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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stag doo in Amsterdam

325 replies

Pixienott0005 · 18/04/2016 11:41

Is it me or would most other women feel unsettled about a shed loads of blokes getting rat arsed near the red light district?

OP posts:
TaraCarter · 27/04/2016 21:16

You should expand your circle of male friends. There are lots of men who find the sex trade sordid and unpleasant.

There are. But I suspect that they tend not to be friends with men who arrange stags in Amsterdam, or, if they are, they turn down the invitations.

A stag do in Amsterdam is more likely to involve the sex industry than a night down the local, and men who find the sex industry sordid will take that into account when RSVP'ing.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/04/2016 22:16

If you trust your man doesn't matter where he goes

Fwiw my dh had his stag do in Amsterdam as did his BF

Out of the 6 who went 4 had partners /wives. 2 single. One of the single yes had sex (paid for it) the others all watched a show , had a joint or two and few beers in a cafe /pub

That was it

AvaLeStrange · 27/04/2016 22:20

Nope, it's you.

My DH had hiS stag in Amsterdam - they got stoned and went to Anne Frank'S house.
One guy went MIA but he was single so, meh.

If you trust your partner where he goes for his stag is irrelevant

Boolovessulley · 27/04/2016 22:54

Of course all men don't visit prostitutes, nobody is suggesting that. But plenty do.

Plenty of married men too.

I don't take drugs, never have and never will. Therefore I have absolutely no interest in visiting a cafe where the majority of people are taking drugs.

Same applies for red light areas.
I've been in plenty of red light areas, no interset in using the services and quite frankly the vast majority are seedy as fuck and unpleasant.

EastMidsMummy · 27/04/2016 23:00

The key to this is not the city he's going to but the friends he's going with. If your intended is best mates with a lot of filthy creeps then maybe you should be worried. But it's perfectly possible to go to Amsterdam on a stag weekend and completely ignore the sex industry.

Boolovessulley · 27/04/2016 23:01

My friends husband had his stag do in Amsterdam.
Apparently one of the guys went into a sex show and ended up taking part. From the sounds of it he got quite a bit more than he bargained for. The others found it hilarious.

Blondeshavemorefun · 27/04/2016 23:02

Am I the only one intrigued what is in the museum of cheese? Grin

Surely not mouldy cheese

SquirrelStandoff · 28/04/2016 01:25

AvaLeStrange

"My DH had hiS stag in Amsterdam - they got stoned and went to Anne Frank'S house."

You win the gullible spouse awardFlowers

"If you trust your partner where he goes for his stag is irrelevant"
And the cultural enabling award Flowers

Congratulations

SquirrelStandoff · 28/04/2016 01:28

Tara
A stag do in Amsterdam is more likely to involve the sex industry than a night down the local, and men who find the sex industry sordid will take that into account when RSVP'ing.

This is all that needs to be said

TheDowagerCuntess · 28/04/2016 02:15

DH went to Brighton for his stag do. There's only one reason men would go to Brighton

Maybe he, and his buddies who went along, are all in the closet. Hmm Shock

AvaLeStrange · 28/04/2016 07:46

I saw the photos Squirrels - nothing gullible about it.

I'm sure they also viewed an adult show or two of an evening, but they could've done that anywhere in the UK too.

Wtf is 'cultural enabling'?

SquirrelStandoff · 28/04/2016 07:46

Dowager You might well wonder if going to Brighton is something he starts doing by himself and being cagey about it - but as far as I am aware, going out for 'final fling' gay kicks en masse, would be pretty left field for any British stag do... Unless you are a gay couple maybe?

SquirrelStandoff · 28/04/2016 08:03

An enabling culture is one that makes it easy for unfairness- (such as males taking excessive freedoms, male callousness, dishonesty, deception, intimidating/violent behaviour at the expense of women and girls) to go on in plain sight - ie - suggesting women don' t trust their instincts, or don't question or suspect - that women must just trust a man blindly, even when presented with the pre-emptive cover story of the 'benign photos' day trip to the Anne Frank museum which doesn't quite ring true.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 28/04/2016 08:26

Squirrel I don't know what has happened to you in the past in terms of your relationships but I think to tell someone they are a "gullible spouse" because they actually believe their husband is downright patronising and somewhat offensive. Ava knows her husband. You don't. What the hell gives you the right to claim that he made some "pre-emptive cover story" with some "benign photos"?

If a man came on here spouting the sweeping generalisations about women that you have, they'd be handed their arse on a plate and called a misogynist. You are coming across as a total misandrist now.

What a sad place it must be to never trust anyone whatsoever. Should all women put an electronic tag on their partners to make sure that when they say they are going to watch the football with their brother that's where they actually go? Should all men routinely interrogate their wives who have gone out for the night with a friend and routinely disbelieve them when they say they're going shopping for the day?

Katiepoes · 28/04/2016 08:39

IrishDad you are talking complete shite. Have you actually been in Amsterdam?

SquirrelStandoff · 28/04/2016 08:40

What a sad place it must be to never trust anyone whatsoever
Erm no - I trust based on trustworthy behaviour. A 'yes' rsvp to an Amsterdam stag do invite is not trustworthy.
A trustworthy man says "my mates want me on an Amsterdam stag do- I feel really uneasy about it, I'm sure there'll be pressure at some point to go to the red light district- and seeing women displayed like meat to be bought in the supermarket makes me feel crap about myself as a bloke- you know what, i'm going to say no'...
I have no qualms trusting such a man

Marynary · 28/04/2016 08:57

I would trust DH if he went to Amsterdam on a stag do as I know that he wouldn't be interested in visiting prostitutes or strip clubs as he finds that really sleazy. However, in general I think that apart from getting stoned, the main purpose of organising a stag do in Amsterdam would usually be to visit prostitutes/strips clubs etc. Men rarely go on stag dos with the intention of sightseeing.

Marynary · 28/04/2016 09:00

Erm no - I trust based on trustworthy behaviour. A 'yes' rsvp to an Amsterdam stag do invite is not trustworthy.

To be fair they might feel that they have to go if it is a good friend. I think DH would go and just stay in the cafe/bar or go back to his hotel if his friends visited the red light district.

underrugsswept · 28/04/2016 09:00

I would trust my DH but he would go with strict instructions not to have a lap dance. That's my condition.

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 28/04/2016 09:04

Again, it is PERFECTLY possible to go to Amsterdam and go nowhere near the red light district, which is tiny. You are tarring every single man who opts to go to Amsterdam as a sex tourist! Which is total and utter rot and you know it. In fact, I'm inclined to think you're only saying half of what you say for effect and to get a rise out of some of us.

Whisky2014 · 28/04/2016 09:08

I told my bf about this thread and asked him why a stag would be planned here. His answer: "sex and drugs"
So I'd say someone in the group wants to "have their fill"

StillDrSethHazlittMD · 28/04/2016 09:11

I know some guys who went to Amsterdam for a stag do. They timed it to coincide with a big international football match. Nothing to do with sex whatsoever.

kali110 · 28/04/2016 09:12

still have you not realised that squirrel knows ava's dh and all our partners better than us Grin
But yes i agree, the posts have been purely to get a rise out of people.

SquirrelStandoff · 28/04/2016 09:16

seth interestingly enough, sex traffickers start moving women around to supply the increased demand for prostitution that comes with big sporting events.

Marynary · 28/04/2016 09:23

Again, it is PERFECTLY possible to go to Amsterdam and go nowhere near the red light district, which is tiny. You are tarring every single man who opts to go to Amsterdam as a sex tourist!

Of course it is possible but unless they are really into getting stoned, or there is something specifically on such as a football match, it is likely to be one of the reasons for going to Amsterdam on a stag do.