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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell husbands friend not to drink

228 replies

Seeyalater · 13/04/2016 19:40

im pretty sure I'm nbu but my husband thinks I am?!?
My oh is having a friend stay over on sat night (he lives 2hrs away so he stays in spare room), they will go out for dinner and then play PlayStation/drink cider etc which they do every so often. However, I'm 38 weeks preg so husband won't be drinking, and I have said he ought to tell his friend not to have a drink while here as if I go into labour he will need to go home. Dh thinks he will be ok just to be in another room.... Shock I can't seem to get him to understand that having a random about the house when I'm
Labouring is not ok Angry

OP posts:
RudeElf · 14/04/2016 09:47

Pm me paul. With nice words only! Ive been a cunt twice today already Grin

OddSocksHighHeels · 14/04/2016 09:48

Really Paul? I'm crap at noticing these things.

Worra Grin

Inertia · 14/04/2016 09:53

I wouldn't particularly want my husband's friends around the house while I was in labour - and there is a fair chance of going into labour at 38weeks.

The problem is that the friend lives so far away. Taxi isn't feasible, OP has already said that there is no local public transport. Even if the friend doesn't drink, it might pan out that labour starts but the friend can't safely drive - e.g. the men stay up until 2am playing, and OP 's waters break at 3am.

Does it have to be an overnight thing? Couldn't your husband just tell his friend to come for lunch / dinner, spend some time playing the game in the afternoon, and then friend drives home?

Mousefinkle · 14/04/2016 10:03

When I was 37 weeks with DC2 exH had to go away for four days with work. I remember shitting my pants that I'd go into labour and he'd miss it. But I didn't, she was late just as DC1 was.

Most babies are late, not many come at 38 weeks. You can't put your life on standby in anticipation, chances of the baby coming that night are slim. Also don't see an issue with him staying, he's not a stranger is he! You're hormonal, I'm blaming that.

squoosh · 14/04/2016 10:24

I love the 'tomorrow I will be even better than today' ad slogan that appears above 'what does it feel like to be a nasty cunt?'

Grin
LagunaBubbles · 14/04/2016 10:41

squoosh Grin

RudeElf · 14/04/2016 11:09

Grin!

amarmai · 14/04/2016 12:52

obv some m2b are more relaxed than others=no kudos and no blame for the ones who are not. It's down to many aspects of personality, partner ,relationship, family, support, health , life circums, etc. No need for any of the criticism some pps have posted for op. Whatever you need at this pre birth time ,op, is what your h shd be providing. Hope everything will go well before, during and after .

merrymouse · 14/04/2016 12:58

YANBU at all.

All you are saying is that if he visits he must be able to leave the house if you go into labour, therefore he must be able to drive and won't be able to drink.

Klaptrap · 14/04/2016 13:06

YANBU IMO - either he visits and doesn't drink so he can leave if necessary, or he doesn't visit. I can entirely appreciate that you don't want him stuck with you on the off-chance you go into labour while he is visiting. Your husband is being unreasonable not to see this from your POV.

TBH - if I was visiting a friend and no one else in the household was drinking, I wouldn't feel comfortable doing so and would refrain anyway.

kali110 · 14/04/2016 13:41

Wow some very nasty judgemental people on here.
The friend and dh aren't catches because they happen to play on play stations, we're back to that?
How sad.
Would it be better if they were out getting pissed in a club? Confused
rude can't believe she inboxed you that! How sad!
Says you've lost the argument when you sink that low Grin
So if the df stays sober so he can drive, how does he still manage to get home when the dh has picked him up? What does it matter if he has a few drinks if he has to get a taxi anyway?? People who have had alcohol can get a taxi!
Having a few drinks certainly does not have to equal falling over/being sick or being to pissed to stand, well certainly not in my circle.

amarmai · 14/04/2016 13:49

and how about the pps judging the 38 week pregnant woman , who just wants to not worry about giving birth? nasty,huh?

kali110 · 14/04/2016 14:00

They've just answered whether they thought she was unreasonable, and so far people have picked on her dh and one poster has actually been sent abusive pm Hmm

merrymouse · 14/04/2016 14:17

isn't this more about the friend planning his exit route than anything else? there is nothing wrong with getting a taxi, but where I live taxis are expensive and you might have to wait a while, so any visitor with a car would be better off making sure they could drive.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 14/04/2016 14:23

Kali that poster was just a nasty little troll who sent the exact same pm to everyone who disagreed with her last night. Complete weirdo.

OddSocksHighHeels · 14/04/2016 14:24

ama I don't think anybody has judged her. People haven't agreed with her is all.

kali 3 posters. Me and Paul got the same PM as well.

summerdreams · 14/04/2016 14:28

Yanbu and I think 38 weeks chances of going in to labour are reasonable but I dont think you can tell him not to drink instead maybe dont have him over. Chocolate

summerdreams · 14/04/2016 14:32

Also everyone saying she wont go into labour at 38 weeks my cousin is in labour today at 37 weeks and my son was born at 33 weeks I think it's sensible to think you could go into labour and not want dhs friend there if you do

merrymouse · 14/04/2016 14:34

He might be happy not to drink though - if it's a good friend I don't think it's rude to give him some options.

Slowlygettingthehangofthings · 14/04/2016 14:41

YANBU at all. I think you're being more than reasonable having a house guest (even for one night) so late in your pregnancy. It was a reasonable compromise to ask the guest to remain fit to drive, just in case.
I cannot believe the poster who called you controlling! Your husband has a child on the way ffs! Christ, my husband was too afraid to touch a drop from 36 weeks.

Tightywalterwhities · 14/04/2016 15:19

I don't think YABU at all, but then I couldn't be arsed with having overnight visitors at all at 38 weeks!

kali110 · 14/04/2016 16:04

paul odd oh my god Grin

LagunaBubbles · 14/04/2016 17:05

and how about the pps judging the 38 week pregnant woman , who just wants to not worry about giving birth? nasty,huh?

It fascinates me that sometimes when people have a different opinion and say YABU for instance there's always someone who does agree with OP (fair enough) accusing others of "judging". I dont see anyone judging OP here at all - only disagreeing with her and saying you cant tell another adult not to drink. If her DHs visitor doesnt mind not - great, but I think the issue is agreeing to have an overnight visitor in the first place - at 38 weeks pregnant if you are conscious of someone else being there when in labour.

itsbetterthanabox · 14/04/2016 22:26

Yanbu of course you can ask someone not to drink alcohol in your home.
If you do go into labour it will be hassle plus being that pregnant with a pissed person about won't be fun.
People are obsessed with alcohol.

tobysmum77 · 15/04/2016 07:43

It's pretty unlikely you'll go into spontaneous labour at 38 weeks tbh with no signs prior to this mate turning up. Do you have a history of labouring early? I realise that it's possible and it will have happened to loads of people on here but even so. Do you have a tent for the worst case scenario? If you were going to be 39.5 weeks plus I would say avoid overnight house guests Smile