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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
WonderingAspie · 06/04/2016 22:02

I couldn't wait until Saturday. I'd send the text a pp said about worrying it's bad so tell me now type thing.

Cancel her coming on Saturday. If she's late or spends ages at your house,it will delay your weekend away!

Original poster
Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 22:08

Ok, I hadn't even thought about a pyramid scheme. Shit, I really hope it isn't that. Surely you wouldn't tell someone you needed a 'favour' if you planning to try and sell them Forever Living or some such nonsense though? It would be more like "I need to talk to you about something/a really exciting opportunity" or however they are trained to pitch that crap.

I doubt it's money. She knows I'm on maternity leave and we effectively just live on DP's income at the moment (well I have savings but she doesn't know that). She hasn't worked for the last 15 years or so and I don't know what she lives on but she has sent me cash gifts for the kids in the past...I really don't think it's money. I agree it must be something unreasonable if she can't tell me over the phone though. Really can't be doing with this aggravation.

She is early fifties, already married and no kids so that rules out bridesmaid/godparent. Her husband lives in another part of the country due to his work so I'm wondering if she wants me to take her to his place as she doesn't drive.

She hasn't asked me for a favour before so no previous form for this. Well, once ages ago she asked to use my laptop to send a job application but that's it.

I am wondering if she wants me to sign some kind of legal document for her (can't think what) or act as a guarantor for a loan?! But if so she has other relatives she is much closer to than me so I'm a bit baffled as to why she would ask me.

I will take the advice and let her know I need her to tell me over the phone before Saturday. We were planning to leave around 8am to go on our break so will tell her truthfully that she needs to talk to me beforehand as she is going to delay our departure. The problem is her phone always goes to voicemail. It is actually very difficult to reach her on the phone and she takes ages to reply to texts.

I promise to update once I find out what it is!!

OP posts:
superwormissuperstrong · 06/04/2016 22:10

sounds intriguing - sorry not much more to add, just as nosey as everyone else to find out what it is! Wink

Cupcakeannie77 · 06/04/2016 22:13

The moment she steps foot out of your place (if not before) you need to let us know! Hope it's not to do with husband living away Hmm ?? Uptonogood

LemonRedwood · 06/04/2016 22:22

OP, please, whatever you do, don't go on holiday on Saturday and leave us all hanging until you get back!

Penguinepenguins · 06/04/2016 22:28

I have to know by 8.02am on Saturday morning...

I'm way to over invested...

Purplerain067 · 06/04/2016 22:31

I just read this whole thread! I need to know!!!

lavenderhoney · 06/04/2016 22:34

Er - leave her a vm, text, what's app and forget it. It's not your emergency and if she was in a real panic she would hav said. So contact her now and forget it.

She has access to listening to messages and text. It is not your problem she chooses to delay it. Concentrate on your break, your immediate family and don't let her fuck it up.

RTKangaMummy · 06/04/2016 22:34

Do you do a job that means you are a good candidate for signing passport verifying photo thingy?

Not sure if you still have to be a professional person in certain jobs or not?

RTKangaMummy · 06/04/2016 22:36

Or witness the will signing?

0christmastree5 · 06/04/2016 22:36

Place marking .... Intrigued I am.

ProfessorPickles · 06/04/2016 22:38

Also intrigued!

ImperialBlether · 06/04/2016 22:42

If she lives 40 minutes away, why is she coming to yours (and not the library) to use your computer?

(Is this a reasonable placeholder?)

grapejuicerocks · 06/04/2016 22:45

Do me a favour op. I need to speak to you In person really but if you insist I'll tell you now.

Whispers "can you save me a place mark please"

Aprille · 06/04/2016 22:49

That's very odd all right.

TeaPleaseLouise · 06/04/2016 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ohb0llocks · 06/04/2016 22:52

But Saturday is so far away.

SaucyJack · 06/04/2016 22:59

Surrogate pregnancy/Egg donor type thing?

coconutpie · 06/04/2016 23:18

Shamelessly placemarking

KatoPotato · 06/04/2016 23:29

Shameless page mark. I've just been asked by my forever living selling friend for the name of another mum from brownies... Yikes

LineyReborn · 06/04/2016 23:33

Just leave her the voicemail and text her. It's phone or nothing.

2rebecca · 06/04/2016 23:36

If she has to ask face to face I'd suspect that's because otherwise she's worried you'll say no. If you're too busy this week just tell her that. She's the one wanting the help after all, if she can't fit in with you she's maybe not that bothered.

AugustaFinkNottle · 06/04/2016 23:56

will tell her truthfully that she needs to talk to me beforehand as she is going to delay our departure.

Don't do that, she'll just say she promises it'll only take a few minutes and won't delay you, even though it undoubtedly will. Tell her you've had to change your plans and are leaving much, much earlier, so Saturday is absolutely out.

fatmomma99 · 07/04/2016 00:18

I'm voting for borrowing money.

pinkcan · 07/04/2016 00:18

I'd ring her and say please could you let me know what your favour is and if she again refuses to say, I'd say look we are busy and the answer to the favour is no. Twatty secretive behaviour.