To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

[Eastie77]

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

Aloe shite

Well, I reckon that whatever objections the OP puts up, this person is clearly ignoring the fact that it's not a good time for the OP, so will just try to bulldoze through anything said by OP tomorrow morning. Because she's going to turn up even though OP has said it's not on.

OP, best of luck in getting off on your break.

You are going to be really pissed off if it's something like 'just wondered if you liked my new coat'

It is annoying.
But you've not been straight with her. You told her Saturday morning would be convenient and that you'r worried.
Being direct is so much more helpful. Now you're pissed off and feeling bad towards her and altering you plans (leaving earlier than expected) in order to piss her off.

I can't wait to hear what the favour is btw.

Jenny70

If its property maintenance DP won't mind doing it, he likes her.

Sorry, there was an update before that reply which didn't post! Will re-post!

Ok update attached. Have to be quick, DD is watching Peppa for 10 mins.

So it can't be Pyramid Scheme or telling me she has terminal cancer if it will only take a few mins.

Really don't want her here at that time. And she'll be wanting a lift home afterwards if she comes that late. FFS. At least it will all be over though!!

Jenny - absolutely love your alternative ending. This might well end in murder!!

Once you are finally asked this favour, say you need to think about it and can you get back to her. THEN you must insist on only being able to talk face to face, in a seedy strip joint, at midnight on Wednesday only! This is when you tell her no. Stick a dollar (add 'find one dollar' to you-do list) in the strippers knickers and walk away, laughing.

Oh god, please just let her come round to bring an end to all of this.

She'll know I'm pissed off with her as my messages are not usually so terse. She's an older relative I'm usually all smiley faces and kisses with.

I'm now thinking she wants me to sign something and it is not legit. She is hoping I will be so tired/flustered/busy I will quickly sign without properly reading the document. Hence her plan to arrive just before we go on hols and now arriving in the dead of night.

Haven't read all this, but I'd send a text to say "BTW we'll be leaving at xx.xx o'clock precisely. Can't stay any later."

Kelandry

I've read all this thread and now I am DESPERATE to know! It better not. E something mundane! if she wants to use your laptop I'll be devastated and I don't think I'll be able to recover!

Reply 'JUST TELL ME WHAT IT IS FFS!! Mumsnet are waiting

better not be something mundane

Wow, she thinks 10:30pm the night before you travel early is acceptible? Would never arrange to see someone that late!

Can't you just tell her not to be so ridiculous and talk to you on the phone or come round at a normal time?

She will absolutely 'need' a lift home. Who would send an older relly off on a bus at past 10.30 ? She knows that no one would, hence she's happy to put you out.

10.30 the night before you go away. Wow. I hope she wants to give you money.

I would assume i'd come into a lot of money if someone was that flippin insistent.

And act accordingly pissed off if it wasn't.

I assume both you and DH will be starting your holiday early by drinking just enough this evening to put yourselves over the drink drive limits.

She sounds nuts. Do not offer her a lift home - if she wants to call over to you at 10.30 at night, especially when you have children, she is completely inconsiderate and selfish. Don't give her a lift back home, she can find her own bloody way home.

My sil used to 'need' to come over and ask me favours- basically all dates she needed childcare for as her kids were in private school so had longer holidays than her state school job gave her. She would eye up my calendar so when I said "No I can't do those dates" she'd say "Oh? I don't see anything written down." I went on to have 3 DC in very quick succession and then she stopped asking- probably out of fear that I'd want the favour returned!

You said you mentioned it to your brother- this makes me think it can't be an inheritance because he'd be having the same conversations with her.

I bet it is MLM, they all say it only takes a few minutes then blather on for hours when they've got their claws in.

An unwanted visit at 10.30 pm, the night before you go away, knowing that you have a baby? How bloody unreasonable!