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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell husbands friend not to drink

228 replies

Seeyalater · 13/04/2016 19:40

im pretty sure I'm nbu but my husband thinks I am?!?
My oh is having a friend stay over on sat night (he lives 2hrs away so he stays in spare room), they will go out for dinner and then play PlayStation/drink cider etc which they do every so often. However, I'm 38 weeks preg so husband won't be drinking, and I have said he ought to tell his friend not to have a drink while here as if I go into labour he will need to go home. Dh thinks he will be ok just to be in another room.... Shock I can't seem to get him to understand that having a random about the house when I'm
Labouring is not ok Angry

OP posts:
Dutchess61 · 13/04/2016 20:04

Why is the OP getting such a hard time. She's heavily pregnant and the last thing she wants is a pissed bloke in her house.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 20:04

im pretty sure I'm nbu - I'm pretty sure you're wrong there...

RudeElf · 13/04/2016 20:07

Where is the hard time? Confused

BackforGood · 13/04/2016 20:09

YABU.

If it's in the night, then he'll be asleep anyway.
Then presumably the following day he'd go home anyway.

The first few hours of most first labours are that dramatic / screaming.... that tends to kick in when you get to the hospital stage (unless you are having a home birth I suppose) Grin

the odds are, you won't be in labour anyway, but if you are, i@m sure you can face that situation as it arises. You can't really restrict other peoples social lives on the offchance you might go into labour at any likely point over about a 4 week period Grin

MadamDeathstare · 13/04/2016 20:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackforGood · 13/04/2016 20:11

OPisn't getting a hard time.
Why do you think he will be pissed? Being over the drink drive limit doesn't have to equate to being pissed.

Dutchess61 · 13/04/2016 20:12

The OP is almost ready to pop, why can't the husband respect this and spend time with her instead of getting pissed and gaming?

Are you reading what Im reading Rude.

MyAmDeryCross · 13/04/2016 20:12

Labour isn't really as dramatic as you think. As long as your partner can put you first and ignore his friend if you do go into labour it should be fine. Friend will definitely be gone by the time you come back with baby!

I was going to go in to work morning after my waters broke with first baby. Only reason I didn't was because I was having tens machine delivered that day and I needed to be in to sign for it.

HermioneWeasley · 13/04/2016 20:13

OP, YANBU. At 38 weeks you are considered full term and could go into labour at any point. Of course you don't want your husband's friend in the house, and your husband needs to be sober in case you go into labour.

FFS! She's gestating and giving birth to his child, asking him to rearrange his PlayStation buddy isn't asking much.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/04/2016 20:13

YABU

He's a guest in your house.

Original poster
Seeyalater · 13/04/2016 20:16

Surprised at the responses here (got to love Aibu)
It's not my first baby, so I know how labour goes. I'll aim to stay home for a decent amount of time and go in for the last bit.

OP posts:
RudeElf · 13/04/2016 20:19

The OP is almost ready to pop, why can't the husband respect this and spend time with her instead of getting pissed and gaming?

No-one has said any different than this! People have said she should postpone the visit and that she cant tell friend not to drink. Her husband isnt planning on getting pissed. He wont be drinking.

are you reading the same thread as everyone else?

BiftasWifta · 13/04/2016 20:19

Is there a travelodge/premier inn nearby? Could he come to your house to game/have a few drinks but stay elsewhere just incase?

Aposey · 13/04/2016 20:20

YANBU, and all those saying he can get a taxi, well you must be rolling in it since a 2 hour taxi ride would cost a fortune!

Early labour might not be dramatic but I think the OP has the right to have a bit of privacy while it is happening and not to have to share the house with someone she isn't comfortable with.

She isn't saying he can't stay, just that he needs to be capable of leaving if necessary. When did it become impossible to have fun without getting drunk anyway! Surely the friend can manage to stay under the limit for one night and still enjoy himself, and if not then he really has a bit of a problem!

shazzarooney99 · 13/04/2016 20:20

You cant tell his friend not to drink, if the friend has to stay over till morning when he can drive i dont see nothing wrong with that to be honest.

RudeElf · 13/04/2016 20:20

asking him to rearrange his PlayStation buddy isn't asking much.

Except that wasnt what she was proposing. That is what others here have suggested. OP was proposing to have friend there but tell him not to drink.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 13/04/2016 20:21

Surprised at the responses here (got to love Aibu) - Ah! But are you willing to accept them?! Grin

OddSocksHighHeels · 13/04/2016 20:22

See I think most people are disagreeing because of how you worded it. If you'd said you aren't comfortable having a guest so close to your due date then I could understand but you really can't tell another adult that they aren't allowed to drink.

proudmom135 · 13/04/2016 20:24

How often will the friend visit the house? Other than drinking and playing PS, do they have something more important to do? If none, ask your husband to reschedule their agreement because by anytime you might pop up and the husband can't assist you 100%.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 13/04/2016 20:24

Why would he need to go home if you go into labour? If it's early in the evening and he hasn't had a drink he can; if it's later and you and Dh go off, he kips in the spare room as planned and goes in the morning.

Really OP, it's a non issue.

Dutchess61 · 13/04/2016 20:25

I'd just be telling husband that it's too near due date and to cancel. I wouldn't be trying to be fair. It would piss me off to have him in the house anyway.

Does OP have to give a set of keys to mate just in case to lock up after himself too?

arandomname · 13/04/2016 20:26

YANBU.

Honestly, I don't know why I bother to look at AIBU these days, it just makes me Angry.

Seeyalater of course you're not being unreasonable. 38 weeks is effectively term.
Your DH should be sober, and asking his friend to refrain form drinking in your home when you're that pregnant is reasonable - why wouldn't it be?

If he can visit and not drink, great. If not they can rearrange. What's the big deal?

You are giving birth, now that is a big deal!

Please ignore the people having a go at you, they would have had a go at the friend if he asked if he was being unreasonable to drink at the home of a heavily pregnant woman.

They just like to have a go IMO.

Runningupthathill82 · 13/04/2016 20:26

YABU and oddly controlling. You're going to be 38 weeks, so labour is possible but unlikely. If you do go into labour, the friend is hardly likely to want to hang around, and will make himself scarce asap, I suspect.

I was 38 weeks pg over Christmas just gone. If I'd policed the amount all our house guests were drinking we'd have been in for a pretty strained time.

It's unlikely your DH will have many more nights in with his mate over the next few weeks, so I think it'd be petty to do anything that puts a dampener on this one.

lulucappuccino · 13/04/2016 20:27

Yabu! Of course he could stay in the spare room. Telling your dh to not drink is ridiculous too.

BackforGood · 13/04/2016 20:27

Well, even better then. If he is in the house and you have other dc that need looking after, you and dh can go to hospital and you have a ready made babysitter already in place - no need to disturb the grandparents or whoever you would have to get in to look after your older one(s).

You should ask him if he can stay for a week Grin