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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
cuntycowfacemonkey · 07/04/2016 14:43

Her text was ridiculously rude! Do you have any family you can call and ask what's going on or if you're feeling assertive text back "Saturday isn't fine for us please don't come. turning up will put me in an awkward position of turning you away which would be uncomfortable all round"

Delacroix · 07/04/2016 14:44

The MLM intro packs come with a shiny new set of brass balls, which she's put into use ignoring your voicemail :)

CheeseGerm · 07/04/2016 14:47

You're going to have to cancel all of your plans and just go now. Not for her sake, for all of ours! I've just completely ignored the phone in work to get through this thread and I don't plan on returning to my working day until I find out what Yvonne is after!

I vote for needing help to get her out of some sort of trouble, either embarrassing or serious. Or she wants help lifting something.

paxillin · 07/04/2016 14:49

She wants to name you the beneficiary in her will instead of her dh.

KittenOfWoe · 07/04/2016 14:53

Maybe she's just noticed that freckles on her knee can be joined up dot-to-dot style to draw your face, and she wants to surprise you with it?

paxillin · 07/04/2016 14:54

You will inherit and the reason she hasn't worked for so long is she is fabulously rich.

SissySpacekAteMyHamster · 07/04/2016 14:55

Oh kitten I hope it's that!

Whisky2014 · 07/04/2016 15:08

Maybe it is actually something nice and she wants to be there to see the look on OP's face?

"Here's a chunk of money just before you go on hol!" Type thing?

OVienna · 07/04/2016 15:12

I've just seen the screen shot of the text she sent.

I would definitely text back: Saturday just won't work sorry. It will have to be over the phone or after I'm back.

That does sound very cheeky. She needs to be sending you more details either by text, phone, or email why it is so very important. I'm wondering about the husband in B'ham angle. Maybe it's something to do with that but I think she's being inconsiderate.

paxillin · 07/04/2016 15:15

I think it is something nice. Something good for the OP.

NicknameUsed · 07/04/2016 15:31

I would just say that you are leaving at 8 am sharp and if she isn't there you won't wait for her.

NadiaWadia · 07/04/2016 15:36

Could it be that it's something very personal that she is nervous about asking, and that why she needs time to introduce the subject? In which case, ask her to send you an e-mail about it, then she would have time to consider how she puts it, and you have time to consider your response without being put on the spot. Would that work?

SfaOkaySuperFurryAnimals · 07/04/2016 15:38

She's got a bucket list, number 47 - how to buy a 2nd hand VW beetle, tell her to PM me......Grin

AgathaF · 07/04/2016 15:47

I agree with others who have said to tell her you won't be there on Saturday morning, early or otherwise. Just say you will need to re-arrange the day or she can phone or text you the favour.

KoalaDownUnder · 07/04/2016 15:54

Ooh, this would have me seething!

cozietoesie · 07/04/2016 15:58

Anyone who thought to ask me for a favour on early Saturday morning would have another think coming. Even the cat knows to keep his head down until I've stopped grumbling. Grin

Heyheyheygoodbye · 07/04/2016 16:00

Text back 'it won't be fine for me. You can tell me over the phone or not tell me at all, up to you' but then I am very short on manners Grin

cozietoesie · 07/04/2016 16:04

Ah well - she might be new at the game. Who can say? Smile

JocastaFarquhar · 07/04/2016 16:05

She has a red angry boil on her bum. She needs you to look at it and help squeeeeeeze KLAXON!

badtime · 07/04/2016 16:08

I would just tell her that I was declining the favour in advance unless she told me what it was over the phone, as the only reason people pull this 'face to face' shit is because they want to manipulate someone into agreeing to something they don't want to do.

If she really wanted a favour she would tell you then.

(This is also the way to deal with pushy sales people - if they have to use hard sell, whatever they're selling is probably shit)

AmusingMinnie · 07/04/2016 16:10

I'd literally just send a text saying 'You can't come Saturday, as I said in the voicemail it doesn't work for us. I'd much rather you ask me what you want via text now rather than all this cloaks and daggers stuff around it as to be honest it's rather irritating and making me think that if whatever you have to ask me is that bad you can only do it face to face the answer is more than likely to be no anyway'.

FannyFifer · 07/04/2016 16:12

How rude, I vote forever living or some such pish as well.

Rockchick1984 · 07/04/2016 16:17

Definitely MLM!

Itinerary · 07/04/2016 16:19

It won't be something nice. That would have involved "I have a surprise for you" and smiley, friendly messages. It will be asking to borrow money, or a pyramid scheme, or wanting you to do your job for free.

I would say "Sorry, but if you won't even tell me what it is over the phone, I'm not interested".

She will probably then pretend that it was going to be free tickets to see your favourite band or some other unlikely treat.

cozietoesie · 07/04/2016 16:29

Bear in mind, OP, that this approach might only be the first of many. You would likely be feeling dead guilty for turning her down ......after all this time....... so might concede to the next request. Wink