To ask if you know anyone who wrecked a promising career

[icecreamwithflake]

And got their life together anyways?

[catsrus]

I hope this doesn't sound too trite - but you need to adjust your thinking, you've got locked into thinking of this as your failure. It sounds like the system failed you.

If you can adjust to thinking of it as an opportunity to have a radical change of direction that might help. What have you wanted to do but been unable to do because you took that career path?

I had a spectacular career fail at 38. I spent the next 6yrs working p/t in an office while I retrained in something else. I then spent the next 16yrs in that new (third) career. I could only do that because I was not the main income provider at that point so it's not the option for everyone.

If you were a teacher or TA and have a degree are there other career options you might have taken with that degree?
If you were a TA and don't have a degree - do you want to do one? You would be eligible for student loans. If you could live on that! If you need to work and study p/t then you can get a student loan for fees only in order to do an OU degree. Expect this to take 6-8yrs. Mine did and it was totally life transforming for me

[icecreamwithflake]

I am trying to think of other options but whatever i am interested in there seems to be a resounding choros of 'noo don't do it!'

I would also love to have a baby and part of me thinks now might be a good time because it gives me a break from the intensity but another part thinks it's madness.

[catsrus]

That reference doesn't sound legal to me! We were trained to only give facts, not opinion, in references. Were you / are you , in a union who could give advice on this? Have you spoken to citizens advice? Can you go above the HT to the LEA or board of governors and say you are considering legal action as the reference is both unfair and misleading? www.gov.uk/work-reference.

This is a useful site findlaw.co.uk/law/employment/employment_law_basics/getting_a_job/give-and-receive-a-reference.html

If you could get a new reference that was a statement of fact reference, not opinion, then this might help.

[fastdaytears]

It also said a lot of other stuff that wasn't true but can't really be argued with as its one persons perspective

This is why places are normally so careful with references. Whoever wrote this (presumably the HT) really shouldn't have. You should be able to get a short factual reference. Can you say whether state or private?

[catsrus]

Having a career break for children is something which needs little explanation on a CV though . Who are the chorus saying "no don't do it"? That's doesn't sound supportive - what have you explored? Even if it's in your own head!

[icecreamwithflake]

Honestly the unions don't help. I don't want to sound all critical - well I guess I am a bit - but they just don't do much.

There was a LOT going on (personally) at the same time and it just sort of all got chucked into the same washing machine of emotions. It's a vile reference but the HT who gave it has since retired which further complicates matters.

[Scarydinosaurs]

When I was in a similar position I applied for posts and didn't put it down as a reference- instead using my teaching training establishment (mentor and professional tutor) and it was fine. Even nine years on I don't use them as references and it doesn't matter now.

At the time it was horrible and made me very ill with the thought I had ruined the career I had always planned on having.

[pearlylum]

I had a "career fail" and now loving where I am.

I was a research scientist before kids- long unpredictable hours, huge amount of travel, away from home sometimes for weeks on end, I loved it but was not compatible with family life. I wanted to care for my children at home, so I packed in my job.

I became self employed, working from home. fast forward 15 years and I am still at home! I work 20 hours a week and earn as much as my OH,

[tobysmum77]

Have you asked your union about the reference? They were useless in my experience also, old boys clubs.

I think it should say 'ice cream worked at the school from x to y'. Nothing else. It's hard though because we don't know the full story.

[Lightbulbon]

If they have retired then can't the new ht just give you a basic reference from the records ie works for X years, x days off sick, resigned on ...?

[tobysmum77]

It's a vile reference but the HT who gave it has since retired which further complicates matters.

Doesn't that actually make things better? Can't you breezily ring up the new head and ask for 'ice cream worked here from x to y' (this will happen loads surely with new HTs) and go to a supply agency to start again?

[Scarydinosaurs]

I don't think that reference can be used if they have since retired? Do you have any friends left at the school?

I feel you on the unions. The two times I ever needed them they were less than useless.

[icecreamwithflake]

If it did Toby it wouldn't be a problem.

Unfortunately what happened was initially I did manage to move on; I joined a supply agency but only worked for them for a week or so before being offered a job on a more steady basis basically full time. Technically still supply teaching but one whole year so like 'normal' teaching. I thought that was the answer and anything else wouldn't matter because I'd use them as a reference and though it was a step back in a lot of ways it didn't matter as I'd relocated anyway due to all the personal crap flying around so I naively thought all I needed to do was put current school down as reference say 'relocated due to personal reasons' (and I had an excellent reason) and use the school before the school where it all went wrong as reference.

It haunted me though as I got another job at a similar level to my previous one didn't put 'bad school' down as reference but did write them on application form and got offered the job. I thought id drawn a line successfully under it all.

To my absolute horror I got this stroppy letter from HR a week before I was due to start at my new school saying 'we still have not received a reference from (bad school)' I rang up straightaway and said no one had mentioned this during the application or interview and they just said it was their policy to contact employers within a certain timeframe. I said the head had resigned (true) they said not to worry they'd just do a risk assessment on me - I thought oh, just a box ticking thing.

I worked there for a term before it all fell down around my ears.

So if anything I'm in a worse position than before.

[tobysmum77]

So have you phoned the new head up and explained this?

[tobysmum77]

Are you saying that the offer of employment has now been withdrawn?

[InTheSandbox]

Name changed for this.
I was an outstanding teacher. HT fell out with me. Got a rubbish reference, one of the worst I have ever read. It said I was only just coping with my own childrrn nevermind a full class of them.
Applied for some jobs, didn't get them. Worked as a TA for a term. Got supply work teaching for a term. Got a matenity cover. School really impressed. Now teaching full time again and will never need that bad reference again. It can be done.

[BitOutOfPractice]

I would contact the old school, ask for a factual reference and say you've taken legal advice from the union and that's what you're entitled to.

The fact that the HT has retired surely works in your favour.

You do seem to have given up

[curren]

I worked there for a term before it all fell down around my ears.

Why did it fall down?

If the old HT at the bad school isn't there and it was a while a go. Surely the reference from someone who wasn't your HT won't matter?

[DinosaursRoar]

Right, guessing it's pretty bad if after working a term in the new school, having a reference from the long term supply school, the new school finding out about what happened at the first school (which was blamed on you) fired you.

I would say then it's clearly something that you can't move on in your career with, as if after working for that long at the new school they couldn't keep you on with that hanging over you.

Perhaps start a new thread, new careers from teaching. Assume you have a degree, so there's going to be other options. If you are thinking about having a baby, then I would say try to get a new job first so at least you get maternity pay. What are you doing now work wise?

[icecreamwithflake]

Sandbox something not worlds apart happened to me too, the difficulty came when a school wanted references dating back to a certain period

[SkodaLabia]

Were you a term into the new 1 year contract when you were sacked, or had you already done a year after doing your week of supply?

OP, I think you need to work through the issue in this order:

1. decide whether teaching is the only thing you want to do.
   
   
2. if it is, what are your options? HE? FE? PRU?
   
   
3. if not, look at your responsibilities as if you have no idea what a 'teacher' does and try to boil them down to what the skills are. So, for example, working with a TA can become 'management of staff'. This will give you an idea of what your skills will equate to outside teaching.
   
   
4. consider at a very basic level what bits of your job you liked. So, was it 'working indoors', 'working in a team but with lots of solo responsibility', 'working to deadlines' etc
   
   This should all help you to decide what to do next, as you can start to research which careers have the component parts that you like.
   
   You seem totally defeated and paralysed, which is understandable, but you need to make a plan to move forward.

[tobysmum77]

Icecream you haven't answered the question about whether you have tried to get a reference from the new head. I had a bad time in teaching so I get why you dont want to phone that school. But you have to, then no misleading at all you have a sufficient reference and it's over with. Have you involved your union area rep they are often the most proactive ime. Forget about the union experience 18 months ago, you need them now as well.

It's annoying that you thought it was behind you and its rearing its ugly head again, but you need to put on your big girl pants and fight/ deal with it.

[tobysmum77]

Sorry if that sounded harsh I do honestly understand that you thought this was behind you. I'd have been horrified if it had reared up again once it was behind me. It would have taken 5+ years for me to happily call that school

[Jessesbitch]

This has made me think of something I read in papers. It was a school where the head encouraged teachers to cheat in SATs. Was this it? It was uncovered and I can see how teachers would be scapegoated. There was a courtcase and the head retired.

[Gabilan]

OP there are ways round the reference but it sounds as if what happened could follow you around anyway.

I am sorry you are going through this. For me, enforced career change and scapegoating was one of the worst experiences I've had. But it did mean I got treated for depression, which had been undiagnosed for 25 years. I also got back to something much more suited to my training and aptitude.

It may well feel hopeless but it really isn't. There are ways through but try to bend a little, otherwise you'll break.