Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Brother and sister in law nasty to me

194 replies

AllHailKingRobb · 10/04/2016 09:12

I have just joined mumsnet though I have lurked on threads I see pop up on facebook so thought this was the best place to come to get a straight answer.

This time last year i was with my ex boyfriend and had depression pretty bad, I live in a different country to my brother and sister in law but came home for a week to clear my head. Sil had had depression before and said she was always there to help, to her defense she messaged frequently and even offered to get the anti depressants I am on for me (I pay in my country quite a lot and it's cheaper in england) I refused and managed anyway. She married my brother in june and asked me to be her bridesmaid which i accepted. I split up with my boyfriend in May 2015 and they married in June 2015 so I attended alone. Everything seemed fine.

I will not lie and say during my depression i cheated on my ex boyfriend in December 2015. We split briefly for a week then got back together in April then split in may again. I then dumped him and got with the man i cheated on him with in July 2015.

My new boyfriend had a silly made up name on facebook at the time and brother started taking the mick. I was so upset, he is my new boyfriend ffs! Surely it's nicer to make him feel settled in the family? Brother said he was sorry and thought it was light hearted and apologised but i think he is just mean and nasty. After that my new boyfriend had some issues whcih led to him being in hospital and my brother kept messaging and asking how he was, how i was doing. I i ignored him. He was horrible to my boyfriend and made him feel like rubbish so I didn't want to talk to him anymore and i felt like the messages were to try and make him "good guy" and i don't buy it

In about august sil uploaded a photo about how water could be thicker than blood and her and her friend commented on the photo, she only normally uploads jokey photos or quotes she likes that dont have relevance to her but her and her friend commented below which i feel was digs at me. I thought this was so rude. I knew it was about me but she then had the nerve to message that week asking how the depression was and i ignored it. She claimed she also posted me a necklace for my birthday but i never got it. Hmm She said it was signed for my end though on her tracking service (she sent it to my ex boyfriends house, i did tell her to as I was still moving my stuff out and going back) the signature she said was not readable so she got her money refunded. I just don't believe her. That photo was clearly aimed at me.

Anyway my two newphews birthdays are in the summer. I did send something for them but i did not pay for recorded and it got lost. My brother let me know nothing was received. He said not to worry, it happens but I could tell he did not believe i had sent it.

After this i had enough! I stopped liking anything by sil and brother on facebook. He had been nasty to my new boyfriend and she was uploading nasty memes, they are honestly a nasty pair of work! I chose not to send anything to my nephews for xmas either, why on earth would i? we wasn't talking and this is where it all blew up. I hadn't replied to any messages from brother and sister in law had withdrawn from facebook posting (think she restriced me) My brother messaged me some time last year asking what was up and I told him about the meme, he says sil had been upset about not much contact with her brother (apparentely somethng boring happened like they lost their family home) and her brother had not been in much contact trying to sort it and she felt upset. I don't believe this. She never once mentioned before about losing her family home all though i know she now has and she never mentioned on facebook about her brother.... seems like a cover up and she feels bad for being childish.

It was my brothers 30th not long ago and I am pregnant with my new boyfriend and i am so happy about it. I simply messgaed on his birthday Happy birthday brother, have a lovely day and you are gong to be an uncle. He didn't reply and I was so annoyed. He is about to be an uncle and doesn't care??! I blocked him on facebook and did the same to sil. I can't be bothered with them.

Sil then messaged and i think it was nasty. She said she wants to sort it out all of us, it's silly, she said my brother didnt reply as he didn't know what to say. WHen it old him i was pregnant i had been with my new bf 7 months so he thought it was all rushed and she said he was concerned about me due to my issues with the depression and worried it was all hasty. How judgemental can you get?! Rather than just congratulate me he was just judging me on my choices! She also said she felt it was quite nasty ignoring the kids. Why would i send stuff for the kids when they have been horrible to me?! She's being nasty expecting a card for them after the way they have acted! She then had the cheek to say my eldest newphew asked about it. He is 6. why would he ask why he didn't get anything for me? Just to make me feel bad. He clearly never asked about me at all.

I ignored it anyway and told my mum and my cousin and aunt. They didn't say much but mum has said my brother is judgemental to so i think she's on my side. She has now fell out with my brother to which makes me think even more she is on my side. She called my brother a black sheep before so i know she regards me higher than him.

Anyway aibu? Why on earth would i sent gifts when they have been nasty and sil uploads things clearly aimed at me? I just want to stay out of touch now and won't ever talk to them again unless they apologize.

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/04/2016 13:50

I suffer from depression and anxiety but your selfishness is staggering! Do everyone a favour - go NC with your brother and his family, it sounds like they would all be better off without you. And perhaps spend the time between now and when your baby is born growing the fuck up Smile

Like I said in a previous post, don't come back whinging when your family doesn't shower you and your kid with presents when it is born though - it works both ways.

inlawsareasses · 10/04/2016 13:53

Was your boyfriend's name John 'bad boi' Smith 😅

Or was it John 'madhead' jones 😅😅

If I was your sil I'd be doing a little happy dance that you and bad boi had fell out with me

DownstairsMixUp · 10/04/2016 13:53

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Youarentkiddingme · 10/04/2016 14:00

Gosh what a mountain out of a molehill.

I wonder if all this comes from a combination of your depression and guilt/embarrassment you feel for cheating?

Needless to say you paint a great picture of your DB and SIL until the point he took the piss out of BF name.
At the point he did, and apologises when pulled up on it is about the point this should have ended.

BoatyMcBoat · 10/04/2016 14:12

I was going to post a long reply, but then I couldn't be bothered, so have Biscuit instead.

curren · 10/04/2016 14:21

I do believe these people exist. I reckon if I posted about my ex mother in law and sister in law (wasn't on mn then) I'd get accused of being a troll.

me too. People like this do exist. And rarely have any clue they are the problem.

EverySongbirdSays · 10/04/2016 14:31

I have not read the full thread but your OP is ridiculous and reads like it was written by a Little Britain sketch character.

YABVVU and need to grow up and approach life and relationships in an adult way and stop thinking the world revolves around you.

SootSprite · 10/04/2016 14:45

OP, make sure you've finished all your homework in time for school tomorrow 🙄

emotionsecho · 10/04/2016 14:45

It's probably a good idea if you do stay out of their lives, OP, as you don't sound like a very nice person at all.

TitaniumSpider · 10/04/2016 14:58

If you have blocked your SIL on FB then she can't send you messages?

Scotlandorbust · 10/04/2016 15:03
Biscuit
Bohemond · 10/04/2016 15:20

I advise that you go no contact immediately. Your brother and SIL will be very relieved. They sound entirely normal.

Maryz · 10/04/2016 15:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TitaniumSpider · 10/04/2016 15:29

Maryz I think that the deletion message will be 'something like that' rather than the comprised identity. I could be wrong though Grin

Maryz · 10/04/2016 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Alisvolatpropiis · 10/04/2016 16:59

I can easily believe people like the op exist.

Reminds me a great deal of my cousin. She's always the wronged party as well, totally oblivious to her own appalling behaviour.

stupidgreatgrinonmyface · 10/04/2016 19:11

Not expecting OP to return, but, incase she does: your posts make you sound ridiculously self-centered and determined to find a slight in everything your poor DB and SIL do. Just because a person doesn't post every detail of their life on fb, it doesn't mean they are lying. Somebody very close to me is about to undergo a particularly nasty, major OP this week. I haven't posted about it on fb at all. But trust me, it is happening and I am not lying about it. Also, why do you have such a problem with SIL 'only' having 90 fb friends? I have far fewer than that, because my fb friends are all actual friends, not random internet acquaintances. Your willingness to use your nephews to make a point about their parents' supposed poor treatment of you, makes you appear mean spirited and nasty. TBH, if this is real, I think your DB and his family will be at better off without you.

leelu66 · 10/04/2016 22:53

OP, glad to see you open to the idea that you are BU, I wasn't expecting that.

Caffeinator · 11/04/2016 08:36

I don't believe a word of this.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page