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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell husbands friend not to drink

228 replies

Seeyalater · 13/04/2016 19:40

im pretty sure I'm nbu but my husband thinks I am?!?
My oh is having a friend stay over on sat night (he lives 2hrs away so he stays in spare room), they will go out for dinner and then play PlayStation/drink cider etc which they do every so often. However, I'm 38 weeks preg so husband won't be drinking, and I have said he ought to tell his friend not to have a drink while here as if I go into labour he will need to go home. Dh thinks he will be ok just to be in another room.... Shock I can't seem to get him to understand that having a random about the house when I'm
Labouring is not ok Angry

OP posts:
Netflixandchill · 13/04/2016 22:22

me and DH traveled quite far when I was 38 weeks pregnant with DS and we stayed with a friend of his. They said they were nipping out to the pub and were gone for 7 hours, I was left in a virtual strangers house with no wifi or anything to do. Worst weekend ever! I was terrified that I was going to go into labour hundreds of miles from home with no way of contacting anyone! Put your foot down if you don't want the pissed up mate hovering round you.

TeatimeForTheSoul · 13/04/2016 22:23

YANBU!
Sorry haven't read whole thread but unless a grown adult has a serious alcohol dependency (DTs if they do 't drink) they do not need to drink. I'm sure any responsible adult would completely understand.

CoolforKittyCats · 13/04/2016 22:23

Still people think having a drink = 'pissed up' or drunk.

OddSocksHighHeels · 13/04/2016 22:30

I must say that I'm actually worried about people reading the OP and assuming pissed. She says that nowhere! The safe level to drive (why he couldn't leave himself) and being pissed are nothing remotely the same. Why are people confusing the two?

RedHead02 · 13/04/2016 22:33

No need to get on your high horse. Yes, I tend to do most of the housework (I prefer to) but I work from home so it just gets done. i hope that satisfies your curiosity. My point was simple..why can't it just be accepted that OP doesn't want her husband's adult mate lounging around on her sofa playing PlayStation?

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 13/04/2016 22:35

Dutchess61 i dont think anyone that pregnant can be arsed with a partner doing that at 38 weeks preg n mine would think it was incredibly selfish but hasnt the man got any say? It dosent need to be an allnighter im sure i think its give n take in a relationship

gamerchick · 13/04/2016 22:35

My OH may have a meal then come home. He doesn't do sleepovers or have a playstation. My 18 yo son has even grown out of his playstation

Yeah playstations are shit.

RedHead02 · 13/04/2016 22:35

Also it is quite possible to be someone who has lived a life (one where people don't equate 2 drinks to being hammered) and still think this is not a case of the OP being U.

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 13/04/2016 22:35

Childish not selfish

RedHead02 · 13/04/2016 22:37

"Hasn't the man got any say?"

He can't surely be that desperate to play PlayStation with his chum that he can't just accept that his wife can't be arsed with it. Jesus Christ.

OddSocksHighHeels · 13/04/2016 22:38

Me? I'm not on a high horse. I'm saying her DH could do the cleaning/tidying/cooking for his friend. You straight awayassumed OP would do it which made the rest of us wrong. I wasn't talking about your own arrangements, just why you wouldn't think OP's DH could be the one to do them. I don't get why that question has upset you so much Confused

arethereanyleftatall · 13/04/2016 22:39

Redhead - are you sure you're not uptight? You're certainly getting very wound up on this thread.

Chocolatefudgecake100 · 13/04/2016 22:40

No but im sure hes not forcing her to sit there n join in id just buggar off to my bed with a book or watch tele im not saying id enjoy it or want it but id accept it once in a while cos hes got needs too and its worrying how worked up you are about this? Are you ok? Bizzare

ForTheSakeOfFuck · 13/04/2016 22:41

As far as I'm concerned YANBU. At all. 38 weeks is prime baby time. As an absolute bare minimum you should be allowed to set a parameter (no drinking) so that you don't have a third wheel getting under foot in the event that you go into labour. In my view they have a simple choice: no drinking, or no visit.

RudeElf · 13/04/2016 22:42

I do however think you are a being a bit weird

Confused in what way am i being weird?

OddSocksHighHeels · 13/04/2016 22:46

Probably up on that high horse with me Rude

I'm properly baffled by this thread.

Sallystyle · 13/04/2016 22:47

I think YABU

And yes I have given birth. Five times in fact, with 1 hour labours.

If you don't want him there because you are heavily pregnant and just don't feel like visitors that is one thing and totally reasonable. If the only reason you object is because you might go into labour then YABU. He just needs to put a plan in place incase it happens.

Dutchess61 · 13/04/2016 22:51

Im more concerned about the OP thinking she's being unreasonable.

treaclesoda · 13/04/2016 22:56

I was going to say the exact opposite of Redhead02, that it's only on mumsnet that I've ever come across women refusing to allow their partners to drink*/leave the house/have friends over when they are in the late stages of pregnancy.

*for context I'm talking about having a couple of beers with a friend, not going on a three day bender, which would obviously be very different

RudeElf · 13/04/2016 22:56

dutchess how am i being weird?

treaclesoda · 13/04/2016 23:01

Although, to follow up my post, it's perfectly acceptable to not want to have visitors/have someone drinking in your house, I'm not saying its unreasonable behaviour. Just that it's not something I've come across in 'real life'.

amarmai · 13/04/2016 23:03

does your h realise you are this anxious? I am hoping he is not invalidating how you feel , as when you have the baby you will need support and help from him.

Dutchess61 · 13/04/2016 23:04

What you say is a bit weird in that Im sort sitting here thinking I'm not sure what you mean, that sort of weird.

RudeElf · 13/04/2016 23:07

Sorry i have no clue what you just said or meant. Are you sure its me who is weird?

RudeElf · 13/04/2016 23:08

Are you saying I'm weird because you dont understand what i mean? Is that it?

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