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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

953 replies

Eastie77 · 06/04/2016 18:35

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 07/04/2016 14:05

I think it is financial and she gone through the rest of the family and they have all said no.

Bogeyface · 07/04/2016 14:05

she's

Fedup21 · 07/04/2016 14:07

Are you going to reply to her?

ThirtyNineWeeks · 07/04/2016 14:07

Could she be dying and needs you to promise to look after your uncle? I think you need to go easy on this lady unless she really does prove to have been taking liberties with your time over something irrelevant.

cozietoesie · 07/04/2016 14:09

Do you have pretty nails, OP ?Smile

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 07/04/2016 14:09

OP, what's her address? Get a nearby mner to knock on the door, flash this thread at her on their phone and yell 'Enough! Some of us Firstwetakemanhattan have to work and we're over-invested in a stranger's drama. Now what is this bloody favour?'

Would that help? Grin

ArmfulOfRoses · 07/04/2016 14:13

That's a really rude response to your voicemail Shock

DropYourSword · 07/04/2016 14:13

Look, if people are going to place mark, could you at least put something more interesting than '.' Grin

This is a difficult one I think because she has no history of doing similar, no drama llama behaviour and no obvious reason to ask. It's still very inconvenient for you though, and her reply seems very dismissive of that. I think you need to firmly but kindly ensure she realises that 'early' on Saturday actually doesn't work for you at all.

MammaTJ · 07/04/2016 14:14

I NEED to know now!

I think it will most likely be MLM!

Camelandmaus · 07/04/2016 14:20

Sorry. I'm with it being MLM also. It's a standard tactic and many of them see new mums as perfect targets.

tinyurl.com/ha6sgxw

AugustaFinkNottle · 07/04/2016 14:21

It's so obvious that it's a favour that you would normally say "No" to so she wants to do it face to face in order to pressurise you. God only knows why she thinks it would work when you're stressed out and rushing around to go away on holiday, though. If someone came and pestered me in those circumstances I would say no just to get rid of them.

LottieDoubtie · 07/04/2016 14:23

Aloe Vera mark my words/

Bogeyface · 07/04/2016 14:23

"It might be fine for you but it isnt for me, so you either need to ring me or forget it."

She is being blunt, you need to do the same.

Bogeyface · 07/04/2016 14:25

Are you on her FB? If not it might be worth friending her and having a gander, you will be able to spot straight away if it is MLM, it will be all over her FB. Or have a look if she is on Twitter, you can view her feed without friending her on that.

Aradiacat · 07/04/2016 14:27

Totally over invested in this thread now... Grin we need to know OP. My money's on MLM bollocks as well. The cheek of it stinks of that.

scampimom · 07/04/2016 14:28

She knows you're going away Saturday morning, so it can't be a favour that you would need to do there and then, so asking for the favour could presumably be put off until you get back as well?

Although don't say that because I need to know NOW and can't wait that long

Wilberforce2 · 07/04/2016 14:30

Bloody hell I've just sat and read this entire post thinking that I would find out "the favour" and I haven't! I'm on holiday in Spain and stuck in the hotel room while dd naps, I need to know!!

LaContessaDiPlump · 07/04/2016 14:30

"It might be fine for you but it isnt for me, so you either need to ring me or forget it."

^^This. You need to add "Please dont even bother ringing if it's Forever Living or MLM though, I have had to fend off too many friends peddling that stuff!! PA smiley"

Tokelau · 07/04/2016 14:32

I'm sure it's Forever Living, Utility Warehouse, Juiceplus or Jamberry.

That is a very cheeky reply she sent you. She won't take no for an answer, will she?

DawnOfTheDoggers · 07/04/2016 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 07/04/2016 14:36

It might be fine for you but it isnt for me, so you either need to ring me or forget it

Yes, this is good. She is being pretty thick skinned. Whatever it is, she's determined not to listen to you, so I do think a bit of 'blunt' isn't out of place.

rainbowstardrops · 07/04/2016 14:38

That was quite a rude response to your voicemail!

I'm with the others who have said reply and say she's misunderstood what you meant and Saturday morning doesn't suit you

If it's some aloe crap then she's got a pretty thick skin to think you'll be vaguely interested in that as you're frantically trying to get away for your hols.

If it's something much more serious, then that's pretty shit too lumping it on you just as you're about to leave.

Why can't she just tell you NOW?!

I'd ring again and leave a voicemail if necessary saying Saturday not at all convenient but I'll be available at (insert suitable time) for a phone call tonight once kids are in bed to hear what you want.

Failing that, leave at 4am on Saturday Grin

KittenOfWoe · 07/04/2016 14:40

Another massively overinvested reader here too - how rude to have utterly ignored your voicemail to reiterate Saturday, let alone leaving us all hanging.... Grin

Goingtobeawesome · 07/04/2016 14:41

Be there on Saturday but don't answer the phone. If you have to leave while she's there, walk past her as if she's not there.

8misskitty8 · 07/04/2016 14:42

That sort of reply makes me think it is forever living or other such bollocks. Like double glazing people, they are trained to ignore people saying no.
If it's not a close relative then I'd be saying to her 'tell me now or sod off '