Page 3 | Stag doo in Amsterdam

Pixienott0005 · 2016-04-18T10:41:08+00:00

Is it me or would most other women feel unsettled about a shed loads of blokes getting rat arsed near the red light district?

HalfpintPixie · 18/04/2016 13:33

Amsterdam is a beautiful city, with a lot more to offer than just hookers.
It depends on what sort of person your dp is. Do they like a smoke? Then they're gonna get high. Does he like to drink? Then he'll probably get rat arsed. Would he want to cheat on you? Then that's probably what he will do, regardless of where he goes.

MrNoseybonk · 18/04/2016 13:34

Depends entirely on your DH and his group of friends, what they're like.
It's a stag night, where some guys like to go crazy, have a final fling, strippers, etc. It's in Amsterdam where things like this are easily available.
I wouldn't think Amsterdam was chosen for it's fine architecture or museums, but doesn't mean they will visit these places.
When I was 22, I went as a single guy with two other single guys and apart from a bit of looking at the girls in their windows as we walked past, none of us went with a prostitute or to a strip show.

Yeahsure · 18/04/2016 13:37

I trust my dh and this wouldn't bother me but LOLZ at the idea that they are just going to peruse the museums and canals of this beautiful city!!

Wincarnis · 18/04/2016 13:38

near the red light district - if they are rat arsed they might not even make it into the red light district (which isn't as bad or as big as people might think)

no i wouldn't worry.

whois · 18/04/2016 13:46

Amsterdam is a super fun city and a great place for a stag do.

If your DH is going to cheat he will do it anyway!

whois · 18/04/2016 13:47

but LOLZ at the idea that they are just going to peruse the museums and canals of this beautiful city

Well maybe a bit LOLZ - but its nicer to get really drunk in a pretty location than get really drunk in scunthorpe.

leelu66 · 18/04/2016 13:49

I thought this thread was going to be about the prevalence of deer poo on the streets of Amsterdam

Mousefinkle · 18/04/2016 13:51

I dated a man when I was younger that was a tour manager and went right across Europe with a band, including Amsterdam. I trusted him 100% and he didn't cheat. If a man's a cheat they'll cheat anywhere.

SquirrelStandoff · 18/04/2016 13:54

I can't believe so many posts saying 'Amsterdam doesn't make you unfaithful'
The reason Amsterdam, Prague, etc are stag do 'destinations' is because of a cultural 'tradition' of the final fling.

They are going to see strippers, sex shows and some of the group will be using prostitutes. There will be alcohol/drugs which can hamper judgement, there will be a very easily accessed sex industry, there will be peer group pressure...
All these ostriches that think that all their men are such perfect specimens that they could be trusted in these conditions!
Why choose Amsterdam for a stag do? Duh?

pearlylum · 18/04/2016 13:56

I'm glad I have an OH that would run a mile from a stag do in Amsterdam- or indeed anywhere.

Ops OH may not have sex with a prostitute, but there are plenty other seedy things to do- watch live sex, strip bars, lap dancing bars, restaurants with naked waitresses.
All grim in my view.

splendide · 18/04/2016 13:58

I used to go there for work once a month and never shagged a prostitute.

Catvsworld · 18/04/2016 13:59

if you don't trust your husband you have bigger issues than stage do

Lots of women sadly try and stop there otherwise lovey husbands controlling them in a way that wouldn't be tolerated the other way round

I think you will find there are working girls in all countries

Puzzledandpissedoff · 18/04/2016 14:00

I agree with everyone who's said you either trust him or you don't, but for me it would be less about whether he could say no to a prostitute, and more about how capable he is of saying no to his mates

I believe it's pretty common on these things for some to go sniggering to the red light area, and the rest to carry on doing something else. Hopefully if this group do the same, it will avoid any awkwardness for him

pearlylum · 18/04/2016 14:00

splendide, but visiting a city for work is quite different to visiting for a stag do.

Yeahsure · 18/04/2016 14:01

They are not necessarily going to use prositutes!

whois
What I mean by my ironic use of 'lolz' is that of course a stag group don't go to Amsterdam to see the beautiful sights. I'm sure they're not all a bunch of unfaithful bastards but they will at the very least smoke weed and see a sex show, otherwise they would go to a million other beautiful cities that aren't full of, errr, weed and sex shows and stag parties!

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 18/04/2016 14:04

men on the whole have to try and be as tolerant Women are put under pressure too

A few women may go to strip shows but they are very different to female strip shows and sex is not on sale or rarely

There isn't a thriving sex business aimed at women there certainly is for men

Women saying they do not want their partners in anyway involved, supporting or using the second industry are not controlling their partners/husbands they are setting out boundaries as to what they find acceptable

Junosmum · 18/04/2016 14:04

DH went to a stag do in Amsterdam, it was fine.

He doesn't do drugs and doesn't cheat on me and doesn't (and never has) slept with prostitutes.

If you don't trust your DP then that's another issue, there's nothing wrong with Amsterdam per se.

ilovesooty · 18/04/2016 14:04

The sex shows are expensive. I can't see most men putting that as a priority over the booze. Obviously looking at girls in the windows is free. In any case a lot of the windows have gone out of business in the last couple of years.

MrBensMrs · 18/04/2016 14:06

*I can't believe so many posts saying 'Amsterdam doesn't make you unfaithful' confused
The reason Amsterdam, Prague, etc are stag do 'destinations' is because of a cultural 'tradition' of the final fling.

They are going to see strippers, sex shows and some of the group will be using prostitutes. There will be alcohol/drugs which can hamper judgement, there will be a very easily accessed sex industry, there will be peer group pressure...
All these ostriches that think that all their men are such perfect specimens that they could be trusted in these conditions!
Why choose Amsterdam for a stag do? Duh?*

This!

FluffyPersian · 18/04/2016 14:11

Genx77 Yes, I've been to Amsterdam 3 times. I've been to the 'Pussenboot' (the amazing cat boat that helps stray cats!) as well as all the usual touristy things... Pankcake houses, Ann Franks house etc. I also went around the red light district - Not a place I'd really want to go again.

If my partner went on a holiday to Amsterdam with his friends, I'd be less worried, if he went on a stag weekend, the 'typical' stag activities are strippers etc. I'm not saying 100% of men follow that mindset or are sheep that would just 'do' what everyone else does (I want to drive tanks on my hen do.. not have a willy hat and see the Chippendales etc) however Amsterdam is very popular for the legalised sex and I'd be concerned that's why it was chosen as a stag destination.

Despite being concerned I'd not'control' my partner or forbid him to go - If I don't trust him, I wouldn't be with him... however I am very black and white in various boundaries within my relationship so my partner is fully aware that if he crosses them, we won't be together.

smalllondon No confrontation, that's cool It's very simply that I wouldn't want to be with a man who would rather pay money to have a stranger take her clothes off, when he has me, at home. I'm not bashing the women who work there, nor other men who go.... but I am not 'cool' with my partner frequenting them and it's something I'm very open about when I get into a relationship so that person can decide whether they've got an issue with that.

WorraLiberty · 18/04/2016 14:18

All these ostriches that think that all their men are such perfect specimens that they could be trusted in these conditions!

You see that comes across as a little bit hysterical to me.

No man or woman has to be a 'perfect specimen', in order to act like a perfectly trustworthy individual.

It's quite possible to visit any country, town or city in this world and refrain from having sex with a stranger.

If you're married to someone who finds it difficult to do that, or if you strongly suspect they find it difficult to do that, you really may as well cut your losses, as they're really not the person for you (or anyone else come to that).

DropYourSword · 18/04/2016 14:20

Am actually amazed at the responses on this thread, which is generally 'got no problem with it, neither should you if you trust your DP'. It's a very different story when an OP asks about their partner going to a strip club, which is generally meet with horror, accusations of 'cool wifeism' towards those that don't have a problem, and a number of posters who would demand their partner not to go.

VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 18/04/2016 14:24

My brother had his stag in Amsterdam. He has been there loads of times as we have old family friends who moved there and the son who is his friend of many years lives there. I know my brothers and they would not go to prostitutes or sex shows. They do love weed though and they would have spent the weekend getting stoned, eating falafels and getting lost near canals. I love Amsterdam because it's an awesome place to get a bit drunk and stoned and wander around! The novelty of the coffee shops is enough for lots of tourists to want to go there.

pearlylum · 18/04/2016 14:25

Well said fluffy.

The sex industry is not full of liberated women making positive choices about their career and use of their bodies. Some may be, but many women end up in the sex industry because their choices are limited.
Many have drug or other lifestyle problems, many are foreign women escaping poverty.

It's not glamorous.

SquirrelStandoff · 18/04/2016 14:27

It's quite possible to visit any country, town or city in this world and refrain from having sex with a stranger.

If you're married to someone who finds it difficult to do that, or if you strongly suspect they find it difficult to do that, you really may as well cut your losses, as they're really not the person for you (or anyone else come to that).

I'm married to someone who wouldn't want to go on a stag do Amsterdam because he knows how seedy, depressing and sexist the whole thing would be for anyone who has respect for women generally and their partner in particular.