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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to want to have been offered some money?

574 replies

Blitzburgher · 09/04/2016 23:03

Just back from dinner at a friend's. Five couples in total, lovely evening. Slightly late because of nipping to the shop for cigarettes for DH on the way there. Texted friend when at shop "There in 15 mins, do you need anything from Waitrose?" just as a pleasantry really. Received reply "Yes - can you get 4 bottles red wine, crisps, dips and bottle vodka". Slightly shocked - was expecting something like 'OMG just run out of milk' or 'forgot the coriander - thank you!'. Bought the stuff for total £55. Arrived at party - shopping gratefully received, no mention of cash. Crisps and dips opened straight away - but there were also loads of other nibbly items like little toasts with parma ham; olives; nuts. Red wine spirited away somewhere never to be seen again. Vodka went into freezer.

Lovely evening - friend's DH is a chef and food was great. Nice to see all couples again. Whole dinner party sitting with my back right up against their full wine rack - wondered slightly why I'd been asked to bring 4 more bottles. Vodka made no appearance. Time came to leave and friend brought me my 'bag for life' from the kitchen. Receipt wasn't in there where the cashier had put it so assumed she'd taken it out and seen how much shopping was. Not a word about the cash. Didn't want to bring it up to save embarrassment so just left. Now slightly annoyed - AIBU?

DH thinks IABU because I'd probably have done that weird British polite thing and refused the cash anyway.

OP posts:
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6
VinceNoirLovesHowardMoon · 11/04/2016 06:18

Yep! Saved for her own house by not wasting money on alcohol, but drops £50 on Bombay sapphire for a dinner party without batting an eyelid

flumpybear · 11/04/2016 07:15

Holy cow stinky.... What do you mean you don't drink????!!!!! On the 'I have sinned' thread recently you go on about drinking wine, A LOT of wine, even had apparently drunk a whole bottle in the morning and spirits as well as recreational drugs .... As well as your OH ..... Lots of fibs coming out, who you trying to impress?!

Pipbin · 11/04/2016 07:22

And Stinky owns her own house and has money because she worked from the age of 15 or was it because she sold some shares? Hard work or some lucky trading? or complete bullshit

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 11/04/2016 07:42

I'm late to the thread but here's my two pennies worth:

Your mate should have got in touch and reimbursed you by now , £55 is a lot of money which shouldn't be written off.

stinky is a massive goady bullshitter if AS is anything to go byGrin.

storminabuttercup · 11/04/2016 07:50

This thread is bizarre.
I wonder if all the posters suggesting that 55 pounds is fine to write off are the same people who suggest that you shouldn't host if you can't afford to pay for it all.
I'd be really miffed if I was the OP, but then I wouldn't be as until this year I've been the host every f**king time and now I've given up (but that's a whole new thread)

Skittlesss · 11/04/2016 08:16

Omg I thought you would have had a reply by now, OP!!!!

I'm pissing myself at Stinky, her pocketchange and her ever so classy prosecco purchasing. Surely you should be drinking unicorn tears out of diamond glasses?
On a side note, the value of money doesn't change just because you earn more or can afford to lose £55. It's still £55 no matter how much you have in the bank. We could afford to lose that, but I wouldn't be pleased about it as it is a lot of money to just write off.

acasualobserver · 11/04/2016 08:21

On a side note, the value of money doesn't change just because you earn more or can afford to lose £55. It's still £55 no matter how much you have in the bank.

That doesn't make sense. The value of £55 is entirely relative to how rich you are in the first place.

Littlegreyauditor · 11/04/2016 08:27

Maybe she kept your receipt to remind herself to pay you back? (I'm blindly optimistic today)

EnPapillot · 11/04/2016 08:34

Still no reply? agree with Littlegrey, maybe she kept it to remind herself to pay you today?

Dancingqueen17 · 11/04/2016 08:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PovertyPain · 11/04/2016 08:48

I provide services for a lot of quite wealthy clients and I can assure you, that even they would feel that £55 is not chump change. though I do get bought some amazing wine at Xmas. Yum

PovertyPain · 11/04/2016 08:50

should be drinking unicorn tears out of diamond glasses?

Don't be ridiculous, she's probably a vegan that only eats the best steak. Wink

MissHooliesCardigan · 11/04/2016 08:56

Stinky, so you work for the press, the NHS and have a business? I'm surprised you find time for dinner parties.
Are you Miss Rabbit?

TheHuntingOfTheSarky · 11/04/2016 09:29

[I] drink like a fish - stinky on another thread last week.

Just saying.

Coconutty · 11/04/2016 09:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHuntingOfTheSarky · 11/04/2016 09:35

MissHoolie and she starts a new job tomorrow managing a "large team" Grin

BlueFolly · 11/04/2016 09:35

If she's a good friend she won't mind the text.

PovertyPain · 11/04/2016 09:50

I hate to say it OP, but she may end up trying to make a show of you at the next dinner party, by making a big show of handing it to you in front of everyone.

Mellifera · 11/04/2016 09:50

Blitz, I hope your friendship doesn't suffer. If she is a good friend, I would have just asked her. But then I'm not British Grin

You could ring her and ask. I'm sure she forgot or thought her DH paid you or whatever, it will have been by mistake.

JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit · 11/04/2016 10:05

I have a sneaking suspicion this is going to end like so many other threads. We get ourselves all invested in it and the OP never gets a response!

emotionsecho · 11/04/2016 10:38

It is very bad manners for the host in this case not to offer to pay for the purchases she requested of the OP, if the OP had declined the reimbursement that is her perogative but she should at the very least have the option to decline.

LineyReborn · 11/04/2016 10:45

Perhaps the host is puzzled at being asked for the wrong amount by text. OP, you could WhatsApp to correct yourself.

Soapmaker34 · 11/04/2016 10:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Carrieannegreen · 11/04/2016 11:15

SSD haha brilliant!

florianblossom · 11/04/2016 11:30

Mmn
I would call up and say in person or leave a voicemail
"Fab Party!! Loved it and you were such a great host! Very brave to take on a party of ten couples! Round down the shop to £40 on condition that I can come around and we can experiment with a few vodka cocktails and catch up soon! I will bring some exotic mixers."
The host was probably frazzled and not really focused on the bill at the time, it's stressful hosting a big dinner party. Then you can have a few drinks with her and give her some room to not be embarrassed or avoid replying.