To ask if you know anyone who wrecked a promising career

[icecreamwithflake]

And got their life together anyways?

I was in an NHS job where I was put in a really small team. I got pregnant and had a late miscarriage and phoned up to 4 times a day by my manager asking me pointless questions about my job. I knew she was doing it just to harass me. I came back to work after a week.

About a month later my dc1 got admitted to hospital and I asked for emergency leave I was told by the manager I wasn't allowed it and unless i came in work I'd be receiving disciplinary action for unauthorised absence so I had to leave my dd in hospital to go to work (the job I did wasn't emergency it would have caused no problems for me taking 1 days leave)
When I got in I realised my day off hadn't been granted as my line manager had arranged to have her hair cut in works time and needed me to cover her.

Finally I got pregnant again and I almost had a miscarriage had to have an operation to stop this and in the space of two weeks the manager decided to escalate the sickness policy to the point I was about to be dismissed. It was completely illegal so I whistle blew on a lot of stuff that went on in the office that shouldn't have. Manager was disciplined and took early retirement.

I left but that was basically the end of my career no one would give me a reference. So I couldn't get another job.

Is there a way around it? Could you ask someone a colleague to give you a reference as opposed to a manager? Can you temp so that you have a different previous employer and get a new reference from them?

I found out I could temp to get a reference that way and carry on my career but I decided to leave the profession and start a completely new career myself. I run my own business now which I was lucky to be able to do.

Try and think around the problem if you want another job. Can you do anything else with your experience?

Tobys I'm sorry but I'm not engaging with stuff like that.

Jesses along those lines.

Do you have a friend at the old school or a friend who was at the old school and left?
If so I would put them down as a reference on applications?

Just write their name straight in the reference section don't even mention it's not the head?
If anything comes of it you could say the head left so you've given a professional reference from the school?

You can't do that Snore, you just can't. Sometimes if a head doesn't know you well they might pass on the request to a line manager and they fill it in and return to the head but it still has to come from the head.

Schools use references differently to other employers. They are taken at shortlisting, not on offer of employment. You must give your previous/current head, who cannot just give a confirmatory "was employed from then til now" reference. There are specific questions about safeguarding. Concerns have to be passed on. Agreed references are common when a teacher is resigning to avoid capability on performance issues, but where there are issues around safeguarding or malpractice, the references will need to give details. Is it a malpractice thing here? If so, then I can only suggest complete transparency during the recruitment process.

In fairness anyway my OP was about wrecking a career and what in gods name you do next, I already get that I'm pretty much unemployable now.

I'm not sure how things work but I assume you only need the long list of references for teaching jobs because of child protection?

Will the temp job you've had will they give you a reference?
Because private companies might only want one reference which could be a way around it. What about a teaching supplies company type job? Where you go into a school to sell a specific product and then go in to teach the teachers how to use it?
Sorry if it's a crap suggestion I know a lot of nurses who do similar with medical supplies

Sorry, yes, I was just getting frustrated with the reference posts.

Have you ever done anything other than teach? Financially, how much of a hit can you afford?

My DH got a job with terrible reference from HT - the new HT told him it was bad.

He just wowed them in the interview and lesson so they were prepared to take a chance.

Or you go and work for an agency and you use them as a reference.

That's fine when it is performance that is the concern. Not for other issues.

Primary or secondary? Do you live in an 11+ area? I know someone who makes a good living from 11+ tutoring. £30/hr from home. 4-7 after school and all day sat/sun. Then extra sessions in holidays.

Study centres are also very popular in the area. Either kumon or 11+ themed. Teach in small classes yet £20/child for hr.

I think people have got a bit hung up on the issue of references, but reading between the lines it sounds as though the thing you were pressured into doing effectively renders you unemployable as a teacher.

What other career options have you considered? What is it that's making you think twice about starting a family?

I know someone who was sacked for having pornographic material on her work pc. When the company merged with another apparently they discarded former employee records. She was rehired and is doing quite well for them now.

In fairness anyway my OP was about wrecking a career and what in gods name you do next, I already get that I'm pretty much unemployable now.

No you arent unemployable, I wrecked my own teaching career so I speak from experience. I know it feels like the end of the world but it isn't, you'll look back on it in a couple of years as just part of your life experience.

If you wont challenge the reference then you need to get another non teaching job. This is the path I took. In the real world people accept that everyone makes mistakes.

Given that you were employed for a term at your new school, I've known negative references be overlooked on the basis that in the classroom the teacher was doing well (even just doing ok is enough if the school has recruitment issue).

So the fact they have ended your contact, I can see this is serious.

OP - Get out of teaching and do something else, at least for a while.

If you value being in education you could consider TA, HLTA, office staff, school manager, science technician, school/uni librarian, work in a college or university, admin at a college.

You would be surprised how much grace is given for a face an institution knows. Get your foot in the door with a temp non-teaching role. Work hard, keep your head down until it's a permits to job. Then offer the odd supply shift as a teacher when needed. See what happens.

Our school had a DT technician who did exactly that. Ex-teacher who hated the stress. Got 2 terms as DT tech, made permanent tech. Worked for 5-6 years then started doing the odd lesson on supply basis. Then became DT supply cover full time. Then fully employed as a teacher again.

That reference is not legal at all!!!

All companies can do these days are say x worked here as x and the dates. There are massive legal implications if they say anything else- go to a solicitor and get that reviewed.

That is not true, I'm afraid.

I know.

I do apologise. I wasn't aware of how references are used in teaching.

I stand by my point that you sound defeated though

There are loads of options for new careers, you just need to somehow put this behind you and start feeling motivated to explore those options. A careers counsellor is an option as well as someone to help put this in perspective. Loads of people do the second career thing these days so you won't be the only one. I've been to careers events with people of all ages trying to start the same career as me.

I got pregnant, unplanned, at 26 but it felt like an escape route from a bad career. It's given me time to think, I've studied and volunteered as they've got older. I've also faced the fact I have depression which I'd denied but was causing big problems in work. I went from someone doing well and being encouraged to go for promotion to being treated nastily with managers conspiring to screw me over. It was awful and it's my last experience of paid employment. I hope it would have been different if I'd admitted I was depressed. But I know now and am much better at managing it. Thankfully I'd get a factual reference and it was nothing to do with why I left.

I've been home for six years now, two kids and youngest about to start school. I'm still depressed (and in tears thinking about my experience in work) but positive about the options and excited about the possibilities while being more relaxed about what the future holds - I'm lucky I don't have to work but staying home isn't an option for my mental wellbeing. Motherhood is an option, it doesn't make life easier, may force you to face up to things and will make work more tricky, but it does put things into perspective. Don't let this ruin your life.

I think it's impossible for anyone to sensibly advise as we don't and can't understand the situation. The thing I don't understand is if what the op has done is so bad as to be sacked surely the GTC would have stuck her off anyway, you wouldn't be able to dodge that by resigning. That is why I initially assumed it was some shitty 'capability' case.

I also get the impression that the op wants to continue teaching, which I didn't so that's all different.

Can you afford to talk to a specialist employment solicitor op?

If you aren't able to teach anymore there's lots of things you could do with a teaching qualification. Assuming it wasn't a safeguarding issue you could consider voluntary organisations and child/family support work, adult or community learning, literacy support or tutoring, training - none of which would require GTC registration but all make good use of your professional skills. It might not be what you wanted originally from a career but could be equally rewarding. I'm sorry you sound so downhearted and obviously had a terrible experience with your previous HT.

Tobys will you stop making stuff up

Ok just trying to help. Will leave now. Genuinely good luck I hope everything works out for you.

I'm not going to try to understand your motivation Tobys.