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Original poster

Stag doo in Amsterdam

325 replies

Pixienott0005 · 18/04/2016 11:41

Is it me or would most other women feel unsettled about a shed loads of blokes getting rat arsed near the red light district?

OP posts:
SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 10:15

Fanjo
Simplesimon you do seem to be enjoying the salaciousness a bit too much on this thread.

Yy. Commoditised women clearly make him feel quite the don.

Simon
The rest are just fucking animals

Spoken like a true punter - it's alway 'the others' who are the animals isn't it?

TheNaze73 · 19/04/2016 10:23

I think this all just proves that everyone is different. Not all women & men are as trusting as others, not all men are the same & everyone has different attitudes towards the subject. The bit I'm still struggling with, is if you're in a happy, fulfilled loving relationship, why you'd have an issue with a partner going anywhere. My attitude would be the same whether it be Amsterdam, Prague, the RNO or Clacton. It's like saying just because there's a cream cake on the table, you have to eat it?? Just because (like most cities) Amsterdam has readily avaliable drugs & sex that all people are so weak & value their partners so little, they'll succumb to temptation.

WorraLiberty · 19/04/2016 10:26

I think that really sums it up.

SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 10:44

Hi theNaze
Firstly, what exactly do you mean by 'succumbing to temptation'?

"Just because (like most cities) Amsterdam has readily avaliable drugs & sex"

Is anyone saying it is 'just because' of ready availbility alone?
It seems many people feel that the context of an all male group having a stag do brings in other influencing factors e.g.:
A tradition of a final fling
Group compliance
Heavy drinking
Opting to have the do in a world famous sex tourism site.
Legalisation making it seem okay and harmless.
Peer group pressure
A bond of silence
Etc, etc, etc

OfaFrenchmind2 · 19/04/2016 10:47

The first thing that jump into my mind with Amsterdam is the great party and the greater weed. Seriously, for cheap, easily available sex, and cheap alcohol, you go to Prague, not Amsterdam.

I would not mind my man going to Amsterdam for a stag do, I know what he would do: smoke too much weed, party, puke his guts out, then nurse the hangover from hell for 2 days. No time for getting tail.
But then I would do the exact same thing...

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 19/04/2016 11:04

Squirrel - is it stag dos generally you have problems with or just ones that go to Amsterdam? Would you have an issue with your DH going on a stag do elsewhere? Genuine question, because as others have said, everything that could be done in Amsterdam could be done in London or pretty much anywhere. The only real difference is the open use of weed in cafes.

I've only been on one stag do. It consisted of a round of golf, a couple of pints and then a curry. Perhaps because we were all in our 30s and 40s, I don't know. The only other I've been invited to but didn't go was in Dublin. Going out and getting pissed isn't my scene regardless.

I would never in a million years stop my partner (if I had one) going somewhere she wanted to go. And as I have said, I have seen and know about some equally poor behaviour on hen nights. And that includes a bride shagging a male stripper. I trust my partner. I wouldn't be with them if I didn't because I couldn't live constantly worrying what she might really be doing when she's supposed to be at work. Or at the gym. Or out with friends. Because if you are so inclined to cheat, you're as likely to cheat "at home" as you are when you are away.

SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 11:14

StillDrSethHazlittMD
I think I already put forward some influences on the context in my post 10.44
Fwiw it would apply to stag dos chosen in other sex tourism destinations too, eg Prague, Bankok and so on.

KnotNora · 19/04/2016 11:22

YANBU

I know a number of women who would say the same thing as others on this thread. That their husbands/partners hate strip clubs, went to museums and had no interest in the red light district.

It's bullshit of course, my ex told me exactly what had happened. 4/10 slept with prostitutes, they all went to a sex show and watched some woman being shagged by two blokes, all went to the strip club and 2 shagged some Romanian women they met in a club.

Not one of the women have a clue and all would swear blind their husbands wouldn't do that.

pearlylum · 19/04/2016 11:33

Since I have been with my OH he has been invited to 3 stag dos. I never tell my OH what he can and can't do, but he has made up some excuse for all three, illness, busy with work etc.

Not all men like this type of event. My OH is shy around women, doesn't drink lager, hates football and would find a stag night out anywhere unenjoyable.

SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 11:55

Not all men like this type of event.
Indeed.
But I suppose the issue is:
Are the men who do like this kind of event, or say they don't like it but attend anyway, trustworthy whatever that means?

pearlylum · 19/04/2016 12:05

For me the issue is not about trust, it's about wanting a man in my life that likes the idea of getting rat faced sound the streets with juvenile men and visiting sex clubs.

Not an attractive feature in a man.

SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 12:12

Not an attractive feature in a man.
I'm with you there - I find it odd that some women find attractive and knowingly marry regular users of lapdancing clubs. Confused

SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 12:18

Yet (to parody) there are a lot of women who say:
I don't stop dh getting kicks from fanjo in the face because I trust him. Or I don't mind dh having a naked woman grind on his lap because I trust him.....
Setting the bar for acceptible behaviour so low makes you wonder what actually crossing the 'trust' line would consist of.

GarthNader · 19/04/2016 12:28

Took me a while to work out what fanjo meant. I'm not entirely sure now but I'm certain it's not the dog's name, which is what I first thought. Grin
I guess maybe some women like the excitement of a guy like that and would find someone like me boring.

JasperDamerel · 19/04/2016 12:33

I think that DP would love a trip to Amsterdam with his mates. They spend a ridiculous amount of time online watching Dutch videos on YouTube of segregated cycle paths.
I don't think any of our friends have had a particularly wild stag or hen party, including the ones who went to Amsterdam (hen party, a couple of people smoked, but they spent most of their time in museums and galleries).

Sallystyle · 19/04/2016 12:34

My husband doesn't like strip clubs, well the idea of them.

So he has never been. If a man goes to strip clubs but claims he doesn't like them the obvious question is.... why does he go?

I wouldn't be too comfortable with dh going to Amsterdam. I have never had any reason not to trust him, I know he would never sleep with a prostitute as he has too much respect for women, but I'm human and I'm quite an insecure person so while logically I know I wouldn't have much to worry about my past experiences and insecurity would make me uncomfortable.

Insecurity is often looked down upon on MN and it is always claimed to be as simple as you either trust him or you don't, but past experiences from childhood or whatever sometimes makes people insecure about these type of situations. More people probably would be uncomfortable with it then they care to admit. I never think it is as black and white as 'you either trust him or you don't'.

If I had a pound for every time someone said they trust their partner and then found out they were cheated on I would be rich, so there would always be that tiny part of me that would worry that I'm one of those people who trust their husband's to always be a decent person and do the right thing, because pretty much everyone who has been cheated on believed that of their partner once as well.

DH would never ever dream of going anyway so it won't ever come up.

SquirrelStandoff · 19/04/2016 12:42

U2HasTheEdge
Taking all the facts into consideration doesn't make you insecure.

The 100% trust brigade are willfully blinkered to the facts and probabilities and appear to dress blinkeredness up as having the moral high ground for some reason

SimpleSimonThePieMan · 19/04/2016 12:50

So he has never been. If a man goes to strip clubs but claims he doesn't like them the obvious question is.... why does he go?

Because generally on a stag there is little choice. Sometimes after an hour or so those that aren't interested can generally excuse themselves and head back to the hotel.

TaraCarter · 19/04/2016 13:46

I do not doubt in the least that Amsterdam is an amazing city of culture with a capital C. I genuinely don't.

However, I can't believe that the majority of stag night parties are going there for the architecture. That is not a xenophobic slur on Amsterdam, that is a slur on my own countrymen, thankyouverymuch. It has nothing to do with Brexit.

Frankly, I would love to know what percentage of stag nights and hen nights are organised with cultural activities in mind! I take it the V&A in London does a roaring trade in ticket sales to stag parties? Or is that crowd more drawn to weekend late-night opening at the Tate Modern? Grin

Amsterdam seems a very popular destination for stags lately. Cheap flights, cheap alcohol, drugs or the frisson of the red light district seem plausible reasons enough, without needing to invent more.

OnceAMeerNotAlwaysAMeer · 19/04/2016 14:11

I rather liked the Museum of Cheese and the Sex Museum in equal measure

lol, Museum of Cheese. How very Dutch. Surprised they don't have one of Tulip Bulbs actually.

MrNoseybonk · 19/04/2016 14:37

Other cities have red light districts too, but are any of them as blatant as Amsterdam, and as part of the tourist experience for so many people?

ilovesooty · 19/04/2016 15:31

The alcohol in Amsterdam isn't particularly cheap. And as I said, the strip clubs are expensive.
I simply don't recognise the city I know from the pictures some posters are painting.

Firstlawofholes · 19/04/2016 15:43

Haven't RTFT but would expect to find stag doo in green spaces with wild deer, less so in a crowded city like Amsterdam? misses point of thread

TaraCarter · 19/04/2016 15:51

Surely the reality of Amsterdam is less relevant than how it is popularly perceived, when we're speaking about the likely motivations and plans of British tourists?

If somewhere (no particular place intended) was actually an utter shithole, but had an international reputation for sites of historical significance... Grin

Bromeliad · 19/04/2016 15:58

I live in Amsterdam, please don't let him come here. The fewer drunk/stoned stag parties there are, the fewer I end up nearly running over with my bike. Fortunately they usually stick to the area around the red light district so I can mostly avoid them.

Seriously, it's a great city to live in, but the big drawback is the stag/hen/just finished exam parties. Particularly the ones on hire bikes all ringing their bells simultaneously. Anyone living here has a pathological fear that a ringing bike bell means you're about to be run over and will immediately check it's not being rung in their direction. Groups of grown men ringing their bells together like small children do my head in.