalk was unused.

Long story short the green still hasn't completely come out. I sent a note explaining that his hair was washed half a dozen times but it's still green and also the chalk provided wasn't used.

I have just had a call from the HM about DSS hair, it is unacceptable apparently. HM agrees the teacher did it and used a colour spray not the chalk provided however DSS is still at fault and has broken the rules. HM says DSS agreed to have the teacher use the spray. DSS will lose golden time on Friday and will be on report until it washes out. This means no afternoon playtime.

I have asked to speak to the teacher when I collect DSS from school today. HM is going to speak to his teacher.

It is clear to me that the teacher is at fault not DSS. Aibu? DSS is 10.

OP posts:
SurroMummy13 · 20/04/2016 17:45

Teachers fault. This is ridiculous.

BlueUggs · 20/04/2016 17:53

I agree that the HM is clearly a knob, but why don't you cut your child 's hair off to get rid of the green?

Spandexpants007 · 20/04/2016 17:53

The head teacher should have apologised unreservedly instead of making up lies

Spandexpants007 · 20/04/2016 17:53

Why should he get his hair cut shorter?

Kariana · 20/04/2016 18:10

HM says DSS agreed to have the teacher use the spray.

This in itself is ridiculous. A child his age has no legal right to give permission for these things, which is surely why the permission slip about the chalk was sent home. Would they have allowed your DSS to give himself permission to attend a school trip or go swimming and then argued that it was his fault he went? For the HM to say that is bizarre!

Original poster
TrixieBlue2016 · 20/04/2016 18:22

I've emailed HM an outline similar to Larks suggestions. I have told him that I'm not happy how it was handled by him, not that the teacher sprayed is hair. It will wash out or grow out eventually. I have asked him to hold the email in DSS file as I will be saving a copy for future reference.

This HM is fairly new, he came at Easter, maybe he is trying to get his stamp on the school. The previous HT was amazing with DSS following the death of his DM.

I'm probably not the best person to start with in terms of stamping authority.Grin I could start a fight in an empty hoose.

OP posts:
Original poster
TrixieBlue2016 · 20/04/2016 18:26

Blue why should he? The school did it. If his hair is a little green who cares. It won't stop him learning. My only issue was that DSS was being unfairly punished.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 20/04/2016 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

flanjabelle · 20/04/2016 18:59

Good for you op. Well done for standing up for dss and showing him you won't let him be bullied. Good job.

getyourfingeroutyournose · 20/04/2016 19:29

YANBU big time on this and I'm glad you handled it the way you did. It sounds like the teacher wouldn't even be bothered about it but the HM is being a douchebag. Do NOT cut his hair. He likes it how it is and it's nobody else's place to tell him to cut it. I obviously have no idea what he looks like but DP has long, beautiful light blonde hair that I am so attached to that I would actually be quite disheartened if he cut it off. I wouldn't stop him making that choice but if he was forced to by someone else I would definitely be the first in to defend it.
I'm glad you stuck up for him when he needed it. The HM needs to have it spelled out that the lies will not be tolerated by yourself nor will his need to make out like your DSS is a troublemaker. He sounds wonderful in comparison to most kids I know who would've thrown chairs at the thought of losing playtime (especially if they felt it wasn't their fault).

starry0ne · 20/04/2016 19:37

Haven't read all the thread but I would be fuming..

Only advice I can give..My hairdresser told me ( when I hated my hair) Head and shoulders is good for stripping dye...Might help.

RubbleBubble00 · 20/04/2016 21:24

Head sounds like a muppet. I thought this was going to be a thread about you being annoyed with dss green hair not HT deciding to blame dss for something school did

MiniMum97 · 20/04/2016 22:38

I personally wouldn't allow the punishments to take place as they are completely unfair. Can you go to school at the relevant break and take him out? Appreciate this will be contentious but I just wouldn't have it. I would be absolutely fuming. Having an email on his file won't do anything. If you are less confrontational than me (!) then perhaps you could complain to the governors?

wilma12 · 21/04/2016 10:58

This sounds like a story for the Daily Mail...

angielou123 · 21/04/2016 11:30

That's crazy. The HM is just trying to shift the blame and I'd tell her that. Why get you to buy the chalk and then use spray?

beccabanana · 21/04/2016 11:47

Wash the ends of his hair with ketchup. Sounds gross but it neutralises the green. I've done it and it works. Or you can buy vitC tablets, crush them up with water and put in the hair. I've had green hair dye on blond before and it was the only thing that got it out other than bleach washing

mygorgeousmilo · 21/04/2016 12:59

YANBU I would fight it to the death on principle. The HM is being outrageously unreasonable, and I would be demanding an apology - it's totally the teachers fault!

FellOutOfBedTwice · 21/04/2016 13:57

This is bonkers. Complain and complain loudly.

CotswoldStrife · 21/04/2016 14:16

Just adding my sheep-like baa to the chorus to say the school were at fault, not your DSS. I also think the school dealt with the matter very poorly, and I'm glad to hear you managed to get them to see sense in the end.

IceMaiden73 · 21/04/2016 14:50

This is crazy - I would be up the school telling the HM that the punishment will not be taking place and it is not your childs fault

They are lucky you are not making a formal complaint about the teacher spraying your childs hair with spray that cannot be removed easoly

Janey50 · 21/04/2016 16:11

I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that these days,teachers are a law unto themselves. Having experienced various misdemeanours by my daughter's teachers over the years,and now my granddaughter's,it seems that they are often 'untouchable'. I appreciate that they do a very difficult job,but I am by no means including all teachers in this. I know there are some fantastic teachers out there,but a small minority spoil it for the rest. No profession should be above the law. OP - your son's teacher was way out of order here.

sashh · 21/04/2016 16:44

What are you expected to do? Keep him off school until it goes?

Maybe dip dye it dark at the ends?

Basically the teacher has used what is in effect a permanent hair colour on a child without their parent's permission and is now punishing the child for it. This is the kind of things some of the nuns got up to at my school years ago, I thought it had died a death.

On the subject of stripping colour, I have to use alphsyl shampoo for psoriasis, I can't colour my hair because the shampoo takes the colour out, mine is on prescription but you can buy it inBoots.

whois · 21/04/2016 16:47

Is this for real??

The teacher dyed your sons hair. With somersetting you did not give permission to be used. And now the headteacher is punishing your son?

I would go radio fucking mental and also make an official compliant. I hate hat HATE people like this headteacher who have no common sense.

sergeantmajor · 21/04/2016 18:34

Outrageous! YANBU

dotdotdotmustdash · 21/04/2016 18:43

Between having two children of my own and working as a supply TA in many Scottish schools, I have never heard of any state school having a problem with coloured hair, or any other hairstyle.

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