To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

[Eastie77]

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

The last time I hd something similar a friend was insisting on a face to face meeting and was all mysterious. Came round and gave me the hard sell about utility warehouse for hours.

I'd cancel.

She probably wants a surragate mother to carry a child for her.

How old is your relative OP?

I'm guessing something related to a wedding, christening, birth partner or being guardian to her kids in her will or something like that.

Unless she belongs to a fetish club and it's her turn to host the annual S and M party.
Could she use your house as the party venue while you're away? (invite only)

I hate this too so feel your pain OP.

I also hate when I get asked "are you free tomorrow?"
And when I confronted or deny they ask the favour.
Don't put me on the spot and I've been caught out in the past saying "no, not busy" thinking they wanted a catch up when they actually wanted me to schlep across town on crutches to feed their cat

and when I confirm or deny that should say

It's hardly the time to discuss favours when you leaving for a holiday, doing mental checklists, looking for your passports, switching everything off and locking up, loading up the car etc.

Just ring and say you're now setting off early on Saturday so, if it's important, she should ask you over the phone.... It's strange that she would want to come on the morning of your holiday if it's a loan or similar .... Maybe she's ill?

Our horrible neighbour did this to me once. I just texted back "sorry I'm really busy at the moment, you'll have to tell me over the phone". She was actually asking for something very unreasonable which I knew she would.

Just be very direct with her.

I have a friend who only ever visits when she wants something. She spends the entire time we are together for coffee or a dog walk or whatever building up to asking for whatever it is she wants and then just as we are parting here it comes... Oh before I go I just wondered if you would do x and x or x for me...
It's funny because I know she wants something from me but we go through the entire social activity before she gets around to it.

This drives me crazy. I had a friend who did this. She would text and ring me over and over and over telling me she needed to meet me in person today and couldn't possibly discuss over the phone. I always told her it wasn't possible and she would have to tell me over the phone or by text. Never found out what she wanted.

I bet it's forever living or juice plus or something.

Well as I am going away weekend ..Need to ask before then..

I would call..Say you are worried she is ok.. I hate waiting to find out things..

I agree with others. Weekend/ face to face doesn't work for me. Either call, text or it's probably best I say no.

havent you found out yet???? come on OP!!!

I would be saying I'd gotten the times wrong we needed to leave on Saturday but that you were worried about her and could she please just tell you now what it is as you didn't wavy to leave it. I must admit I would then be extremely annoyed to be fobbed off after saying that. Hopefully she will just spill.

Defo FL 😄

Shameless placemark.

oh this would annoy me too!

I vote calling back, saying that you realised it's goign to be a bit tight on Saturday morning as there's stuff to do before you go, so you'd like her to tell you over the phone. If she won't, then agree say it'll have to be a 'no' or wait until you're back.

She wants a favour from you, so she can fit in with you. She can tell you over the phone, she doesn't want to, but she's the one hoping for the favour, so it being on your terms - which includes telling you over the phone when you ahve time to think about it, not when you'll be super busy on Saturday.

I also think if it's meaningfully serious if you tell her you can't meet her until you get back she will spill. So I would relax about that.

Could you ring her up and tell her Mumsnet's dying to know what she wants so she has to tell you now?

Blimey. Just read this whole thread and now need to know what she wants! Come on OP.

I need to know what it is!