...to want to have been offered some money?

[Blitzburgher]

Just back from dinner at a friend's. Five couples in total, lovely evening. Slightly late because of nipping to the shop for cigarettes for DH on the way there. Texted friend when at shop "There in 15 mins, do you need anything from Waitrose?" just as a pleasantry really. Received reply "Yes - can you get 4 bottles red wine, crisps, dips and bottle vodka". Slightly shocked - was expecting something like 'OMG just run out of milk' or 'forgot the coriander - thank you!'. Bought the stuff for total £55. Arrived at party - shopping gratefully received, no mention of cash. Crisps and dips opened straight away - but there were also loads of other nibbly items like little toasts with parma ham; olives; nuts. Red wine spirited away somewhere never to be seen again. Vodka went into freezer.

Lovely evening - friend's DH is a chef and food was great. Nice to see all couples again. Whole dinner party sitting with my back right up against their full wine rack - wondered slightly why I'd been asked to bring 4 more bottles. Vodka made no appearance. Time came to leave and friend brought me my 'bag for life' from the kitchen. Receipt wasn't in there where the cashier had put it so assumed she'd taken it out and seen how much shopping was. Not a word about the cash. Didn't want to bring it up to save embarrassment so just left. Now slightly annoyed - AIBU?

DH thinks IABU because I'd probably have done that weird British polite thing and refused the cash anyway.

[Honkyspiggy]

I think maybe OPs friend has seen the conversation and therefore OP can't come back to fill us in! :(

[KoalaDownUnder]

Dearest OP

We really need to know what friend said.

Love

Koala

[RavioliOnToast]

I wish I didn't waste my time RTFT now. Bloody vanishing OP!

The mate has got to have read this though and has had hell on?

[Ninefreerangeeggs]

...and left hanging...

[SouthWesterlyWinds]

Totally being nosey.... How was dinner this weekend?

[julfin]

Hope all goes well at this weekend's dinner party, OP. Hope it goes smoothly and there's no awkwardness. I think your predicament/confusion/concern was totally understandable, and hopefully everything is fine now that your friend has settled up. Thinking of you this weekend!

[Toast3]

Come on OP - put us out of our misery! Pleeeeeeeaaase!

[PeaceLoveAndJaffaCakes]

Is there another dinner party this weekend?

[RavioliOnToast]

Have you heard anything, OP?

[Skittlesss]

I'm so sad we haven't had an update

I need to get a life, haha

[llhj]

Come on op! We're invested here....

[OnlyLovers]

Still no message from your friend, OP?

I think she's sulking. That's why she got her DH to do the transfer.

I might get a T-shirt made that says 'Judgemental socialist' on the front.

[loopylou6]

This thread is brilliant

[lottielou7]

No, she definitely wasn't seething - just confused as I would be!

[NotReallySureNow]

Also desperately waiting for an update.

I don't think the OP handled it badly at all.

[theworstthreadspinner]

fwiw, to defend the OP's intentions, I don't think she seemed seething about the money at all. i thought she seemed worried, as i would be. it's super awkward to worry that money disputes might be about to get nasty after she's done such a nice thing. better to nip it in the bud rather than keep it festering.

[lottielou7]

Any update OP? (Why am I so obsessed with knowing the conclusion to this mystery?)

[MrsHathaway]

"Thanks for the transfer! Sorry for nagging hahaha See you on Saturday xx"

[LowDudgeon]

Havent read whole thread - have been jumping back & forth for entertainment - so apols if I've missed anything

But this from GF stinky made me lol

MN has turned in to a hot bed of judgemental socialism

1. "turned into"
   
2. "hot bed"
   
3. "judgmental socialism" - OF COURSE!!! It's what we do!!!

[dakin1]

I think OPs mate has seen this thread and that's why she hasn't replied to the text...

[JellyBeansHaveNoAgeLimit]

The money being transferred without a reply does seem like she's pissed off with you OP

[lottielou7]

Nope, I'm checking too! I need to know what happened

[Cornishclio]

Regardless of whether the money has now been transferred or not the friend treated the OP very badly in this. Firstly for asking for so much shopping when the majority of us would simply say a pint of milk, loaf of bread or maybe one extra bottle of wine. If the friend asked the op to get things which were not even offered during the dinner party - extra unneeded wine, vodka etc then that is very bad form and not something I or my friends would do. Secondly the friend should have made it very clear she would reimburse, not just disregard the fact the OP had spent £55 of their own money, £5-10 yes I could understand but not that much and then not to reply to the text asking for the money back. How rude! If I was OP there is no way I would be doing anything financial with this friend again like splitting cleaners costs or doing shopping. Lesson learned.

[buddles]

I keep checking for updates throughout the day, every day too

[bunnie1975]

This keep me going on a wet afternoon, love it.