To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

[Eastie77]

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

10.30 at night before you travel the next morning?

I'd text back 'can you just tell me what it is please, I'm starting to get really worried about this now'

Why can't I see any of the texts? What did the first one say? And ?

Love Kelandry's idea! And I totally agree with Darcey!

And the latest?

Ugh what a faff. Just stop fucking about and ask the favour ffs.

I'm intrigued. I hope it's either something really lovely or all a big anticlimax for your sake, OP.

She's not set all this up deliberately to get Mumsnet debating it has she??!

The relative, that is!

You may be right about her wanting your DP to do her a big favour.

However, just in case she may have been lured into an MLM, there's a new one, Life Tree Hill, or something, that is currently doing the rounds on fb.

You buy your groceries from the site and recruit others to do the same and take a commission from their purchases. You have to spend a minimum of £ 170 a month. Yes, it's an expensive scam . Check out the fab MLM thread (number 17) over on Money Matters or look at our fb Tiimeless Vie and Bot Watch sites.

Face to face favour-asking is suspicious. She wants to ensure you won't say 'no'. Practice saying NO in front of the mirror .

I'm on the edge of my seat now. Why can't she come earlier than 10.30?

This is madness. You have to see her now, 10.30 or not. You can't possibly leave us dangling while you are on your jollies. You are not a cruel person. I hope

Tell her it will have to be before 9 p.m. at the latest, otherwise you'll have gone to bed and won't be answering the door.

I'm guessing (hoping) it will be something nice or she wouldn't be so insistent? Personally, it's only if I had really good news for someone that I would have to see them and insist (even at an ungodly hour) as whatever I was telling them would be well worth their inconvenience?!

She's really bloody bizarre. It's all self interest and all about her- look T me and my massive dilemmA etc. Hope you have s good hols!

Jeez, I'm intrigued! Sounds like she wants to 'get you' in a weak and tired moment when you would agree to anything. It'll be something you won't want to do. Be strong!

Maybe she's pregnant!

My goodness! I wouldn't want visitor at 10.30!

Ring her back and keep ringing today every half an hour until she answers!!

As others have said, you need to be more direct. As in "sorry, we are going to bed early as we are leaving at 6 tomorrow morning. If you need to speak to me before we go, please phone me today, if not then let's catch up in a couple of weeks, love
Eastie".

BiL is a bit like this. I've had to gently slap him down this week as he is insisting on knowing all the details, timings etc for DS1's wedding as "we need to plan". The wedding is the end of August and we're in April now . They know the date as the STD cards went out before Xmas. The formal invites are going out at the end of this month, but apparently that's "far too late" as they need to know "this week" what time the ceremony is, where it is and what time the afternoon and evening receptions start. It's all about him and SiL. Eastie's relative is all about her. It's just unthinking self-absorption.

Will you let us know tonight OP? I am also going away with the family early tomorrow but will stay up to find out if so

This is crazy. I'd be fuming in this situation! Hope for your sake it's something nice!

I'd just call her from an unknown number and ask when she answers the phone.

Caffienator that clip is soooooooooooo funny.

I think it is to do with money. She wants you to be guarantor for a loan or the like and thinks it will be harder to say no if she is there in person. If I'm right - don't do it! Even if you feel guilty about saying no.

anyways, what the chuff was the outcome?

hope you got away on time OP and it wasn't too annoying?

Ok I have another theory. Maybe dear old Aunty Yvonne in her 50s with no kids has decided to finally come out as a lesbian. The favour could be asking you to tell your DCs?