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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Pram phobia

129 replies

Irrationalphobia · 31/03/2016 12:57

I've name changed as this is quite embarrassing. I realise I probably deserve to be laughed at and told I need to get a grip, but this is genuinely causing me a lot of worry.

I'm really pleased to be pregnant with my first and I'm not an anxious person by nature. I'm not overly worried about blood tests or giving birth or sleepless nights. But the thought of pushing a pram fills me with horror and panic. I don't know what is is about them but I can't bring myself to even go into a shop to look at them, let alone touch or push one.

I saw a woman jogging with an enormous pram the other day in full lycra running gear, really going for it. God help you if you got in her way, they'd have to identify you from your dental records. I thought she looked completely ridiculous (sorry if this description sounds like you). I felt really panicky and faint thinking oh god please don't let that be me.

I would honestly rather wake up covered in spiders than push a pram.

Maybe I could just have a sling to carry the baby around in (dh thinks not)? Has anyone managed without a pram? Any other suggestions?

OP posts:

53rdAndBird · 31/03/2016 13:00

Ours hated the pram, so we just used a sling. Worked fine.

splendide · 31/03/2016 13:03

You definitely can manage without a pram. How strange though - have you got any idea why you feel like this? I'm just being nosy to be honest.

JasperDamerel · 31/03/2016 13:04

Plenty of people just use slings, and you can always get a pram later if you change your mind.

UmbongoUnchained · 31/03/2016 13:04

I only ever use my pram if it's pissing down with rain. Get a connecta carrier they are amazing.

Also get a grip. It's a pram.

Heirhelp · 31/03/2016 13:04

You could just so a sling but I don't think you can if you have a c-section. Is it a pram thing? Or are you projecting fear of parenthood onto the pram? I am excited to use my pram but not excited for baby.

AGrinWithoutACat · 31/03/2016 13:06

I never had a pram - I do have a pushchair which is not big or bulky and a sling collection

Slings are great for walks and trips out but think about carrying a nappy and wipes (I have a large handbag too)

Longer trips, and if I want to do any shopping I use the buggy as it means I don't have to carry baby, plus essentials, plus milk etc

Can you psych yourself up to go and have a look at small, lightweight buggys (lots are suitable from new born - my Quinny frame took the baby car seat until she was strong enough for the actual seat part) and see if there are any with any good points for you?

Sighing · 31/03/2016 13:07

No pram for dd1 nor dd2 (now 10 & 8). Sling. Sling sling. Downside - putting down pre mobile/ highchair able children.
I did have a simple buggy when dd1 was a toddler and dd2 in the sling ... mainly because it carried the epic amount of STUFf (reusable nappies, changes of clothes, snacks etc).

Herewegoagainfolks · 31/03/2016 13:07

Irrational. Lots of people use slings.

However it can be a bit limiting as the DC gets heavier but still isn't able to walk long distances. You wouldn't be able to carry a heavy toddler and a load of shopping for example.

However if your lifestyle suits using a car for that kind of thing you might find it ok.

The only other thing I'd say is that sometimes with a tantruming toddler/examining every stick leaf type toddler/bad weather it's useful to have a buggy.

They aren't in any way compulsory though.

HairyBoob · 31/03/2016 13:07

Unless you are a hardcore 'baby wearer', you will likely need a pram IMO.

Surely the best option is to work out why you're so freaked out by them and address that?

sepa · 31/03/2016 13:07

I had a c-section and couldn't think of anything worse than trying out my sling at the moment (4 weeks tomorrow since DC came), but, your also not meant to push a pram till 6 weeks either so the c-sec thing shouldn't have a bearing on it (I have pushed my pram through)

Maybe you just haven't found the right pram yet!

WoodleyPixie · 31/03/2016 13:08

A fair few of my friends only ever used slings and never even owned prams or buggies. I wa the other way and a bit of a pram addict.

As long Aston have a strong back I can't see why you couldn't get by without one.

hownottofuckup · 31/03/2016 13:11

Used the pram loads with my first 2, hardly at all with my youngest 2.
How odd though. I'd really want to know why I felt like that if I was you.

Artandco · 31/03/2016 13:18

You can def use a sling with a c section, just need one you tie up high rather than one that goes around your waist

niminypiminy · 31/03/2016 13:19

I had peak phobia. Bought one but took it back -it was so large, and I could never see myself using it. Managed with slings and a maclaren buggy - which I hardly ever used, ended up giving away and replaced with the cheapest possible mothercare pushchair. Both children walked everywhere really early because the pushchair was so uncomfortable. It was all fine and I never regretted not having a prank.

Topseyt · 31/03/2016 13:20

You really might need to see what is going to work for you once the baby arrives.

Some people get on with slings and others don't. I didn't, and also had a c-section so needed to use the pram. Didn't know you weren't supposed to push a pram after a c-section, and I certainly did it. I guess advice changes though, or is added to.

niminypiminy · 31/03/2016 13:20

Pram phobia not peak phobia!

queenMab99 · 31/03/2016 13:21

My friend had her baby at 18, 45 years ago, and could not bear the idea of a pram, she used to carry him under her arm! She also has a problem with handbags, she never carries one , just shoves things in her pocket or holds her keys etc in her hand. She was/is very beautiful so doesn't need a comb or makeup bag luckily. I needed a pram to carry the baby and everything I thought I might need kitchen sink

randomsabreuse · 31/03/2016 13:23

Sling is fine but you might need pram for gps or dh. Only used mine for smear test but could have just used car seat

Original poster

Irrationalphobia · 31/03/2016 13:24

Thank you all so much for taking the time to reply, I am feeling a bit more reassured, dh has been absolutely adamant and quite forceful that I would HAVE to have a pram. I am a bit worried about when the baby is bigger and heavier though but I will have to deal with that when the time comes.

I am frustrated and angry with myself as I just can't work out why I feel like this about prams. I'm happy with the idea of a sling and of parenthood in general (although I've never been a "baby" person). I keep thinking that maybe I am subconsciously worried about something and am projecting this onto prams for some reason. I'd love to get to the bottom of it.

I think it's partly that I feel prams are quite big and conspicuous and I'm worried of getting in everyone's way and causing a nuisance, but I know that's not the whole issue as I'm not usually worried or nervous when out.

OP posts:

curren · 31/03/2016 13:24

It's perfectly reasonable to not use a pram....for some people. Many factors come into play. Like lifestyle, how the baby is born (sling wearing after a section is a no no) etc

Also would you be willing to carry the baby the entire time you were out? I didn't like wearing a sling, but dh did. So we had both. But I would have used the sling because he said we couldn't have a pram.

If you dh wants a pram, let him pick it out and him use it. And you use the sling.

You may find you come round to the idea or find a pram easier. But no pressure that you have to push it.

pearlylum · 31/03/2016 13:27

I never had a pram.

Depends on your lifestyle too- I lived in the country when the kids were babies, if we were out walking paths were muddy and rough underfoot, so a sling then a back carrier worked best until they could walk. Also all other journeys were done by car or bus, so a pram would have been impractical.
I used a car seat and a sling/ carrier. Nothing else.

pearlylum · 31/03/2016 13:28

For those saying a pram is a must how does that work on a weekly shop to Tesco for instance?

BadDoGooder · 31/03/2016 13:28

I had a front wearing sling, and used a backpack!
I had a pram but I hated it, I think it got used 6 times in total!
I had a c section, just gave it a few weeks until I felt comfortable, but the advice is the same for prams anyway.

When DS got a bit older I bought a carrier, and I only stopped carrying him a little while ago (he is now nearly 4).

We do a lot of stuff where a pushchair is completely impractical (walking in the country/festivals etc) and I was more than happy to carry him, rather than miss out! Even DP liked it, and did his fair share!

If you don't like prams, you really don't have to have one.

pearlylum · 31/03/2016 13:30

I admit that I don't really get all the pramzilla attitudes I read about. Spending a small fortune on the latest must have or trendy wheel configuration.
Pram buying seems a bit of a competitive sport.

PurpleTraitor · 31/03/2016 13:30

I didn't get a pram or pushchair. Not phobic just thought I would get one if I needed one and then never needed one

With no storage space and no car it was never going to make sense for us to have one

Yes it is an odd phobia but no less valid, if that's the way you feel' though it might be worth wondering why

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