To be pissed off re shoes on in the house

[JeVoudrais]

Had visitors round this morning. I didn't answer the door as was occupied and came down 15 mins later.

Shoes on. In my carpeted living room. When they left, I asked DP and he said they always keep shoes on when they come. I expect it is because we have dogs. They know perfectly well that we rug doctored not long ago and that the dogs do not go in the living room with wet or dirty feet, though.

Regardless of how hygienic they think my carpet is, would it not be polite to at least ask regarding shoes? We have always removed shoes ASAP in their house because they take theirs off and it is expected of their guests.

I have OCD and am having a meltdown inside currently. AIBU to tell them in no uncertain terms next time that SHOES ARE NOT ALLOWED and ban them from my house if they want to keep them on?

I find the germ phobia thing a bit ridiculous (unless people genuinely have OCD like the OP). You can quote all the studies you like about microscopic traces of poo, petrol, whatever on shoes, but a) there are bacteria all over the place anyway and b) anyone who has a dog or cat gets those traces on their floor anyway unless they disinfect the paws every single time the animal comes into the house.

I wipe my dog's feet if they are muddy or pooey or something, same as I would clean or remove my shoes if they were obviously dirty. Otherwise no.

You are far more likely to pick up Meningitis and diarrohea from kissing someone hello as they enter your home than from their shoes and E Coli from the sausage rolls they bought with them.

You need this!
I think I'll buy it too, I hate shoes on in my house.

And to the PP above sho said that she wiped her dogs feet, couldnt care less about that. Do you wipe its arse?! Because there is no way on gods green earth I am taking my shoes off in a house with a dog in it, allergy aside, due to shitty arses. A crowd of us were in our friends pub, one of his terriers jumped onto another friends lap and sat down. He buggered off and she was left with a charming poo starfish on her white t shirt.

That bothers me far more than street shoes.

RedOnHerHedd - love the mat

If somebody came to my house and took their shoes off before coming in I would find it incredibly odd! I am also very uncomfortable visiting people's houses who have a shoes off rule, obviously it's their house so their rules but it's uncomfortable nonetheless.

I always take my shoes off on entering someone's house (unless their house is filthy - then I keep them on for my own safety). It's just something I've always done.

I have a relative who insists on shoes off, but they have a dog tramping all over the house, plonking its backside down on the floor where I might put my foot. Dog ownership surely denies you the pleasure of a germ-free floor. There'll be more dog poo and wee residue coming off the pet than any visitor's shoes.

Ive always thought it's polite to offer to take shoes off when entering someone's house if they say no then that's fine...I've learnt sooo much from these posts! But If u can keep germs down in the home then why not

This will run on and on. In my world you never ask anyone to remove their shoes. You don't give anyone slippers and you certainly don't have signs at the door. I do appreciate others are different so live and let live.,

More bacteria in sweaty socks than the sole of your shoe, if they are dirty fair enough but this seems a little over the top

I'd rather people keep their footwear on then be confronted with bunions and jaggedly yellowed toenails. My family prefers bare feet. I want non family to remain shod.

Bogeyface how unpleasant and how many assumptions there are I your 18:33 post.

What is it with a little picket of people on MN needing to insist at every turn that every fucking thing is "a class thing" and that everything they don't do themselves has to be made out to be a horrible middle class aspirational crime.

All over the world there are people who do not have wall to wall carpets but take their shoes off on entering houses. What a small mealy mouthed little pond people must live in not to be able to get their head around the fact there can be differentcultural expectations within a country as well as internationally and that most of what people do in their homes has everything to do with what makes them comfortable and nothing to do with comparing themselves to anyone, or wanting to be like or better than some other apparently homogeneous social group

I grew up in a culture where it is rude to not take off shoes once you enter a home. Believe it or not, there are entire first-world countries like this. Parties do occur in these homes and, guess what, everyone takes off their shoes.

I run a no shoes in the house policy too. I ask tradesmen to remove shoes, and most comply. For those who cannot for health and safety reasons, I have a box of shoe covers. I have a dog - it gets it's paws washed each time it comes in the house.

I remove shoes as a sign of respect when I enter people's homes. The only place I don't remove shoes is my mother-in-law's house because the floors are filthy(I once spent a hour trying to clean her kitchen floor and the water was still black at the end of that hour).

Shoes on or off in my house. Entirely up to you. Generally shoes are on when we come in, make a drink and wander about. Off a bit later when we curl up on the sofa.

If you want me to take shoes off in your house just ask. Not a problem but it wouldn't occur to me unless you ask. You're welcome to my athletes foot as some bugger gave it to me in the first place.

For those panicking about crawling babies and small children, do you not take them to the park to go on the (dirty) swings etc? Or a toddler group with (germ infested) shared toys and floor space? Or do you take hygienic wipes to use before they touch anything?

In my humble opinion it is not the issue whether (the people that have replied) take their shoes off or don't, the point is these family friends know that JeVoudrais is having OCD issues and they take their shoes off in their own house. Taking shoes off is therfore a big part of their life and to not even offer in someone else's house is just plain rude and inconsiderate. I have friends who expect shoes off and those that don't - each to their own!

I always ask if people I visit would like me to remove my footwear. When people come to answer the door wearing house slippers or socks then I don't bother asking. I live in a multicultural area and find it offends the least number of people to do it that way. We don't wear outdoor footwear indoors at home, but I grew up in a home where leaving your shoes off would have been considered strange and also your feet would freeze.

I don't think it's rude to ask others to take off their shoes. I don't do it myself, but as I said, I live in a multicultural area where people have different ideas of what is rude. There are well-educated and well-off people here who hold dinner parties and all sorts of other jolly social events in their homes where they and their guests go barefoot or wear house slippers or socks..

Bumbling, I dislike piles of shoes too, they're a trip hazard! We have a tall narrow shoe-rack by both doors, all outdoor shoes go on there and are hidden by a fabric curtain thing that folds down. Slippers go on a shoe-tree.

Treacle and Madame, if my child goes to someone else's house he will take slip-on plimpsols or moccasins to wear indoors. Even if they have a shoes-on rule I don't want him treading mud/dirt/grass into someone's home nor do I want him to think this is acceptable. How is it rude to wear plimpsols?! I appreciate some people don't want bare feet on their carpets but how is a child in plimpsols or moccasins offensive?

Soft-soled slipper-type shoes are also better for children's feet, I don't want him wearing trainers or leather shoes all day. However, all our friends have shoes-off houses so it really an issue! I guess it may change when he starts school but I will continue to enforce the no-shoes rule. When DSD has friends over they all remove shoes at door and put them back on to go in the garden.

Do you expect your guests, who have gone the bother of carefully choosing an outfit, to then have to sit around with bare feet? confused

Well all my guests expect to remove their shoes indoors, so their outdoor shoes are not part of their outfit! If they don't want to sit around in socks/slippers they bring indoor shoes. Some of my female friends bring party shoes which they put on indoors, and I have a pair of heels that I never wear outdoors but sometimes put on for parties. Thing is, if you're brought up in a shoes-off household (particularly within a shoes-off culture) it is unthinkable to wear outdoor shoes in someone's home, it's the height of rudeness! And it feels completely normal and comfortable to have socks or slippers.

I suspect part of the issue is foot-care! I treat my feet with the same level of care as my hands. They are clean, soft, pedicured and I use deodorising foot-powder every day. I wash them before going to someone's house or if I've been out walking or wearing shoes for a few hours.

I hate having to remove my shoes at one friend's house, because her dogs then insist on licking my feet. It's grim.

After years of living in a country where keeping your shoes on in a house is unthinkable, I'm now a shoes-off person.

If people obviously don't want me to take mine off then I won't in their house. Visit me, though, and you take them off.

at it being a 'new money' thing to remove shoes!

I don't have shag-pile cream carpets. I have wooden floors with patterned silk carpets (giant rugs) but I am not going to roll back my carpets and dettol-mop the floors every time we have a visitor. It's funny how the shoes-on brigade ignore the research about bacteria and still insist their shoes are cleaner than their socks!

What would you do if you went to a traditional Japanese or Iranian restaurant where you sit on the floor (and have to remove shoes)?
What do you do at soft-play?

I'm that taking shoes off is considered such a nuisance/chore. It's not like you're being asked to strip down to your bra and knickers and wear a communal spa-towel!

I wouldn't take my shoes off in a house with dogs. My socks would get hairy.

I wonder if a study of shoes-off and shoes-on people would reveal a higher level of illness in the shoes-on people. I somehow doubt it.

It's obvious from this thread and the many other previous threads on this subject that shoes-on-shoes-off is down to a complex mishmash of culture, class, individual upbringing and lifestyle, attitude to cleanliness, and beliefs about germs around the home (how dangerous they are and how they are most likely to be spread), plus of course wildly varying attitudes to having animals in the home.

Given all those factors, it's hardly surprising we can never convince each other of who's BU. I think it's very unlikely that having shoes on ever causes any actual harm to anyone. So it all comes down to exactly how clean you think it is really necessary to be.

I don't at all mind removing my shoes if people ask me to, but it wouldn't necessarily occur to me to take them off without being asked (unless they were visibly muddy). But admittedly I do have hard floors and can't understand people who have pale carpets.

Inland Yes, I do know people who would find it rude to change your shoes when you come into their house. They don't want to see your socks, however briefly. Doing it outside, before you reach the front door, would of course be fine, but then that would defeat the purpose.

As I've said all along, I don't care one way or another (although I've never been in a shoes off house myself), as far as I'm concerned the person whose house it is gets to choose. But forcing your view of what is good manners on someone else who thinks the opposite is just as bad as them coming to your house and insisting on keeping their shoes on.