To be pissed off re shoes on in the house

[JeVoudrais]

Had visitors round this morning. I didn't answer the door as was occupied and came down 15 mins later.

Shoes on. In my carpeted living room. When they left, I asked DP and he said they always keep shoes on when they come. I expect it is because we have dogs. They know perfectly well that we rug doctored not long ago and that the dogs do not go in the living room with wet or dirty feet, though.

Regardless of how hygienic they think my carpet is, would it not be polite to at least ask regarding shoes? We have always removed shoes ASAP in their house because they take theirs off and it is expected of their guests.

I have OCD and am having a meltdown inside currently. AIBU to tell them in no uncertain terms next time that SHOES ARE NOT ALLOWED and ban them from my house if they want to keep them on?

YANBU

Funnily enough, we always used to wear shoes in the house, until about 10 years ago, we went to stay at someone's house in a Muslim area in Europe. We got used to not having shoes in the house there (and it was very clean) and now we ask people (nicely) to take their shoes off when they come in the house. We have a variety of slippers and sandals for people to use if they feel uncomfortable in bare or stockinged feet.

I'm definitely not germ-phobic, I have a child that many a'time has licked a supermarket floor and I don't freak out and I'm a firm believer in the 45 second (or minutes...) rule for dropped food but I don't want shoes in my house because half the year shoes get covered in snow or rain water or mud, and the other half of the year sand and gravel and dust. I just don't fancy vacuuming and mopping every bloody day!

I'd rather people keep their footwear on then be confronted with bunions and jaggedly yellowed toenails

Exactly, very few people have perfect feet.
Add to that list - toe jam, verrucas, fungal nail infections and flaky disgusting athletes foot (guaranteed to leave foot dandruff all over your lovely cream carpet)

So, which would you rather have coming into contact with your carpet and crawling baby:

Bunions, highly contagious verrucas, yellowing jagged toenails, fungal infections, toe jam and flaking athletes foot!

OR

Shoe!

No contest.
Shoes On wins.

I almost forgot:

Cracked Heels.

A lot of people have cracked heels.
Who knows what bacteria is lurking in those crevasses!

I feel sorry for people who have really smelly feet. I'd imagine that would put them off going to people's houses.

GraysAnalogy,
I forgot about smelly cheesy feet!

And hairy toes!

One of my exes was a Foreman and his feet were terrible no matter what he tried. He would have been mortified having to go in someones house without shoes on

A lot of people are self-conscious about the the look of their feet, especially older people.
It's not fair to expect them to have to sit there with a part of their body on display that they are possibly embarrassed about.
How are your guests supposed to feel relaxed and above all welcomed in your home ?

Strange how entire countries can manage to be shoes off without all these problems of disgusting feet... socks are quite good at keeping athletes foot, verrucas etc. safely tucked away, as are slippers.

Strange how entire countries can manage to be shoes off without all these problems of disgusting feet

Or perhaps there isn't a stigma in those countries because having shoes off is the standard?

But if I decide to make an impromptu visit to someone's house, and I'm wearing sandals, I'm hardly likely to be carrying a pair of socks, or a pair of slippers at all times,'just in case' I encounter a 'shoes off' scenario.

I can't help thinking that this thread has gone a step too far now. I wish someone would put their foot down and give it the boot.

Never really thought about it before but all of my friends do shoes off at each other's houses - I'd always take my shoes off when visiting someone and it's the first thing I do when I get home. Shoes are outdoor things aren't they?

Well I'm going to step up for shoes-on folk liz70 and say we will not be walked all over.

I would rather shoes on than sweaty feet or verrucas.
It's not something I would ever consider asking guests to do.
I would take mine off if you can clearly see they have a gleaming white carpet otherwise I tend to leave mine on.
I damaged the nail of my big toe in uni and it's grotesque to me and I never wear sandals. I often wear converse with no socks and think I would cry if someone asked me to whip off my shoes without warning.
I have had this situation in the past and had to ask to lend socks which was really embarrassing.

Or perhaps there isn't a stigma in those countries because having shoes off is the standard?

Or because they have the sense to wear socks or use guest slippers. I certainly wouldn't be happy about someone spreading athlete's foot in my house but that's never been an issue. Never noticed anyone with bad foot odour in my house either, maybe not wearing shoes all day long helps.

So you deny that there could be differences in stigma?

Of all the homes I've ever been in that required shoes off none have had guest slippers. And quite frankly I wouldn't want to wear someone elses slippers.

maybe not wearing shoes all day long helps
Just because someone allows people to wear shoes in their home doesn't mean they wear shoes all day. I never wear shoes at home unless I'm getting ready to go out - because I'm comfy without, I just don't expect others to not wear theirs when they come here. Also for people who work outside like my ex did he hasn't really got a choice about wearing them all day. Being stuck working outside in wet weather wearing rigger boots isn't conductive to having nice feet I often thought he was going to end up with trench foot

I probably am germ phobic and yes thats a separate issue to being shoes off or not. So please note my 11.45 words as the germs issue are a preference and everyone has different ideas so i live and let live but respecting everyones rules in their home should be universal.

Inland , have been at work so haven't had the chance to reply to what you asked me earlier.

I worded it badly. Offended was a poor word to choose. But when I said I know people who wouldn't like you changing your shoes when you come into their house what I meant is that they would view it as overly familiar, overstepping the mark. They would feel that socks are underwear and you wouldn't strip your trousers off in someone's hallway to change into your comfy indoor trousers, so why would you do the same with your shoes? They would view it as a modesty issue, in the same way that they wouldn't wear sandals, or walk barefoot on the beach.

My DP has evil evil feet. They could gag a maggot, especially after a day at work. I think if anyone asked him to take his shoes off they'd quickly regret it

Well there's no stigma against being shoeless indoors of course Grays, that's an obvious difference, and no stigma against wearing guest slippers (because stigmas against those would seem ridiculous to people in these countries), but there's not an acceptance of passing around verrucas and whatnot.

Are guest slippers washed between each wearer? Just interested, not goading, honest.

I'm also interested in the number of people saying things like 'everyone I know does this' - given that there seems to be no great majority on either side, how can that be? Do we only ever visit the homes of People Like Us? Is there some sort of shoes-off pheromone?

I expect they are pippistrelle I don't have them myself so can't say for sure.

I did know people back in the UK who were shoes on, though the majority of people I knew had a shoes off rule, and of course everyone is shoes off where I live now (Finland) except for my ex who just has to do everything the opposite of everyone else

Shoes come off in my house or you don't come in that's it

Mil stood by the door for 15 minutes before she realised I wasn't joking