In saying a week of compassionate leave for losing a parent is unfair?

[Helenwiththebigmelons]

Yes yes, life is unfair - but really, a week away from work because a parent has died? Is that all that can be granted?

I work for a logistics company as a Financial Admin, and I was told today by a colleague that this is all you get granted whilst on the topic of compassionate leave etc.

Isn't this shocking? In my last work place, my boss insisted on another colleague taking 3 weeks of fully paid leave to come to terms with things - he didn't even mention funeral arrangements.

What is your workplace policy like for compassionate leave? Perhaps I'm oblivious to some harsh realities.

Would you work for no pay? Then why expect pay with no work? Businesses aren't charities required to smooth every bump of life for every worker. You need to plan for handling emergencies and adverse life events on your own.

Yes I did a lot of unpaid overtime in my last job.

I was given a week In December when DM died then visited my GP who gave me a sick line (fit note as they are now known) for a further 2 weeks when l was to go back and see him. I stupidly went back just before Christmas ( l am a nurse) and spent most of my time in tears, not much use to man nor beast. I was not fit to be there and would encourage people to take as much time needed before returning. In some ways it would depend on the job but an early return dealing with the public is a no no.

As other pp have said, a week is standard official policy in most places but in reality, it's often much more generous.

Our policy is five days and that is only for 'a close relative, such as a child' . That's what my contract says.

In reality, they have just given me three months full pay, after my husband died in Jan.

I think a spouse is very different to a parent (assuming you are not the main carer/ next of kin). In reality, a spouse should see a longer period of CP, esp if there are children.

I have three kids under 7 and managing their grief and feelings was the main driver of taking three months off. That and the fact it was suicide and totally unexpected.

Although the emotional loss of a parent can be just as great, there is a lot of shit to go through and sort out when it's a spouse and you have kids, mortgage, life insurance claims etc. You may need to make huge life decisions based on finances. Unless you are a carer or incredibly close to your parent, a spouse - esp when you're parents to children - is totally different. Not emotionally, but practically.

Ours is 3 days to a week but the manager can auth additional leave. It is 100% customer facing and target driven so sick leave is used and this is paid. We are very lucky.

My official work policy gives us a week of paid leave.

My DM died young and very suddenly just before Xmas. Work didn't expect me in for a month.

As it happened; I went back after five calendar days, couldn't cope. Went home at lunch. Had another week off - went back for a day and couldn't do anything. Had another few days off then annual leave. Still couldn't work after a month despite trying to go for a full week - ended up having three months off (signed off by my GP).

Work were very supportive.

Zero.

Sadly both my parents have died over the last few years.

I was allowed three 'family emergency' days in each case.

And the rest was annual leave or unpaid leave.

To those talking about extra days being authorised, that does not happen where I work. Anything extra has to be annual leave or sick pay.

I had only had 2 days when my dad passed away last year. Took an additional half day of "vacation". As I was between two contracts at the same firm boss#2 agreed to make me start later, which gave me 10 days in total. Not even half of what I needed. I guess people are much more compassionate than official policies

My dad died suddenly. No idea what my works leave policy is as I kept working. Just a day off when he died and a day for the funeral. It is how I cope. However, they were lovely and said 'take as long as you need'. Because of that, I was able to go in, because there was no pressure to go in IYSWIM.

I work for a charity and we get nothing, we are allowed time off for the funeral but have to take it as flexi and make the time up later.
When my mil died we had to travel a few hundred miles there and back so I had to take annual leave.

My Mum died on Christmas day last year, our company allows 3 days, but my lovely boss told me to go to my GP and get signed off, GP was brilliant also signed me off for 3 weeks then said I could go back again, if I needed to, as the funeral was put back due to the Christmas/New Year break.

I do remember my Dbro being asked by his manager how close he was to DM when he asked for the day of her funeral off. That was pretty grim. (large company)

I don't even think I asked for time off, I had a week (6 days actually, as I was in the office when she died on the Friday morning). I just called work to let them know when I would be returning (very small firm).

Ultimately I think coping with grief is very personal. If more employers offered longer periods of unpaid compassionate leave, bereaved workers could grieve in their own time and return when appropriate. As it is, as a teacher I couldn't take annual leave and had no choice but to go off sick. I have been in no position to face kids who would gladly see me cry and I am so relived that ny resignation has finally come into effect.

We can take 2 weeks for parent/sibling/spouse/child or 1 week for grandparent/others.

When my beloved GM died I actually only took 2 days (funeral on a Monday and day after to travel back), and when I returned my awful boss asked if I was feeling better in a way that made clear he'd forgotten why I was actually off and thought I'd just been sick.

I had 2 miscarriages before DD1 and was signed off for 2 weeks each time, plus a bit of self-certificated sick leave before. Different boss for those who was very understanding and also most insistent that I rebook the annual leave I had planned to take during one of those times.

As others have said full maternity policy kicks in for a pregnancy loss after 20 weeks and I have a friend who sadly "benefitted" from that.

"We can take 2 weeks for parent/sibling/spouse/child or 1 week for grandparent/others. "

"Others" doesn't mean anyone and everyone, there is a defined list of relations which I think includes PILs, but I can't remember the details.

A week for parent or spouse. A day for anyone else.

My husband was made to stay at work til close of business after learning his brother had committed suicide (6 hours between finding out and being able to come home).

He was also made to work the evening before his funeral.

Fucking bastards.

He had less than a week leave (aroumd 4 days in total i believe) and wasnt allowed to take any time in a block iykwim.

He still hasnt greived properly 6 months on.

I was fortunate to be self-employed when my dad died, and as most of my main clients had been his clients as well, they were sympathetic; we did the same job in different parts of the country. I must have had about 3 1/2 weeks off, including the few days I sat with him in hospital as he was dying, then organised the funeral while staying with relatives near his home, did all the paperwork and started to sort out his estate. In the circumstances, as sole executor and next of kin, 2 hours' drive from my home, I'd have struggled to do it in less time.

A really close friend died when I was in my 20's. It was agreed that I could use my 3 days annual leave left. I came back on the fourth day and promptly burst into tears when a kind colleague asked how I was. I spent most of the day crying in the toilets. Luckily the GP agreed to sign me off for 2 weeks.
I have had family and other friends die since, but no other death has affected me like hers did.

Christ, I though you were going to say it was too long so unfair on colleagues!