Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That au pair FINISHED my expensive Mother's Day chops?

153 replies

Honesttodog · 30/03/2016 23:12

I can stretch a box of chocolates out for months. Just went to have one and the fucking box was empty. Unlikely that DH are the, AS HE GAVE THEM TO ME. I put them on a shelf in the sideboard that neither child could reach.

WWYD?

Never said explicitly these are my special chocs don't touch but they are away from all other foods.

OP posts:
Original poster
Honesttodog · 31/03/2016 10:35

Wow started this thread last night after a few drinks. Was not expecting anyone to care about my salty balls! But thanks all for ur sympathy/ disgust (hi xena 😘) / meat related gags. I will be hiding the next box in my knicker drawer. Agree it's not worth berating her as it seems like making a fuss over nothing. Just very irritating at the time.

OP posts:
DaphneWhitethigh · 31/03/2016 10:36

Xena appears to be living in a parallel universe where women don't need to work. Au Pairs can be a reasonable non-exploitative mutually satisfactory solution to the need to square 9-3 school hours with a 9-5 job, and the desire of a young person to travel abroad/learn a language/have a fair amount of free time with the safety blanket of a friendly supportive family. Or they can be disastrous/exploitative.

However where xena does have a point is that I wouldn't want a young woman who I believed to be genuinely dim and clueless to have sole care for my 4 year old. Much bigger issue than a 14 quid box of fabulously delicious chocs.

BeStrongAndCourageous · 31/03/2016 10:37

I've only recently finished my Mothers Day chocolates, and in fact still have bars of Christmas chocolate in the fridge - it's very rich, dark chocolate and I can't eat more than a square or two at a time.

YANBU, OP, I'd be cross too, but I don't think it warrants anything more than checking it was definitely her, and if it was explaining that they were not "family" food but a gift to you and could she not do that again.

As an aside, the guzzlers who wolf down whole boxes of chocolates in a matter of hours or days are as big an anathema to me as people like the OP and I are to them! I just don't get it - don't you feel sick afterwards?

rainbowstardrops · 31/03/2016 10:43

WHY ARE YOU STILL ASSUMING IT WAS THE AU PAIR????!!!!!

Have you actually asked her???

It quite possibly/probably was her but I'm getting irrationally cross that you're just assuming. Angry

fascicle · 31/03/2016 10:49

rainbowstardrops
Is it only me that thinks it's a bit off that the OP is automatically assuming it's the AP that has scoffed the chocs??? Confused

I agree. OP has presented this as fact in the thread title but at this stage it's an assumption. And ruling out her dh on the basis that he bought the chocolates wouldn't provide an automatic alibi in this house. Another missing detail is what the au pair has been told in terms of helping herself to food. If she did finish the chocolates but she's generally been given free rein with food, then that could explain a misunderstanding.

SoupDragon · 31/03/2016 11:29

I'm getting irrationally cross

Indeed Wink

rainbowstardrops · 31/03/2016 13:15

Grin I've calmed down now. Honest Grin

quietbatperson · 31/03/2016 14:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Beeziekn33ze · 31/03/2016 15:28

Kleinzeit, what you said in your first sentence. 08:22:50. That!

Beeziekn33ze · 31/03/2016 15:32

As someone who is j u s t overcoming a serious Paul A Young habit I have to record my excitement when advised that his chocolates should neither be kept in the fridge nor indeed kept at all for more than a couple of days ...

Beeziekn33ze · 31/03/2016 15:40

Derxa, you are so right. I once subscribed to Hotel Chocolat's monthly tasting box. I intended to enjoy one each evening, yeah right! Came home from work one warm afternoon to find the latest propped against my front step.
I still ate them, of course.

mamaslatts · 31/03/2016 15:55

I agree with LaurieMarlow

Also, you haven't asked if it even was her or said how many she took. It seems she just finished off some chocolates that had been around for weeks and you have called her dim, immature and would like to get rid of her but won't as that would be inconvenient. I cannot think why the agency can't find you another au pair, you sound like a peach to work for.

annamae · 31/03/2016 16:12

OP. You are mean, mean, mean and nasty. She helps out in the household and you are fretting over bloody chocs? Hop over to the shops and get you some more chocs- eesh! Shock

scampimom · 01/04/2016 11:52

I fancy some salty balls now.

mosteff · 01/04/2016 12:55

I can understand being really irritated but I think you are over-reacting a tiny bit. She might be too young to know the rules. You just have to make the rules more clear - Please don't eat anything I've been given as a gift. FWIW I was in a similar situation last summer - made an expensive granola and SIL's nanny finished the entire bag off in two days - should have last 10. Couldn't say anything obviously - just didn't do that ever again. In your case, if she is a nice person, just dumb, you have to clarify the boundaries.

usernamealreadytaken · 01/04/2016 13:33

not really any help, but if you goooogle Artisan du, then "...chocolate salted caramels" is top of the list, so I'm guessing lots more MNers have been checking them out, not just me!! Look devine, would be miffed to find my box empty. Would, however, be delighted to have an au-pair to deal with building lego and doing school runs.

Babymamaroon · 01/04/2016 21:06

Bottom line - au pairs are an extension of the family and just like everyone else in the family need to ask if it's OK to tuck in to certain things. I wouldn't expect anyone to just help themselves to anything like that.

I'd never pop round to someone's home and open some chocolates!

Each to their own but I imagine she knew that wasn't ok.

Snazarooney · 01/04/2016 21:23

I'm gutted chops was a typo too!

Floggingmolly · 01/04/2016 21:25

Anyone who can stretch a box of chocolates out for months doesn't deserve them
They went to a good home.

Pambilaga1608 · 03/04/2016 00:29

Compared to the Beluga Caviar girl, your chocolates are small fry. Just buy another box for 15 quid and get on with your life.

Vintage45 · 03/04/2016 00:42

You sound bloody awful OP.

hibbleddible · 03/04/2016 00:53

You do sound a bit like a nightmare employer.

I tell my au pair to help herself to whatever she wants. I secretly wince when the oreos disappear, but think of the bigger picture.

Is au pair allowed any treats?

asdad · 03/04/2016 01:32

Any chance of persuading your cook to knock up another batch, but this time use laxative chocolate as you still have the box?

SoupDragon · 03/04/2016 08:10

You really can't see the difference between a packet of Oreos and some "posh" chocolates which were a gift?

SoupDragon · 03/04/2016 08:12

Even my children understand the difference between stuff that is for everyone and things that were a gift.