To be annoyed by "I need a favour but have to ask you face to face"

[Eastie77]

I think IABU but anyway...it's annoying me.

A relative sent me a text message stating she needs to pop round and ask me for a favour. It has to be this week and she asked when I'm free. I have a really busy week with various bits and bobs arranged for the kids, appointments etc. I replied the only times that are convenient would be this evening or early Saturday morning before we leave on a weekend break with the kids. I asked if she could give me a call to discuss the favour. She just replied "Ok see you Saturday". I asked again re. the call and she said no, she has to ask me face to face.

I hate this cloak and dagger shit. Just tell me what you need! If it's something awkward I'd rather she asked over the phone tbh. She lives about 40mins away on the bus (doesn't drive) and I mentioned we will be leaving early on Saturday and she'll have to get up early to get here. As this didn't dissuade her I'm guessing it's something important but what and why can't she ask over the phone?? I am not close to this relative btw.

I will feel bad if it's something 'serious' but at the moment I'm just pissed off as we will be sitting around waiting for her to get here on Saturday before we have to set off on a longish drive.

Anyway. Rant over.

No, text back, 'Come round Saturday if you like but we won't be there. I don't know how more clearly to put it than that. If you want a 40 minute bus ride for nothing, that's up to you but don't say I didn't warn you.' Then do a passive agressive smiley

'she isn't listening or is being purposefully obstructive.'

Now she really does sound like that French skin care lady

I would actually be really pissed off if someone wanted to come and see me minutes before we left to go away to ask me for a favour! . We are usually all yelling at each other about toothbrushes and iPhone chargers by that point .
Please reply-it'll only annoy you. And me.

What frustrating woman!! I'm pissed of for you too. You must be exhausted poor thing and this is the last thing you need, I couldn't help wondering what the hell she wanted

I'm with first text her to say you will not be there and then do what another poster suggested leave on Friday evening...

Id reply something along the lines of

'sorry for the confusion Yvonne but to reiterate Saturday will not work for us as we will not be in - we'll be away. Please could you call me discuss the favour today otherwise my answer will most certainly be no'

Text back. *No, early Saturday is not ok for me."

Or you could tell her you are now leaving on Friday night.

I would make sure I am gone by 10am on Saturday

I would just not be there. She is being ridiculous.

Just text back. I'm sorry there has been a misunderstanding Saturday is not fine as we won't be here Saturday morning. You need to tell me over the phone or wait until after I get back from holidays.

Hate when people do this stuff.

I like Glitteryfluff's reply.

This entire thing would piss me off so much. In fact it is pissing me off now and it has nothing to do with me.
FFS, she could just ask you over the fucking phone, like a normal person. Instead she is making a mega drama out of nothing and it probably is some stupid pyramid selling bollocks.

Whatever this favour is it simply can't be that important otherwise surely she could ask over the phone? I would be pretty bored of this by now and I would text and say "sorry but we are going away, please call me to speak to me or ask someone else "

Saturday isn't convenient, either tell me over the phone or don't bother. I'm not playing games.

Well, since you've said she doesn't really have form for this, and she doesn't appear to have housing or money issues, etc., maybe it's something more serious? Maybe she's having surgery, and then needs to stay with someone post-surgery for a while? I could see that, and could see not wanting to discuss it on the phone, especially if she's scared?

Even if it a serious thing, raising it in the chaos of a family with small kids about to leave for a weekend away is not on.

I'd amend my earlier text to 'Yvonne*, you misunderstood my message. Saturday morning isn't suitable for us. Unless you call me to discuss before Friday night, it'll have to wait until we get back.'

And then leave at the crack of dawn.

I am would be irritated beyond belief by this.

Even if I can do it I'm going to say NO because she has pissed me off so much.

If she comes over on Saturday when you are still there, just refuse to engage with her. You told her it's not convenient for you.

Crazy pyramid selling does make rational people behave badly, doesn't it? If it is that, I'd never speak to her again.

The trouble is that it's just not that easy in real life, faced with a person you know.

Hmmm, I reckon she needs an operation and wants to be collected from the hospital.

What an awkward situation! Obviously assuming it's nothing sad, this would really piss me off!

Surely if you're about to ask someone for a favour (that's big enough to require a face-to-face convo) you do what you can to make it super-convenient for them?! Starting the whole 'I need a favour...' thing with an awkward demand really isn't the best approach!

I'm with the other posters OP, I'd just text back 'Like I said in my message, Saturday doesn't work for me, best you just call me to ask the favour or it will have to wait until I get back.'

Hmmm, I reckon she needs an operation and wants to be collected from the hospital

Possibly so, but surely that's something you can ask over the phone?

I need to know!!!!

If she needs to be collected from hospital, surely that is something her husband would want to do.

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