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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to just wash the fucking bear?

174 replies

NoCapes · 10/04/2016 14:42

DD has a comfort blanket/bear thing
She has slept with it every night since we took her dummy away, around 11/12 months-ish, she sucks on it so now the poor fucker has no legs and is in a right old state

She also refuses to let me wash him
I have done against her wishes a few times and she has literally sat and watched him spin around the washing machine crying until he came out, then not slept properly for around 3/4 nights afterwards
So I gave up and let her crack on
He hasn't been in the wash for a few years now Blush

Now the issue is- He fucking stinks!
Really really stinks! If the heating has been on and you go in her room you can smell him! It's grim

Now DD has recently turned 5, I asked her if I could wash bear so he was fancy for her birthday - she said no so I didn't
Now I'm changing the bedding today, and DD isn't here, would I be a heartless cow if Bear accidentally got tangled up in the bedding and had a wash?
I fear it's a matter of health and safety at this point?

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 19:41

Her Chums Grin that's hilarious

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 10/04/2016 19:45

I will have outed myself to anyone who knows us as she has called them her chums as long as she could talk. Which feels like forever . . .

paxillin · 10/04/2016 19:56

Yes, bear in our house has infrequent baths and they are needed. Bear was probably 50% dust mite poo by now. Should he ever get lost you will have to chew and suck the other one super fast, take it in shifts with your family, he'll be legless and "loved" in no time.

UpsiLondoes · 10/04/2016 20:00

I'm totally with your DD - you don't drown your beloved bear in a washing machine?! Does no one do toy "baths" where you handwash the dirty stinkers? My kids love giving their toys baths and seeing them "blow" tummy bubbles.

giraffesCantReachTheirToes · 10/04/2016 20:05

I need to know if she noticed

Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 20:06

She's in bed
She held Bear on her usual grip and looked...surprised
She was rubbing him and giving me the side eye all the way through her bedtime story
She didn't say anything, but she's definitely on to me...

OP posts:
airside · 10/04/2016 20:07

Maybe she's glad he doesn't smell but doesn't want to admit you were right!

Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 20:08

paxillin that is exactly why Bear lives in her bed now and isn't to be moved
I have had the stomach churning panic of a lost Bear too many times so now he is bed bound forever
The thought of having to suck the legs off a new one makes me feel a bit gippy Envy

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 20:09

Haha maybe airside she is a stubborn little bugger (obviously!) she will never admit that I was right!

OP posts:
Passmethecrisps · 10/04/2016 20:09

Our doggy is like a second child. I spend my life looking for that dashed thing

RandomMess · 10/04/2016 20:10

AW how cute!!!!

Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 20:18

Passme I had a real 'wtf has my life become' moment when I was in a theme park with my DC, a friends DS and my nieces and I was including the Bear in my head counts HmmGrin

OP posts:
Alohamora · 10/04/2016 20:22

My DS fell to n love with his cuddly dog when he was only a few months old. Eventually doggy was going everywhere with us so I thought I'd better buy a back up. Doggy 2 was hidden in the cupboard and was eventually found and DS was over the moon.

A few years ago Santa brought doggy 3 as this doggy was homeless and needed a boy to love him. DS squeezed with delight!

Last year doggy 4 turned up. There will be no more doggies!!! GrinGrin

paxillin · 10/04/2016 20:25

Should I ever have another baby I will buy five identical teddies when I am still pregnant. They will be rotated religiously so it doesn't matter if we lose the bear. Kid will only ever know they have one bear.

Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 20:25

Oh...she's crying
Fucking Bear!

OP posts:
madwomanbackintheattic · 10/04/2016 20:38

In August Dh and dd1 dropped dd2 off for a week long trip a five hour drive away. When he got there, he realized he had forgotten bunny. He called me in a panic and we collectively sweated for fifteen minutes over what to do. I decided to get bunny and ds1 and I drove to meet him half way. So I set off and drove for 2.5 hours in a ferocious rain storm and we had a bunny handover at a roadside fast food joint. Then I drove 2.5 hours back home and he drove back to dd2 for the emotional reunion. Then he drove the 5 hours back. Dh and dd1 got back at just after midnight, after 15 hours driving. Ds1 and I only had 5 hours driving. Lucky us...

Dd2 was 11. But we knew that she was going to find the trip hard in any case, and the idea of her having to sob herself to sleep every night as well just for the sake of the forgotten bunny was awful.

The damned thing gets washed whenever it needs to though. The least she can do if we are willing to put a collective 20 hours driving in within a day to keep the pair of them together is to let us wash it when it is a health hazard. Bunny used to be white with a jaunty green and yellow polka dot bandana. He now has one eye and is entirely uniformly greige. (The eye incident did indeed happen in the washing machine, sssssshhhhhhh).

Original poster
NoCapes · 10/04/2016 20:42

Wow madwoman that is commitment!!

OP posts:
MissTriggs · 10/04/2016 20:44

oh dear, is she ok?

I don't wash my bear - he is DS's now. We are both in good health.

MissTriggs · 10/04/2016 20:47

I think attachment to bears is just about the nicest thing about children, I'm sure the tears are a sign of depth of character.

HelenaJustina · 10/04/2016 20:57

My DDs soft toy (discontinued and irreplaceable I've tried!) has to be washed occasionally otherwise it smells like the bottom of a parrots cage. It has to be done inside a pillow case and in a fairly gentle wash as her favourite bit is the extremely fragile label!

Sorry DD is upset OP, but you did the right thing! My DD is 6 and I do now ask her to bring him to be washed and she does but reluctantly.

Enkopkaffetak · 10/04/2016 20:59

OP if it makes you feel better..

DD3 had her Rara (a rabbit) and he was such a huge part of our life that now about a year and a half after he has " left" us (now lives in a box in her room) I miss him and go all AWWW when ever anything comes up on facebook w him in.

GherkinsOnToast · 10/04/2016 20:59

We used to wash Monkey but now he has had surgery to insert a tracking chip pacemaker he can no longer be washed. When we used to wash him once he was dry I would tuck him into my bra and crazy him about all day, DD would then rub him under DH's arm to make him smell good again. Monkey now has a cuddly of his own, he hugs Lambie blankie and can't be separated or Monkey can't sleep at night!

We travel abroad a lot hence Monkey's pacemaker, when we are anywhere he is left in bed and may NOT be removed from the room.

Foxyloxy1plus1 · 10/04/2016 21:01

I feel your pain OP. My daughter had a pink teddy from the day she was born- imaginatively named Teddy. It was a nightmare to get him in the washing machine and being pink, he was frequently quite grey.

He had embroidered eyes, nose and mouth and became so threadbare that we had to recover him, using a plain pink babygro at regular intervals. We used to tell her that he was going for a makeover. He went absolutely everywhere with us, even on holiday abroad and was lost and found more times than I care to think of.

SoMuchToBits · 10/04/2016 21:14

Shock Bear

MissTriggs · 10/04/2016 21:14

DD would then rub him under DH's arm to make him smell good again

ROFL