To detest our marriage counsellor?

[Discobabe]

Apparently when I say my husband should/could have put our relationship first in certain situations, it's authoritative. Where did I learn those words? No one wants to be bossed around, if they are they might want to know why they should xyz. Am I seriously meant to spell out to my husband why our relationship should (oops, there I go again) come first?

If I disagree with anything she says we sit in long, stony silences until I speak again. I feel like I have words put in my mouth or I have to agree or i'll face the silence......We actually sat for about 5 mins in complete silence.

I've been sent away to think about my daddy issues, on a non cognitive level I have them because he worked away a lot when I was little and I must have missed him and felt neglected by him (hence why I react so strongly when I feel 'neglected' by my husband)....I was never close to my dad when I was little and didn't give a toss that he wasn't around often. Am I.supposed to pretend I was to fit the cliche?

Or am I just horrendously in denial about stuff?

All I can think.is if I had what I though was a fairly normal and good childhood and I'm as fucked up as I am, my kids stand no chance :(

[Twinklestein]

Childish response to being challenged

Erm, she didn't challenge anything?

[Arkhamasylum]

So, anger management.

That WOULD be a counsellor, right?

[Janecc]

Getting back to the point in hand. Op. Have you decided what you will do? This person sounds pretty poor.
I've had good counselling and bad counselling (trainee at MIND was sacked) as well as had CBT and seen a clinical psychologist. I have been both challenged and at times misunderstood. I agree with the majority of people all saying to find someone else. It is so important to have trust and a rapport. You have neither of these things and this lady has turned from being your counsellor and an objective facilitator to abusing your trust.

[OvertheHillandFar]

The stuff about doing a psychology degree then going into marketing is just bizarre, frankly

Why is it bizarre? There are plenty of psych graduates in these careers. Are you not aware of degree- career paths?

There was an implication here - from another poster, agreed- that the Relate counsellor 'didn't have a degree in psychology' and therefore wasn't 'qualified'. You compounded that idea by saying your trauma was dealt with by a psychologist.

Psychology is a broad church- there are all kinds of psychologists. I spend a lot of my professional life talking to child and educational psychologists. None of them are counsellors. I accept you saw a clinical psychologist. I did read all of your post and - amazingly- I did actually understand it. I was making the point that anyone who is a psychologist is not automatically a counsellor. This is what your post and other people's suggested.
So go and stuff your comments too and stop being so rude.

[Janecc]

overthehill