...to want to have been offered some money?

[Blitzburgher]

Just back from dinner at a friend's. Five couples in total, lovely evening. Slightly late because of nipping to the shop for cigarettes for DH on the way there. Texted friend when at shop "There in 15 mins, do you need anything from Waitrose?" just as a pleasantry really. Received reply "Yes - can you get 4 bottles red wine, crisps, dips and bottle vodka". Slightly shocked - was expecting something like 'OMG just run out of milk' or 'forgot the coriander - thank you!'. Bought the stuff for total £55. Arrived at party - shopping gratefully received, no mention of cash. Crisps and dips opened straight away - but there were also loads of other nibbly items like little toasts with parma ham; olives; nuts. Red wine spirited away somewhere never to be seen again. Vodka went into freezer.

Lovely evening - friend's DH is a chef and food was great. Nice to see all couples again. Whole dinner party sitting with my back right up against their full wine rack - wondered slightly why I'd been asked to bring 4 more bottles. Vodka made no appearance. Time came to leave and friend brought me my 'bag for life' from the kitchen. Receipt wasn't in there where the cashier had put it so assumed she'd taken it out and seen how much shopping was. Not a word about the cash. Didn't want to bring it up to save embarrassment so just left. Now slightly annoyed - AIBU?

DH thinks IABU because I'd probably have done that weird British polite thing and refused the cash anyway.

As if Xenia would ever post saying she earned 22k!

The full shoppping breakdown:

x2 dips - 2 for £3
x1 vodka Smirnoff on offer £14.50
x2 Tyrells big bag crisps 2 for £4
x4 wine £6 each on offer = £24

So in fact this is a case of £55.50! (outrage minorly magnified)

(I have had some wine)

£55 is the cost of a single course dinner or a shit lunch.

Just one example of one of your comments. And then of course there's the fact that you started out saying you're an NHS worker on £22k (presumably to sound less rich) then several posts later mentioned the other businesses and then the BTL. These shares you sold at uni - did you save up to buy them by not drinking or smoking? I'm sorry, I'm joining you in goadyness now, but you've made such a tit of yourself on this thread that foot stamping and saying it isn't fair isn't going to cut it.

And, for what it's worth, my two kids and I dined handsomely in a restaurant the evening for £25. Two courses and drinks. Sadly no Michelin stars.

actually, I make that £45.50

Maybe your friend is outraged you're trying to make an extra £10 out of her

It was def £55. I can't remember exactly. Maybe the wines were not all £6 each. (#wine)

Non-paying friend has the receipt otherwise I would be straight to my purse!

And alas no cash or cheque in the bag for life as a PP suggested. Which would also be pretty weird, non?

OMG - this thread!!!!!

Going to dive into the back of my sofa to find a min of £55 to give to Blitz (it's just loose change round fatmomma mansions!)

And we never even found out what they'd eaten.... I hope it was a bloody good meal!

Great text Blitz. Hope she replies as elegantly. No matter whether you can afford it or not you just don't stiff your friends fir cash whether it's £5.50 or £55.

Stinky can I just ask ... have you ever been to Maui?

I want to know what job someone who is so ignorant of the needs and situations of other can do in the NHS. I would say manager but I'm sure they earn more that £22k.

OMG the food! I didn't tell you about the food. It was excellent.

Nibbles as mentioned in my OP, plus the crisps and dips I'd brought.

Starter was prawns and feta in garlicky tomato sauce with bread for mopping.

Main was slow roast lamb shoulder with cumin, roast root veg and steamed greens and this delicious hot chilli sauce that was a bit like chermoula.

Dessert was lemon tart (as per my text) with raspberries and crème fraîche.

(Still no text back)

(I am still drinking wine)

Wow stinky I am shocked. Keep digging you're doing a great job

I earn more than £22k and dp earns more than £33k we own our home and don't smoke, we rarely drink. To me £55 is a helluva lot of money. Also we pay less than that for two courses each in a nice restaurant, so it is definitely not one course!

Does your friend have form for taking this long to answer texts blitz? Why do you think she hasn't answered yet?

Could she have found this thread ?

We have a joint family income probably higher than the figures Stinky mentions and are incredibly fortunate to have enough money to not to struggle if forced to sub a friend's dinner party £55.

However, whatever you income bracket it is incredibly rude for a friend who is hosting to suggest a list of things and then not at least offer to reimburse you.

Actually the cost is almost immaterial. Blitz did not ask is there anything you would like us to contribute. Even if this is what the host thought that's what she was doing, the list was excessive without some offer to reimburse.

Blitz did not ask is there anything you would like us to contribute. Even if this is what the host thought that's what she was doing, the list was excessive without some offer to reimburse.

I'm beginning to wonder if this is exactly what the host thought - that the OP was asking if the host needed anything, (she wouldn't have known at that point that the OP had already sorted a gift) being OP's contribution for the evening? Especially as she asked for nibbles. Would anyone ask for 4 bottles and vodka though?

Fucking hell, Stinky, that was a fast career change. You worked for the Press a couple of days ago.

It's almost as if you're a weird fantasist, or something.

Shamelessly place marking! I love awkward conversations especially when they are one sided and the offender doesn't reply

So this will be in the daily fail soon then.

Wow threads about money always bring the nasty feckers out don't they?

Well done for texting op. I would have just said nothing and spent the rest of my week stewing and starving

Unless it's simply a matter of forgetfulness on part of friend, it's really off imo to not arrange to pay back the money asap. It's not a matter or whether the OP can afford to write off £55 or what money she has coming into her household. It's the principle that if you've asked someone to get you something from the shops, you pay them back.

I'm one of the 'real poor' and have friends who are verging on the 'real well off'. If for example I was unwell and they asked if they could be get me anything from the shops, I wouldn't dream of not giving them the money they'd spent back, on the basis they can easily afford it and I'm struggling. It's bad manners and taking the piss. I really hope the money soon wings its way into your account and you hear back from your friend.

Moving off the point a bit - In light of earlier remarks along the way, I'm totally baffled as to why, if I have never smoked and hate the taste of alcohol, I am still unable to buy somewhere to live. I should have accumulated enough non-drink/fag savings over the years, to be in a 4 bed detached in Surrey at the very least! What a swizz.

So stinky works for the press, as well as the nhs, as well as having at least one business that brings in £22k? Interesting.
It's almost like stinky isn't actually a real person isn't it?

And she doesn't drink or smoke. ..ok maybe she drinks.