To ask if you know anyone who wrecked a promising career

[icecreamwithflake]

And got their life together anyways?

Op - I think sadly, your second mistake was being so honest with the new school - if you want to stay in teaching, the only option is to look for a new job, put down your schools as references and wait to see what the new head of the original school puts in a reference.

There is understanding that if they are trying to get a reference from a school where none if the senior management knew the teacher (given a length of time since they worked there) then they can't comment on ability, just confirming that you worked there.

If no reference is forthcoming, just say sorry, nothing you can do, the head you worked for has retired. Don't start offering your opinion it'll be a bad reference when it does arrive. It is unlikely the new head is going to be happy to put their name to something that happened before their time and isn't confirmed.

But they contacted the school without my knowing Dinosaurs, besides the problem I have now is that I've just worked in so many schools in a very short space of time and it is obviously putting schools off.

While they had contacted the old school, had they been told anything negative before you told them?

The large number of schools is going to be an issue now, but could be explained via needing to move areas, "family issues" meaning you had to be at home....

Or it's time to reassess, think about other career options with a degree and education experience.

You need to treat the depression first.

Although you will probably have to declare this in your medical history, you can use it as a positive that you were not in the best place (due to your initial error) but now are and are looking forward to move on.

I created this though so I have to sort it. No point trying.

I don't mean to be unhelpful, but if I had been you, I would have taken a chance with the old school.

When you apply for your next job, leave it out of your employment history altogether.

You can 100% do this, your life does not need to be defined by this mistake. The more time that passes, the more insignificant it becomes.

When you said 'bad' reference, did you go into details? I would imagine that if you were reluctant to, the HT first fear would be safeguarding concerns, hence the offer of resignation?

I know someone who got kicked out of med school. No chance of a reference. He now runs his own very successful business. My DP has left jobs on bad terms more than once. He's given client references instead.

Have you actually seen the form of reference the first school would give you? In my experience when giving a written reference people don't give a bad reference but only a factual one when the candidate was a bad leaver. Mainly because liability attaches to the giver. I left a job on bad terms once (my boss was a sociopathic bully - I now realise). I negotiated a reference and it made me sound amazing - and he hated me! Unless you are unsafe to be around children (in which case you should change career anyway) you will probably get at worst a neutral one. Could you ask for a general "to whom it may concern " reference from the school? Of course teaching mat have specific requirements I am not aware of.

How about consultancy ? within schools , take your mistake ( scapegoating ) and make it a business ?

I created this though so I have to sort it. No point trying.

What does that mean?

Do you have DC, OP?

Could you do supply teaching and build up a reference from there?

I am, but schools stil want references and it looks bad due to constant chopping and changing

How far back do they request references - do they want them from every school you've worked in?

If you're on supply I'd imagine they'd take that into account when seeing several schools listed.

Mmm it's not really the bad reference now though. It's just the moving from school to school.

DH was apparently a promising footballer as a teen. He played for the junior division of a premier league team and was pegged to play for the adults (sorry don't know the right terminology) team when he was older.

His parents split when he was 14, and went through what sounds like a nasty bitter divorce. Neither of them took him to training after the split (1 hour drive 3 X a week) as they were seemingly point scoring with the other one ("well I'm not taking you as your dad didn't bother last week" kind of thing). They also quickly found new partners which took up lots their time

They had to sell up as neither could afford their (gorgeous) house in the country, and they moved into the nearest city into fairly rough neighbourhoods.

DH got in with a bad crowd and started skipping school to go to the local park and drink. Football career totally down the pan by the time he reached 15.

He's teaching DD to play football, and now plays in a Sunday league, and I can tell from watching him how good he is, and how good he could have been (although he's in late 30s now so now chance of reviving career). He's not a bitter man generally but this does get to him that he threw it all away and that his parents forgot about him and his dreams.

He does however run a very successful business now - he's not a millionaire or of football proportions, but we don't do too badly. And he's happy.

He's also often said it could be a blessing in disguise - he said he thinks money would have ruined him at a young age as he was immature, stupid and impulsive. He also picked up a rather worrying drug habit at age 18, and said had he been rich enough, he would have ended up buying endless amounts of cocaine and have ended up killing himself

I know unions have already been mentioned, sometimes negatively but I've had very good help and support fron the NUT, not from a school rep but from people at the local office. Some unions also run telephone helplines for members needing support. Worth trying I think. I hope things improve for you, soon. Good teachers are in short supply.
In one school I taught in all 3 year 6 teachers knew of the head cheating in SATs and disliked it. Asked why they didn't whistle blow on the head they said 'It's our jobs!'' It would have been the head's job on the line first! All, quite young, went on to senior posts a few years later.

I'm a teacher. I have previously re-negotiated references. One was because the HT just trotted out the same one each year, although I'd taken on a paid responsibility, and it wasn't even mentioned in his reference, so could have looked like I'd made up my position!

Anyway - could you potentially contact the current HT, ask for a face to face meeting, then see if they would reword the reference? Lots of schools now only give very neutral or good references in case they say something negative and then get sued for it. The new HT might be very wary of giving their name to something that may not be completely true. Are there other management staff there who would give a more neutral reference and vouch for it to the new head?

As regards the switching from school to school, that's also becoming increasingly common. You can say you were effectively doing supply but on a job by job basis.

It doesn't matter what I say I am not being shortlisted so it looks bad. anyway thank you all I'm sorry.

Me in a way.

Walked out of a job with no notice, sued the firm, settled out of court (so no clues as to the job I do for obis reasons). After about two years in temporary jobs found the one I have been in for the last 8 years.