To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

[Eastie77]

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

say, mate this is really bothering me, can you just tell me now, and if you cant, the answer is no x

Maybe she's won the lottery and is coming over with a briefcase with £50,000 for you, and wants to see your face when she hands it over. You'd be sorry to miss that lol.

In fact, your fingernails might look quite rough on return from away!

Now she's pissing ME off! "No you misunderstood my message, Saturday is NOT fine. We won't be here. If it's urgent, ring me about it. If not it'll have to wait until sometime after our holiday, maybe the end of the month".

magicstar1

If it is a MLM thing it will be the Younique one - she wants to see you F2F because you are going to be bowled over with how amazing she looks and will obviously beg her to sell you some of whatever marvellous substance has made such a transformation.

Where are you going on holiday? She probably wants you to take a suspicious package with you.... Or maybe needs to give you cash & a list of shopping that can only be obtained where you are going?

Now she's pissing me off! Intrigued as to what this favour is.

That's a difficult one to send in real life. This is a relative who has given cash gifts in the past. Could you really send that in those circumstances do you think?

She's a right cheeky one!

A friend of mine does similar, really annoying. Mysterious texts along lines of "I have something to tell you but can't tell you by text will call you later"..then doesn't call or answer when you call her and drags on for about a week and is usually either she has broken up or gotten together with her DP.

When I tell her to just text me the "news" if she can't call or won't answer the phone she comes out with something like "Oh I don't want to tell you while you're at work...busy...having health issues etc" making it all about me, been though I tell her it's more annoying in the meantime thinking/worrying about what the "news" might be (might be her parents health or something). Just either tell someone by text or else don't say anything until you're talking to them on the phone or face-to-face, none of this cloak and dagger drama-stuff.

thegreysheep
She sounds like a right ol Drama Queen

I hate it when people pull shit like this.

If I have something troubling or important to discuss with a friend, I would always, always, phone or email the person with brief details in advance of a meeting to give them forewarning. It would surely be disrespectful to the relationship to do otherwise? (It would also, likely, make me have a look at my own position afresh - usually, no bad thing.)

still no news

I'd just text back and say 'look this is really stressing me out. Can you ask me over the phone, and if not, why not?'
If she turns up on Saturday just leave when you have planned to leave anyway. She can ask, you can say yes or no.

This would absolutely infuriate me.

I would tell her that you are not free for another 3 weeks and no, honestly - Saturday morning is NOT fucking fine.

Maybe she is going to invite you to her wedding in Maui..

What is her character like? Is she a little self obsessed?

If it is a pyramid / forever living pitch then I would throw her out of my house and go NC

Trouble with her turning up on Saturday is, because she needs to be face to face () it is likely to take time. A lot of time. She's not going to launch straight in, she's going to want to and try to soft-soap/persuade/manipulate/guilt you into saying yes. All far too time consuming. You don't have time for that, and your holiday should not start with you fuming about it all.

Honestly, I would just text her - 'I don't need this cloak and dagger stuff, don't bother coming on Saturday, the answer to whatever you have to ask me is "no".'

Make sure you don't give her an answer there and then! She may be using the face to face as a ploy to get you to agree to whatever the favour is!

This would really annoy me. Why can't she just call you and ask?!

Argh crap! Thought today was Friday so we'd find out tomorrow but it's Thursday!

Yes, the whole point of meeting is so that she can personally pile on the pressure, look appealing/distraught/vulnerable/tearful, whatever will work. Why else would it HAVE to be face to face? All the better to manipulate you, my dear . You'll be standing there, car full of luggage and kids, and she'll be all 'oh can I use your loo?' followed by 'any chance of a cup of tea while we talk?' . Honestly OP, do you want that at early o'clock when you should be in the car setting off, going 'yay, we're on holiday!'?? Head her off ASAP, and then you can actually look forward to Saturday and your break.

WE NEED TO KNOW!!!

Aaaargh !
So rude and so self absorbed.
I hate this sort of crap.